Reviews for Desperado
Mr. Falcon Punch chapter 29 . 7/5
damn I've been keeping up with this fanfic for 4 years now and I just wanna say that every time I read a new chapter it really inspires me to write something myself. I still havn't tried tho :( but seeing such a great original story on not the most well known character of games gives me hope that maybe I can write something that people can enjoy to. But as always Im looking forward to seeing another chapter and I hope your doing well.
Praxus84 chapter 29 . 7/3
Very interesting and fun to watch. At least Kotal's not tearing him apart; Shao Kahn would've probably crushed Erron, the girl, her father and their neighbors for the display. Your characters are as always nice to read about ;-)
SaphiraRyuuka chapter 28 . 6/18
Oh my god! I can't believe you actually made this man say "woof", I actually read it in his voice and was positively DYING! XD. Though I did have a question, especially since its progressing into MK11, any chance he'll turn more into the obnoxious, sexy flirt we all love to hate? Can't wait to see what reins he'll pull to try to get her attention, better hurry up woman, you've got my attention now! XD
ReverB chapter 28 . 9/19/2019
I need more, this is beautifull. Pure art 3 3 3
Pure Czech Girl chapter 28 . 8/25/2019
Oh my, I’m so glad I accidentally opened the app because otherwise I never would have found out that you’re back. You seriously made me so happy, thank you!
SilentObserver chapter 28 . 8/21/2019
This story is so damn good there could be a movie made out of it! Norah is such a well made and realistic character and the same can be said about your other OC's. I really don't have anything bad to say about this gem of a story tbh I just really love it, it's like a breath of fresh air.
Despite me being a sucker for enemies-turned-lovers I'm really glad you're taking it slow with Erron and Norah's relationship, it's far more realistic that way and I honestly can't wait for what's to come.
kumulonimbus chapter 28 . 8/5/2019
What a way of making us come back to the present day! I agree with you about not killing Hulin – as much as I despise that man his presence in this portion of the story has provided us with a sense of complexity that simply exceeds the role of the antagonist. I still feel he’s got a lot to do, a great distance to go before his character arc is completed – the ending for this chapter makes me believe this man is going to have to come up with a new plan before the fuel firing his original motives is truly depleted.

On the other hand, I wonder if Chaeomi was only a silent bystander throughout Erron’s life or if maybe the being decided to interfere at some point, one way or another, and the man we see now is, in part, a construct created to be in this position he occupies now…

Great chapter! Waiting eagerly for the next one!
dumbass-anon chapter 28 . 8/3/2019
I am so happy that you're back working on this story. I first read it a year ago and the "aesthetics" of the story stuck with me. The OC's and their motives, the environment and visual descriptions of the palace in particular, the soul crushing things Norah has to go through...I could go on.

I re-read the entire thing and noticed you're trigger happy (ha) with disclaimers about writing Erron out of character, but I think your writing is spot on. The MK series is not a story-driven-player-choice one, so I think fic writers can take some liberties with character development.

In the early chapters I also took note that characters I wouldn't normally pay attention to grew on me - I can't explain why I love your depiction of Reptile so much because he is not even a central character in the story, I just do. Every MK character is described in a way that is true to their original counterparts - their actions make sense.

Norah is a great lead because she mostly reacts to conflict like a real person would - anger, a sense of betrayal, stubborness...In most of the fanfictions I've read, the female lead will be angry for just two paragraphs about some awful injustice that would warrant months of resentment while Norah rightfully continues to distrust Erron in every chapter so far.

The slow development of their relationship with each other and the smooth transition from hatred to civility was a pleasant surprise for me both times I read this story. It feels like a natural development.

I think you have found something special with this story, the vibe of the world you built and the characters in it are taking on a life of their own.
I feel like the MK universe is just a springboard for this great story to take form and I have a feeling it will morph into something bigger.

Anyways I don't really have much constructive criticism. Spelling mistakes are easily fixed and nbd, some repetitive phrases even started to feel like their own writing quirks to me.

I hope we get to see more dialogue between Norah and Erron because I think you're good at writing the complex dynamic between them.
I'm also screaming internally at Black to go after Norah and tell her the truth because she has suffered enough and deserves to know goddammit.

