Lol XD poor Saki

Love this concept! There are so few Hidan fics, and this is already done extremely welllooking forward to your next update!

This story has a lot of potential and I'm liking the dynamics between Saki and Hidan. Keep up the good work.

Fantastic story! Awesome quality!
You've done a great job here, very well structured. The first chapter was damn intense, I'm amazed how you managed to portray it.

I was intrigued at whether this story was done, some authors just take their time or their abandon stories (I fall into the first category, damn near a year for me to update one story, looking about a new and a half for another one I'm currently writing the chapter, been too long so I'm getting it out. Motivation is a source of struggle at times.)

When I saw your profile, my heart broke. I hope you are doing alright, I don't know what illness you are currently fighting but I hope you are pulling through alright.

Hope you have a good day!

This is really fantastic, but it seems to be discontinued a real shame. A fantastic read nonetheless.

-Nanami

Holy crap! This is friggin' amazing!

-Nanami

it's been six days since i added this fic to my story alerts and i almost forgot to review :c
saki's ability is interesting! i'm used to reading about immortals who can't die, so it's refreshing to read about one who can't stay dead. i like that you went back and showed her first meeting with hidan. i don't know if i ever had an idea of what hidan as a child would be like, but now this is it! it's cute that saki was the one to give hidan his bad habit of swearing. i wonder what happened between saki and hidan that made their relationship change into what it is now (hidan's almost-but-not-quite loathing of saki, and her staying by his side despite it). i may be wrong, but did jashin have anything to do with it?
in this chapter, i especially enjoyed reading the moment between saki and ayaka. it would probably be both extremely relieving and disturbing to see your daughter resurrect from the dead, so i admire ayaka's tenacity and how she shuts down people like chiaki who probably thinks saki is a demon child. there's a ton of si fics where the parents abandon their child because they're weird as fuck, and while i don't mind reading those fics and find that situation fairly realistic (i doubt an adult would be able to portray a child very well unless they're acting 24/7) it's very refreshing to see a parent of an si oc go "she's my daughter, and i love her even if she's weird as hell"

This made me smile a lot.
I've always liked Hidan for some unfathomable reason. He makes me laugh. (Probably because my head isn't screwed on straight). And the addition of the mild mannered Saki just makes the Hidan dynamic funnier. The preview promises the next installment to be hilarious and horrifying - which sums up Hidan pretty well, I think.

One edit I would tentatively recommend for the future excerpt is a subtle word choice difference. I think what might convey Saki's mortal terror better is the usage of "squeak out" instead of "get out" in the line '"We're so screwed," is all she managed to get out.' Although "get out" is a better choice if you're trying to further emphasize the seriousness of the situation and present it in a more sobering light. It's all up to what you're going for in that scene. Personally, I always go for the morbidly comical side of things, which has the neat affect of keeping my narrative fairly lighthearted despite the dark subject matter. (You've done a wonderful job of this so far). But, as always, it's entirely up to you!

Hope your health allows you to continue posting this story, though you know me - I'd never blame you if you didn't!

Best wishes,
-Ash

I realize it's been a while since this was updated, but I'm intrigued. Of course I've toyed with my own ideas of what would happen if Hidan were to be confronted with another immortal, but the way you've written so far is a healthy mix of dark, funny, and adorable. Maybe even a little bit sexy. So I'm curious what plans you had for this. I hope you're able to work on it at some point.

