I think this is a nice idea; I like that she didn’t care what anyone else thought of her - she just wanted to be with the person she loved. I think this is a pretty interesting pairing, too, and I would have loved to see a little more on it. It was nice seeing how she was prepared to take so much for him, and I think that worked well for showing a small scene in their relationship. I would have liked, however, to maybe see how they got together. Maybe a prequel? I think it would be interesting to see how she struggled with crushing on her friends boyfriend.

Again, there were a few mistakes with commas, but nothing else that I could see. I liked the way you chose to write the part where everyone was insulting her as just sentences without any context behind them. I think it shows really well how anyone could be saying them - and everyone probably was - and how she didn’t know who was throwing these insults at her.