I'd even read an entire 50 chapter spinoff story about Reptile scoffing at everyone around him because I know you'd pull it off.
kumulonimbus chapter 27 . 7/26/2019
It’s so good to read you again! I missed this story so much I was so glad when I saw you had updated! It’s the magic of a new MK, and a renewed cowboy (he’s taken a bath, looking good so far) and, of course, the comings and goings in our lives that sometimes allow us to devote some of our time to our stories. Anyway, I’m immensely happy that you’re back, and I wish everything’s alright with you and your loved ones – I am such a lousy friend, I know, but life has been sorta messy this side of the Equator as well (and I know that doesn’t even begin to justify me, but that’s all I got)

Now, to the review! After reading this chapter I went back and reread some of the chapters in this arc and I’m so pained to see this little boy, struggling with topics that should belong in adulthood, trying his best to stay afloat in a sense of innocence (the typical innocence that should encompass someone his age) that has forsaken him eons ago. Every time he tries to push Abraham towards a dark place, he changes his mind and ends up doing the right thing – in part because he realizes the man is his protector and also because he can see that after so long, and after so much, he can’t afford to lose the last source of trust and company he has. Every time he stops and reconsiders, he steps further into a territory that should belong to the adults but he somehow finds himself deliberating and planning like someone much, much older than he is. In a way, this is a primal approximation to the mind of the Erron Black we know from the games; a calculative mind that resorts to reasoning as a means to survive because skill alone is only going to get him so far.

I thought Sallie was not going to die, and it pains me to see her go, she had so much potential but I guess her early departure will affect our boy in ways we can only imagine and, perhaps, her death will provide him with a new perspective on life, on justice and on the importance of being able to trust others, to rely on someone.

I haven’t read your latest chapter yet, but I hope it doesn’t take me another two months to review your splendid work. Again, I’m so glad you’re back, you were really, really missed.
Westcoast Witchdoctor chapter 28 . 7/15/2019
Chaeomi got that bad juju! I don't trust her! However it was ingenious possessing Ferra and Torr.

Keep digging your grave Huley!
Poe's Daughter chapter 27 . 6/18/2019
Eek, I forgot to review this :p My bad. But yay! You're back! Good to see you! I fully understand the whole writer's block thing - after my mom died, I didn't want to write for ages, it seemed. So no worries. I'm just glad the new MK game helped undo your block :)

Anyway, I'm sad to see Sallie's end, but I sensed that's where it was going for a while. I feel bad for Aaron, who's trying so hard to be a young kid coming to grasp with very adult problems and feelings. His desire to protect Abraham from becoming "the soldier" again is very sophisticated - dare I say, angelic? But then, he turns around and his motives are far from pure. It's a very interesting dichotomy, that's for sure!

I was sitting here, re-reading this, and I couldn't help but notice that you write introspection and internal dialogue very well. It's definitely up there with Lumie's, and it makes me sigh because I am sooo not good at that. But yes, I frequently found myself saying, "Goddamn, that's deep." So that's something that I enjoy with your stories.

I've been wanting to go back and re-read your story in its entirety anyway, simply because I feel like I've forgotten quite a bit since I've last read it. Now that you said you're editing it, I definitely need to.

Good job, and as always, I look forward to your update :)
Guest chapter 27 . 6/13/2019
Erron not Aaron! LOL
Tarkatan chapter 27 . 6/11/2019
Am I seeing this right? You actually updated? Haha in all seriousness I'm super glad you came back to this. Even though it felt agonizing waiting for the next chapter your health is what matter most, so don't feel guilty for not updating girl. It seems like you had A LOT going on in your life. I sincerely hope you're doing better and wish for good things to come.
Back to the story, I wish NRS took a page from your Erron Black because they honestly fucced up with him in MK11. I can't WAIT for my girl Norah to appear again boi when tell you how much I missed that queen.
I'm so looking forward to the next chapter hopefully I'm not a skeleton by then :p jk
Guest chapter 27 . 6/10/2019
I just wanna say I really hate erron black in mk11 he use to be so badass but now he's like a mix between mccree and Johnny cage :/. On another note though this story by far has the most accurate portrayal of him I've seen
Westcoast Witchdoctor chapter 27 . 6/10/2019
No Stress Helly!

Glad to hear you're doing better homegirl.

Loved this chappie!

Abe is a ray of sunshine as always...baby boy Aaron poor lad is burdened with so much at a young age.

Great stuff!
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