Sup! I like the colourful vocabs, it's the thing I noticed first, thanks for educating us all the while crushing our hearts (it's a good thing I'm kind of up-to-date with the manga). You portrayed Hiyori's disoriented mind greatly, I could see the desperation pretty well, nice! Oh, and no, it's awesome that you stick to the fact that Hiyori was probably mindless and, yup, a good job has been done

I cried a little when i read the Yato's part (especially when you mentioned Sakura) and how you captured the confused and depressed Hiyori thoughts. Love it! Great work! :""")))) *wipe my tears away*

*clap clap* i've waited for this. :) it's not as good as you other works but i like yato's side better :) i really felt sad and depressed again as i read yato's part /3 . Pls. My heartstrings. He was desperate. :((

Hiyori's was going in circles but as you've said she was already deranged so it totally makes sense.

All in all i really think you perfectly portrayed their thoughts with regarding to their characters. Bravo! You really have a knack for this. Tbh.

Can't wait if you right another one ! 3