I'm seeing a Professor X raven relationship.

This feels like the start of a beautiful friendship...that ends in butchering hundreds of innocents

A good start to the story :D too bad it ended so soon ;-; ill wait for this to update till the end of time

Interesting story ! Do you plan on continuing it?

Is this going to be continued?

Is this going to be like a No Game No Life thing, if you don't know what I'm talking about watch the anime

I like it and I hope to see more of the story. It has potential.

I can already tell this will be good.

When I came across this in the Fan Fiction Friday thread, I'd seen and enjoyed a bit of "tragic figure Cinder" fiction before, but never with Jaune as the male lead. Naturally, I had to click.

One major observation I made from your style is that you don't give very much information about the circumstances under which Cinder ends up in the Arc household. The most I can figure out is that the Arcs knew of this poor girl from the playground and took her in because her parents abused her. I was confused at first by this lack of information - especially since this chapter feels rather short already - but then I figured that, since Jaune is ten when this is happening, he probably doesn't know too much about what's going on, either. The low-explanation route is a good fit for this situation.

Besides that, I love how you hint at Jaune's emotional state through his actions and his thoughts rather than stating them outright. I get why you went the other way for Cinder, though: he's ten, it's dark, he might not be able to pick up on this stuff, but it's obvious enough to us readers. I don't know where exactly you're going to take this, but if/when/as they get older, perhaps lean even further towards hinting.

This is a highly promising introduction to a largely unexplored premise. I eagerly await Chapter 2.

~mewtwo15026

Interesting premise, very keen to see what Cinders inclusion to the Arc clan would shape the world. You have a strong start here, excellent pacing and more than enough to make the reader curious.

A good beginning. A small taste of the main dish is always a good lure. Doesn't mean I have to like it though. Oh well. Hope to see this updated soon, and with a long chapter too. Though that's just me wishing.

You definitely now have my attention! This little snippet is adorable and I would love to see it become a full on, multi chapter, story. I hoe to possibly see more soon! If you need any help just ask. I know both I and the reddit community will support you!

Looks interesting. I'm looking forward to how their bond will affect things during the main story time frame if this story isn't just about their time before Beacon. If things still end up similar to canon then that could result in some very interesting things since her plans are endangering the people that he and his friends have dedicated themselves to protecting.

Seem interesting, not enough fics whit jaune and cinder as main characters.

Looking forward to more of this Miles. Definitely let me know if you need any further help.