Continious pleade

Continue please I desire more

noice.

Winter you weeb I love it

Not that I really mind much, but I feel you make your oc's too powerful, like I said I don't mind too much but it is a bit annoying

YOU'RE OC's piss me off. Fenris and Ferris. They piss me off and detract from the story.

Gotta be honest, your OC's detract my enjoyment from your story a huge amount.

If they were just randomly had cameos or were referenced then it'd be fine, if they were total assholes then it'd be funny, but you've made it a strict point to centre a fair amount of the story around them and have Ozpin, one of the most renowned Hunter's and Headmaster to THE hunter school, comment on how powerful they are as well has adding in refrences to how much they're holding back.

It feels like your OC's have been in the story more than the supposed focus of your story, because if they're not commenting on how powerful they are, then they're causing trouble and if they're not causing trouble they're talking and if they're not talking then someone else is circle-jerking them and if not that then we finally get the focus of the story.

Everyone likes them, they're good looking, super powerful, have common interests with the main cast and can take down Pyrrha Nikos, a champion, in one punch while also retaining the ability to somehow interlude in the only reason people came to read the story in the first place.

Your OC's feel like Jar-Jar Binks if he was made into a Jedi that was on par with Mace Windu.

I get that it's obviously not a serious story and that there's only 6 chapters, but I really don't want to read about your borderline Mary-Sue OC's when they ta,e up a large portion of your story so far, I'm half expecting one of the main cast to get a crush on one of them just so you can justify future scenes with them, or you to have Jaune be trained by them.

Could I be less of an asshole about telling you? I suppose, but I wasn't even gonna mention it until that "20%" comment, just have them fucking take on Salem while your at it for arse-fucking Christ.

...Your Winter is a mix of Esdeath and Serafall?

Awww. So sweet.

Awesome and funny! Keep up the good work!

Wow, she's totally pulling an Esdeath here. And here I was hoping for a tourney to allow Jaune to catch her attention. Though I think Ozpin would consider that a GROSS misapplication of resources and manpower.

So I just found this story and HOMY CRAP IS IT GOOD! I'm hooked! I really like Winter showing her timid side to Jaune. That was really cute.

I did see this story came out in 2015. Hopefully it doesn't take forever to update but I am super psyched! Keep up the great work! -BMAN

Yay you're back!

I'm liking your stories so far. Hope you'll continue to write more

Wasn't paying attention, so I accidentally caught up.