Oof poor toothless

Hiccup, toothless can speak you just can’t speak dragonese

Just a thought aren’t night furies nocturnal and toothless had to be active during the day to spend time with hiccup but I don’t see why other night furies aren’t nocturnal but I get it would be inconvenient so great story

This we very entertaining I lovededefed it

This is AWESOME, that we finally hear Toothless's thoughts. He is instantly drawn to the female Nightfury as well.

solid points but brushes over too much information. Also rewrite so Eletra and (at the time of writing) unnamed hatchling are introduced together. Grammar needs a lot of work but mostly readable. expand on the time between snoggletog. if you have to, write it then separate it. make reactions more believable, work on mechanics a bit. don't chop story off this time.

yeah, that really didn't happen

When you can't even read the whole chapter—that you wrote. SERIOUS WORK NEEDED. make toothless'a interactions with vikings somewhat scarce and dragons more. rewrite hiccup "big plan" and vikings interactions with each other. Work on the grammar.

. .SNOGGLETOG. So (hehe) as a side effect of this, this chapter needs SERIOUS rewriting. Work on the grammar too.

Not too shabby, reworking the sentences and grammatical errors is the big issue here. the slowing down of events is key here, have him wait a while longer before asking, change the alpha duties to discussing with cloudjumper. Last thing is work on hiccup

*clapping.* With a few minor edits to wording and the usual grammar this chapter looks pretty darn good. i would suggest a slight change to the dragon conversation at the beginning, have the sarcastic answer be her real answer and clean up the ending a smidge.

First off, when did become morning? this chapter contains several gaping holes that need fixing. Aside from the grammar on par for the original unedited chapters, the whole situation with valka is very vague and needs to be CORRECTLY flushed out. change the way Valka repairs his saddle OR arrange it so Hiccup repairs it. mention Toothlesses weight, surely the undernourishment will affect him. less comic relief humor and more plot driven content. Toothless should mention his Alpha status in this chapter. THESE TWO DRAGONS SHOULDNT BE BUDDY BUDDY YET.

Ow. the pacing and character development seems to have waved at this chapter as it flew by. THIS NEEDS SEVERE REWORKING. Grammar isn't especially bad this time but triple check it anyways. SLOW DOWN the pacing of this chapter, this was literally cramming a potentially really great character plot point into a compacted "comfort level increase, hi? introductions and check in" this chapter could be SOOO much better. also explain in advance (like when Berk was mentioned) how Cloudjumper and Valka ended up there.

This chapter needs to be morphed with the last stand alone Hiccup chapter. Grammar needs a lot of work. The clarity and pave of the story is completely a skewed by this chapter, also Hiccup would react much differently to the blood. elaborate on this more.

Ouch. editing required. Focus on moving the story forward and without fumbling. Italicize thoughts, and reign in the reuniting scene. expand on it in a more fluid sense instead of clockwork. FIX THE GRAMMAR. rephrase areas for clarity instead of elegantly confusing text. keep the time frame either in the dark or clearly stated, not when it suites the story.