Loved this. Especially the little mermaid bit at the end. Charlie is such a treat. I wish they’d actually give poor Cas’s wings some love on the show.

Nice ending :)

Wow, this was so fascinating. I love stories featuring Castiel’s wings.
That bit at the end with The Little Mermaid was soo goood. What a great comparison, actually.
Thank you for writing!
~ Clara B

This bittersweet tag explores yet another implication that the show *should* have but unsurprisingly didn't. Thankfully, we have you to take care of all things Castiel, since the show's writers certainly don't want to.

This seems like a simple, straightforward story but once you start reading it, there's actually *layers* of sorrow. Castiel has just gotten his stolen grace back, but it's not whole, having been forced from him and then ripped apart as only the majority of it was used in Metatron's spell to cast out the angels from Heaven. With his returned grace, came his returned wings. Only they're as mangled as his grace. He can't heal them, can't fix them, can only mend them enough so they don't get worse, don't interfere with his movements or in battles. So something's he's missed for so long, he finally gets back; only it's not what it once was, all because of Metatron (I *really* hate that douchenozzle!). This is sorrowful, that something that should be a good thing is heartbreaking instead.

So Castiel goes about trying to fix them on his own: he can't ask angels for help and there's an undercurrent of tension between him and the Winchesters - specifically Dean - so he can't ask them. He's also learned that his problems, that he himself, can't hold a candle to a Winchester and is therefore "not of import." And he's probably ashamed of his wings' ratty appearance and how they're a manifestation, a reminder, of the state of his grace. Which, of course, he wouldn't want the Winchesters to see, lest they think him useless and kick him out. Which is even sadder, that he mistrusts his place in the Winchesters' lives.

He's so concerned with not making a sound despite the agony he's causing himself that he forgets about how his essence can affect electromagnetic fields ... until Charlie comes in, catching him in the act. His first reaction is to apologize for disturbing her (having thought she was asleep, as the boys were) and deciding to go outside to continue, despite the vulnerability that that entails, all so he wouldn't be a bother to this girl who fits together seamlessly with the boys. And that right there is too much sorrow, that he feels she belongs more than he does, that her well-being is worth more than his own. So he's going to go outside so she can play on her computer, as if *that's* the important thing! (I want to give the guy a frigging hug and not let go until he understands he's *not* a burden, that he's important too!)

Charlie, thankfully, pretty much says "nuts to that" and convinces Castiel to let her help, which she does. Which leads to the next layer of sorrow: "Castiel's awareness narrowed down to two things: pain and breathing through it. And the fleeting thought that perhaps it wasn't worth it to have his wings back."

Castiel eventually passes out due to the overwhelming agony and Charlie rushes to get Sam to help her, and they run into Dean on the way back. Both boys' first reaction to Charlie telling them that Castiel is hurt and needs help is anger: anger that he's hiding things, maybe even anger that he didn't go to them for help. Which kind of makes him not telling them make a whole lot more sense. Which is all so sad, that they aren't communicating so things like this have a chance to grow and fester. And, really, Castiel learned *how* to be human, how to act like a human from Sam and Dean so they have *no* frigging right to get pissy (yes, Dean, you do too get pissy!) at Cas for acting as they taught him! Do the boys accept that? No. They get angry. (I want to slap them both upside the head, maybe ram their heads together, and then go back to hugging my poor angel!)

The three humans get Castiel into a "spare" room (not his own, just an empty one, more layers of sadness there) and finish treating his wings. Cas is out for the hour it takes the boys to finish and though Charlie shows him tenderness while caring for him, his first reaction to finding out Dean (and Sam) are in the room with him, is to tense up; uncertain of how they'll react to his wings, perhaps, or bracing himself to get yelled at or maybe afraid that now they've seen the state of his wings, they'll demand he leave. All that is just heartbreaking, that he's so afraid they'll cast him out, just like the angels did and how they've both done it to him in the past in their own ways, that he wants to hide, *needs* to hide anything that might make the boys think of him as weak or a liability or inferior or no longer "useful." And how he won't even admit to pain or discomfort for the same reason ... he just wants them to never mind about his wings.

And probably the deepest layer of sorrow is Castiel identifying with "The Little Mermaid;" not the Disney version, but the gut-wrenching original fairy tale. Admitting, however obliquely, what he really feels, what he's really going through. The tiny bit of hope offered by "Cas had done so much for them, sacrificed so much. But maybe there was a chance - though Dean almost didn't dare to hope - that they could help him fly again" isn't enough to alleviate any of the sorrow of this story.

And, btw, I hate "The Little Mermaid" as much as Castiel-turned-human; I saw the Disney movie once and have yet to read the fairy tale that inspired it, though I have it (Hans Christian Andersen, if I'm not mistaken). But I *hate* those types of stories. He already gave up *everything* for the Winchesters, he shouldn't have to give up *what* he is, his *essence* for them too! Sorry ... ranting!

To me, this is a tragically sad story; I don't know if that's how you intended it, but that's what I take from it, and I've read the thing over half a dozen times now. It's still a beautiful piece and probably the one of your collection that strikes me most deeply. Thank you for sharing it!

This is absolutely beautiful, from the start to finish. I love Charlie's quick thinking. I love that Cas is finally being helped by Charlie, Dean and Sam. I love the Little Mermaid analogy. I love your take on the Metatron event. Gah! You got so many things right with Cas that I wish you were the one to write for the show. They didn't even give Cas the least amount of respecy he deserves. *sigh* Thank you! Thank you for doing Cas (and the rest of TFW) right! Your talent is a gift to me and many people out there!

Great story! I love how Charlie was in it too

Lovely story. I wondered why they didn't make a bigger deal of Cas' broken wings in the show, but I'm adding this scenario to my headcanon of what happened behind the scenes. The end with the Little Mermaid comparison was quite clever, by the way. Poor Castiel.

Oh Charlie, how I miss you. She is exactly what the Winchesters need in their life. She cuts through the emotional repression bullcrap and sees the heart of things. If she were around more there would be more talking things out and less lying/letting the devil posses you/keeping the emotions bottled up.

Sam's "Of course he was." made me laugh. It was so in character.

Cas and Charlie, they would have been one dynamic duo.

Perfect little family right there.

Damn...the ending was poetic. Fantastic work as always. Loved your Charlie interactions. Broke my heart.

I love this story! Great Cas whump, Charlie being awesome and adorable, Team Free Will...amazing!

I am an emotional mess. Dear god do I miss Charlie. Totally agree that she and Cas needed more time together. And Castiel's wings. My poor baby. It broke my heart to see his wings so damaged, even though he looked so glorious when he got his grace back.
This story is great. I love that you focused on that, because as usual the show happily skipped over it. And that it was Charlie who helped at first, noticing her laptop malfunctioning and looking for the cause in the middle of th night. Such a her thing to do. And then Sam and Dean who help. That was sweet. Heartbreaking. But sweet. You got them down perfectly. Man this story really is bittersweet. Absolutely great writing though. Keep up the good work!

Awwww. Wow great story.

Wow, this was a really great story! I love Charlie! And you did such a good job writing for her character! She added so much to the show;I think she was probably the best thing to come out of season seven. And I love her interactions with Cas here! I agree, they would've been great friends if they'd had more time together (Having not seen season ten, I'm not sure what happens to her, but I know your version is probably better). And Poor Cas needs to know that its ok to ask for help sometimes! I loved all the character interactions in this story, and the soft hopeful ending. This was awesome, great job!

Such a beautiful story! I loved it :)