To be honest this is a bit creepy to read

Alright. Jim, get the napalm. Hans, the mustard gas and Thomas the Bofors.
*FBI BREAKS DOWN DOOR*

Ever considered a Glynda or Salem chapter?

Whilst I like this I really wanna see an omake where the cops show up and arrest Jaune where it ends in either a) he is locked up and called a pedo by disbelievers of him or b) he is released after the true age of whichever smol girl is revealed

Seriously mate you must update this fic

I don't care if i am tached as pervert, this story is good, i am waiting anssiusly for the next chapter. Thank you, until the next chapter, perhaps you can add Glynda and Kali, if possible of course.

just ignore them
when they spam don't pm them back because they will spread your pms around
they crave attention and drama

Don't listen to Critics United. The simple fact is that Critics United is the ISIS of FanFiction. They are terroristic bullies who think they have a right to tell others what they should and should not write. And don't be fooled by what they say. They are NOT the administrators of FanFiction. Ignore Critics United and anybody connected to them.

Just to make you aware, parts of this story contains sexually explicit material, meaning it really should be rated MA. MA-rated content has not been permitted on this site since 2012, and therefore this story violates the Terms of Service we all agreed to when we first signed up. Not saying you can't write it, but saying that this is just not the place for it. There are plenty of other sites that would gladly take it, including but not limited to AdultFanFiction, DeviantArt, and AO3. You could also write a watered-down version that does not involve explicit scenes to keep this kosher with the site rules. Take all these suggestions into consideration as they will help you avoid ToS issues in the future. Please understand, I say what I say in the spirit of what this site is about; making good stories great, if not brilliant.

Best,
Zad
Critics United

Your story contain explicit sexual content such content is above the M rating, as such is no appropriated to this site, as only allow M content and currently your story is a violation of the rules and guideline.
Sites like Archive of our Own and Adult Fan fiction are better suited for this story as they allow the MA rating one that your story belong in the current moment.
Please edit your story to remove the MA content to fit in the site rules as in it's current state a report would probably made the administrators remove it without warning.

Blake is grumpy cat

This was
a great chapter.

Please keep up the great work.

Loli is life! Flat is Justice!

10/10

Oh god this is so BORING!

You two are trying to make a lemon story and are failing bad at it. This should be a set of one shots instead of a full blown story.