Man, I really hope Harry rips them a new one. How could they be so stupid as to go out and save the unicorn they KNEW was being hunted by Quirrelmort. They destroyed like a billion plans and have now pushed Harry into a corner with Voldermort

7/10 pretty good. Superb world-building and interpersonal drama. Excellent foreshadowing and progression. Decent characters

But.

I think this story has some major problems, one's which inherently come with the type of story it is. Namely: Harem, Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived, and Azkaban.

The first is what it is, so I'll not tarry overlong on the subject; most of the cast feels superfluous even as you seek to find purpose for all, but interestingly enough the one who suffers most from this is Harry who feels somewhat like a non-character due to how rarely he is in the focus. This ties in with the other two problems.

WBWL stories in general have the problem of Harry usually just being a Harry-in-name-only and having he WBWL being a caricature based on canon Harry. It's something of a narrative switcharoo, where the readers are tricked into accepting an OC as Harry and all of Harry being castigated under another name. This is especially apparent due to how little you focus on Harry and how much you do focus on John; I rather prefer John as a character here over Harry. He is the underdog, he is the one who suffered(in the narrative, see: Azkaban below), he is the one struggling with things.

Lastly, Azkaban. This is oft used as a justification for Harry to do things, as I feel it is used here. Harry spent 10 years in Azkaban, so he's allowed to be a little gray, he's allowed to have a harem, he's given a divine mandate and moral imperative by Fate and Death(!) to do what he does. Narratively this should make sense; a balancing of accounts as it were. But you cheated, very much in the same sense in the story it is warned against cheating rituals. WE the READERS did not witness Harry suffering in Azkaban and beyond, we are merely informed of it, therefore it is not actually all that REAL in the story. For this reason, I think the story was at its strongest when it focused on this suffering in some form; Harry's flashback, phobia, struggles to move forward etc. But it's still immensely disproportionally used. So when combined with the points of view of other characters, usually suffering as a consequence of Harry's actions(somewhere up the chain of events), it does not feel like they deserve it and Harry's triumph is to be celebrated. Rather it feels like a villain's victory before the plucky hero gets their chance.

I don't like "Harry" here. He's not very admirable and he's only vaguely interesting in the sense that he is causing change. This change often being the suffering of others. While you had other, larger threats like Voldemort and Dumbledore it felt proportional and somewhat justified. But with them all-but out of the picture... Not so much.

Take Luna. In my decades of reading Harry Potter and its fanfics, I have never once disliked Luna. In fact I quite adore her(with a slight preference for the movie's more serene intepretation) and while some harem fanfics(worse than yours, by far) have managed to make me question why she would do something, it's only been in this fic that I found myself very much angered by her, when she in the recent chapters spoke to Draco. She came off much too vicious and callous and it's throwing me for a loop, is the best way I can put it.

Honestly, at this point I'm (if I'll be willing to pick it up in the future again at some point, something I rather doubt, since I read this whole thing in two days just now) I will be rooting for Voldemort, if we consider my above complaints. We've seen very little of him, but he worked hard to get what he did, suffered and made (MANY) mistakes some with immense and painful(for him) consequences, yet achieved great things, to the point where half of the things happening now are standing on his gigantic shoulders! Throw in the fact that Fate and Death themselves are interfering and fighting against him and he's without a doubt the true underdog in this story.

Because honestly, your Tom Riddle is one cool motherfucker. Anyhow, thanks for the read, I did enjoy it.

Amazing fanfic, I am literally astounded by the quality of work that the author has put into this. Please keep writing and keep up the amazing work.

Whops... There’s a misspelling hiding that somehow I’ve missed the 3 times I’ve been through this story! Great work, keep it up.

Amazing chapter

Something I'm curious about, actually. If Harry is the Chosen One, fated Boy-Who-Lived why DID Fate and Death approach John first for a trip back in time, and not Harry. Seems very scummy of them and quite hypocritical.

an entire chapter without harry in it. I'm sorry but that was boring

The Gay Lord... heh

Really love your work, please update soon.

would have liked this more without the damn drug running shit

wtf is this Harry Potter the great Drug Lord.

this virgo is funny lol

1 chap was meh

Would think with all his drug running he would have a gun, putting a bullet between Dumbdlore eyes would solve a LOT of the problems he would encounter and a force working against him, so would taking out his brother too. But then there wound be less drama for the story, realistically if this was real then killing them both would be the best thing to do with Dumbledore doing all he can to keep Harry from fulfilling the Prophecy at any cost and thru any means nescarry plus his brother who also is a time traveler and will not only work against him but also risk major exposure. Both Dumbledore and John are enemies of Harry and to dangerous to his mission to let them live.

Umm, couldn't Fate and Death went all Back to the Future 2 and loaded Harry up with sports statistics including horse race's then all he had to do was some multiple mid-lvl bets at multiple places using a few fake persona's, then money would never be a problem.