A happy story, bit this is not Hermione and definitely this is not Snape
Roses and chocolate! Please!
Well, it's ok if this is your fantasy, thank you for my dose of sugar.

Okay. Who is this guy and what has he done with Snape? That's not the potion master. That's an imposter. Really, OLDER GENTLEMAN? You know, Snape is 20 years her senior, not 200. You have to read the books not only watch the movies with this really old guy Rickman. Your writing style is ok, but the story needs revision.

This story is an interesting AU, but I find it a little too out of character (without enough justification in the why) to feel... Snapeish enough, shall we say. Snape is often quite damaged as only a man who spent his life atoning for one major mistake of his life can be. It's not to say he didn't have OTHER mistakes, but there was only one that truly mattered. He is hardly a suave sort, which would, at least in my head, make Snape a very awkward first date. Or, in contrast, perhaps setting Hermione and Severus meeting together at Hogwarts on some potions project or something so banal and normal that no one else would consider it a date, but the both of them would know better (such as sharing a few hours reading together somewhere making critical commentary mixed in with snide comments on the author's ineptitude).

After reading your Gringott's prompts, I can see that trying to tailor your story to those is probably what hampered the characterisation. Perhaps, if you were to write a story in the H/S fandom again, I would recommend having him scoff at such things rather than make it so they were included.

I have written a short example:

Snape curled his lip at the very thought of asking anyone to be his "girlfriend" and taking them out to an expensive candlelit dinner after showering them with chocolate and the obligatory dozen roses. No, that was not going to happen.

Yet, even as such thoughts oozed acidically through his brain, he saw Professor Granger frantically scribbling away at a pile of essays, her face going from approval to disgust depending on the author. She shook her head unconsciously, her hand idly combing the side of her head and getting tangled in her strangely still-bushy, and some might argue sentient, hair. Tendrils of her hair often slithered across her face so she had to blow it out of her way to read her grading. The more frustrated she became with what she was grading, the more "alive" her hair seemed to act. Her eyes would flash with a very striking shade of golden amber when she was ready to mark a very large and angry T on a paper, but somehow, she always, very carefully, wrote a delicate and neat T and about one foot of reasoning on why the essay did not meet expectation and what they could do to fix it.

Oddly enough, he found it somewhat amusing, though he'd never admit it. Some things about Professor Granger had never changed.

"Tea?" he asked, pouring himself a cup from his old and well abused tea service. It had been his mother's so very long ago, and it was one of the few things she had insisted on giving him that he used every day. Ocean blue swirls of ceramic glaze mixed with a black so deep it appeared like ebony.

"Please," Granger answered with a grateful sigh.

Without a word, he poured the tea, plunked in 2.5 sugar cubes, and added a splash of milk. He placed it beside her, and within a few seconds the tea disappeared. Severus' eyebrow raised. The essay must have been really horrid.

"Bless you," she muttered, rubbing her temples. "Thank you, Professor Snape."

Over a year had passed with them as colleagues, and she had always deferred to him by his title, perhaps afraid to call him anything else. Maybe, however, it was her own sign of respect. He wasn't sure. He was never sure what to make of her. No matter how much he attempted to get a rise out of her and prove she was just as shallow and irritating as the rest of the people he knew, she would always square her chin, tilt her head just so, and call him Professor Snape.

"Severus," he said, immediately kicking himself for just blurting out his name like some first meeting out in the Muggle World. A part of him, however, wanted to hear her say his name.

"Hermione," she answered, not skipping a beat.

Touché, he thought to himself. He hadn't called her anything but Professor Granger, Granger, or "Psssgah, that witch" since she had taken up the Transfiguration position.

"There is a Potions conference being held in Bristol this weekend," Snape said with his normally dry demeanour. "It promises to be utterly boring and have speakers that can't tell the difference between mugwart and mistletoe. I am permitted one guest if you would like to inflict yourself upon the imbeciles personally."

"I would be honoured, Severus," Hermione answered, tapping her quill to the side of her face before scrawling something long-winded on the parchment.

Severus blinked. She actually—?

Professor Granger looked up at him, her brown eyes amused. "I tend to specialise in inflicting my company on those who desire otherwise."

Snape swallowed hard. Perhaps not so otherwise in his case, anymore. He tilted his chin stiffly. "I suppose I will meet you in front of Hogwarts Saturday morning at eight, P—Hermione."

Hermione's finger tapped on the edge of the now-empty tea cup. A small, warm smile turned her lips and filled her eyes. "I suppose you will." She turned back down to her grading, quill working furiously.

Silently, he refilled her tea and his own before sitting down to grade his own papers.

"Thank you, for asking," she said a few minutes later, her eyes flicking up over her quill to regard him.

Severus was suddenly keenly aware of his very aquiline nose, pale skin, and the fact that hair had been absorbing the fumes of the burn ointment he had been making for Poppy Pomfrey. He swallowed hard. "It's nothing," he replied, turning back to his parchments.

Unbeknownst to him, Professor Granger's smile spread across her face as she delicately wrote an ornate "O" at the top of her most current essay parchment.

-o-o-o-o-

It's not to say that what you have written is badly written at all. It is a coherent scene that is crafted as a first date; however, I struggle to see it as in character for Snape going out on a first date with anyone. I realise, too, we all have different ideas of what our characters do (even when we borrow them from JKR on timeshare), but I think in this case I am correct in saying Snape was significantly out of character in this story.

Please do not take this review as an insult, as it is not meant as such. I merely wish to offer recommendations on what I think would help in the portrayal of two of my favourite characters. We all have different ways of going about it. I happen to like turning Hermione into an otter and inflicting her on the dour and snarky Potions Master. It's probably not the first thing most people think of when thinking Snape with Hermione.

Best wishes on your continued writing.

So cute and fun! Second date sequel?!

I definitely ship SSHG, basically exclusively in the HP universe. So it's nice to see that, as usual. I can't help but think, 'Well, that escalated quickly,' from just passing each other on the street, though haha. That can work if you've known someone as a friend and equal for a long time, but it's a whole new thing with them, and I just felt it was a bit forced.

My battery is dying so I just wanted to say that I lived it.

That was cute :)