Oh my gosh, this is just so good, and so so fascinating! First off, let me say that I really liked the formatting and how you broke it up into parts. I really enjoyed the first section. It was interesting and definitely served well to catch readers' attention. I enjoyed the little hints we got to Saki's character, and the sass we got to see. Considering the much darker tones of the previous chapter, it was nice to get a chance to see another side of her, what she was like before whatever happened with Hidan to turn their relationship into such a painful mess. I also very much enjoyed seeing things from her mother's point of view. You got across the grief and the wonder of motherhood that Ayaka must have been feeling so well! It's such an interesting thought, that her "first" death was at the hands of ninja weapons. It's not something I'd ever considered before, but it actually makes sense that a lot of kids would get into any dangerous things that their assassin parents might leave lying around the house, and there would probably be a lot of kids either dying or experiencing their first real injury that way. I have to wonder how many first time shinobi parents lose their firstborns because they aren't used to having to childproof their lifestyles yet. Lol. Anyways, I love that Ayaka is a jounin, and stayed a shinobi, unlike every other canon Naruto mother that we ever see. Though it was a small part of the chapter, it made me smile to see that. Experiencing Saki's death through the eyes of her mother was so sad, yet also so interesting. It's a fascinating thing, to know what's going on with this child, yet to see it through the eyes of her mother, who doesn't. It's almost bittersweet, seeing how Ayaka loves her child but knows that there's something off about her and is willing to pretend she doesn't in order to go on living this life with her. Those hints of Saki's awareness and her own doubts about whether her parents would still love her if they *knew* in that section were both heartbreaking and intriguing.
"It's important to note her utter normalcy." I LOVE this line, and this section in general. It brings something so special to Lucy. The fact that, yes, she was totally normal, but she was also *someone* and she had a life and a family. The part in the following section where she decided that she had to say goodbye to her mom and embrace her new life was so sad. I think my heart is bleeding a little bit. :(
I like the bits where she's reacting like someone from our world would, like being incredulous/displeased with the color of her hair and being glad that she was born in a village that was out of the way and not really apart of canon, and hoping that there wasn't actually any canon at all and that she would be able to live her life as her own. It's very interesting, and also pretty painful, knowing that she's going to suffer so much in the future thanks, in large part, to a canon character. “First, she wants to start with saving herself and her family.” I loved that line, as well.
I really enjoyed how you showed the same scene from two points of view. It gave some clarity to her act as the good daughter, and her feelings about her mother and her life in general. It cracked me up that she feels like a living wedding cake and basically hated everything her mother dresses her in, but went along with it anyways. (Of COURSE that's how she's dressed when she meets Hidan the first time.)
As always, your imagery is so vividly beautiful. I particularly enjoyed the part about her stopping to look at a peony, stroking the petals and thinking about her father's hair and her life and canon happenings, as well as the little hint as to when, exactly, we are on the timeline.
BUT OH MY GOSH. LITTLE HIDAN BEING A LITTLE ASSHOLE DORK WHO THINKS HE'S SO COOL. I can so 100% see that of him. I was rolling throughout pretty much that entire section. His interactions with her are great, and I can see how it can devolve and turn into the horrific mess that their relationship becomes in the future. I'm very interested in seeing how, exactly, that develops. AND SAKI INTRODUCING HIM TO HIS FIRST CUSS WORDS. GOLDEN. WONDERFUL. It was great!
I enjoyed the hints and foreshadowing you included for the future. (“unknowingly changing the entire course of her long, long life.” was one of my favorite lines. It gave me chills!) I'm very very excited to see where you'll take this story, if you end up continuing it. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it, and for sharing it. It's very good, and you are a talented author.
(Also, I really enjoyed the peek into the future that you added! It was at once hilarious and intriguing, definitely making me look forward to that particular future meeting!)

Continue this! I can't wait to read more :)

Oh wow, this is stunningly beautiful. I love all the imagery you've used. It's like your words are painting vivid, beautiful (if bloody) pictures in my mind. From the very first line, you had me captivated. I love how you started out with these beautiful, almost flowery, descriptors and then suddenly it's horrific and captivating. It's so cool to see it do this 180 from what I thought the tone might be to something that was so bloody and pain-filled without losing any of that beauty. I'm already very interested in Saki and what is going on with her. It was cool to see the hints at Hidan and Saki's past and what they might have once been, and I definitely look forward to learning more about it in the future! Seeing the same scene from both character's perspectives was a real treat. It gave readers a really fascinating insight into their minds as well as some very good characterization and relationship building. I don't think I've ever seen someone characterize Hidan quite like you do, and I'm really enjoying it so far! Your approach to Jashinism is super cool, too! Saki's apathy is at once hilarious and horrifying, and I'm very curious to see how she is going to be further developed. There is just so much I want to say about this, and so many things that blew me away, but I'll leave it at this tonight! I very much look forward to reading, being horrified by, and enjoying the rest of your work! Thank you so much for sharing it!

Ohhh another good storie like where this is going!

Already reviewed on chapter two, so I can't review there.

SCREW FERRIDAN honestly his review makes no sense and he doesn't deserve to read this fic at all and he DEFINITELY DOESNT DEESRVE TO GIVE WANNABE CRIT ON IT

fuck this guy.

I don't know if you're buying into the review from Ferradin, but if you are, don't. His review is clearly a poorly done flame. He has no idea what he's talking about. It seems like he's been a dick to quite a number of people lately.

I don't know if you remember me, but I support you. Ferradin can't treat you like shit and I certainly won't put up with it.