Despite unfinished, this story is pretty awesome in terms of jokes, character transmission and things like that. The sole fact that you're going to create a whole route for Touka sets admiration for you. English is not my native language either, but I found yours relatively easy to read and understand, even though there are obvious grammar and orphography mistakes. I'm counting on this story and I wish you success with your VN!
TrueShadow97 from DeviantArt.

I really like your story! I'm looking forward the next chapter!
I also can't wait to see how they will adapt the VN into animation :)

I still wonder why you decided to turn this into a fanfiction instead of releasing a beta of your VN but oh well.

The characters sometimes acted a little OOC, but it's still at the tolerable level.

There's not much drama so far, making it hard to comment on the story.

Will be waiting for next chapter. Or the beta of the VN.