Ive decided to re-read this before starting Hes Still My Brother, yep, that's right, it's so good it bears re-reading! Keep up the good work, you're making so many of us happy

Chuck is so right

I can't believe you killed Dean omg! I was waiting for a last minute dodging the bullet kinda thing but nope, he's dead just like that. But sad at the fact that he killed himself so he can get rid of the demon who is after Sam only for another demon to finish the job once he's gone. I hate Ruby so much there aren't even words :D But all in all, thank you so much for this story. It was an amazing journey :)

You couldn’t be more right that endings are hard (very appropriate use of that Chuck quote, by the way), yet clearly it’s a challenge you’re more than able to rise up and meet head on, because this was a solid ending for sure. Yes, I know there are plenty of things here that leave us readers wanting more and wondering about the future for these characters, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good ending. If anything, it makes it an even better one, because it means you kept your readers so invested that they crave more even at the very end! Lol I think I mentioned this to you maybe once. Or twice. Or a billion and seven times, I don’t know… But I’ll reiterate just in case: This story to me read like its own little season. The overarching plot was Azazel and his plan, but other plots arose throughout. Jessica’s spirit, the growing friendship with Bobby, Meg, Brady, Dean’s torture, Mary’s mystery deal, etc… And of course the entire time you kept a main focus on Sam and Dean and their brotherly relationship ups and downs, just like should always be the case in any Supernatural story. Then it all came together in this final showdown to resolve the Azazel plot that had been the main thing, all while setting up for potential future plots. This last chapter (along with the one right before it) definitely came off like a powerful season finale to the season your AU story created, and that’s awesome. I mean really, you get twenty gold stars for really crafting a story that felt season-esque, and ended season finale strong. But of course there’s always more specific matters to attend to with every chapter you write of anything, because you’re writing begs for attention to be paid to its multitudinous and magnificent details. How about I get started, yeah?

First, this:

“ ‘DEAN!’
The body jolted and buzzed with a strange electricity. ”

I loved the contrast in Sam’s mind between “DEAN” and “the body”. As if even as he’s watching his big brother dying, he can’t accept it. “the body” is dying, not “Dean”. “Dean” he can still scream out to, hope to save, somehow reach. At least, that’s what his brain immediately wants to believe in lieu of the darker, far more painful truth that “the body” is actually Dean’s. I just thought that was really true to human emotion, and the way our brains work in the face of such massive grief. Denial is stage one, after all.

This was also great:

“Blood pooled in the dead grass around his skull, seeping into the ground and leaving a permanent mark.”

That was impressive imagery there. Not too graphic, but just graphic enough to hit the emotional target. Also, I loved the concept of the blood “leaving a permanent mark”. The idea that Sam is viewing the blood in terms of permanency – the ground absorbing Dean’s blood will forever hold memory of the man himself – is just so darn sad! So naturally, I loved it! lol

This:

“Sam had taken Dean gently into his arms in a bridal carry”

The fact that even though his foot is all jacked up, and even though Dean is a full grown six foot one man, Sam will still “gently” lift him, proves how devastating the loss of his big brother was for Sam. Dean is flat-out dead, but Sam will still be “gentle”, even when it causes himself more pain, because again he can’t fully process Dean has died. It’s true again to psychology and true to Sam and very feels-kicking all-around. ;)

This description of Sam:

“Sam swallowed and his red swollen eyes met his friend’s. There was a fire in them that the man hadn’t seen before.”

Yup. That’s spot-on for a grieving, determined Winchester. Especially Sam. He is so often filled with anger post-loss of Dean. Sam tends to shut down every part of himself that isn’t dedicated to grieving for Dean while finding a way to reverse whatever happened (and to hold whoever was responsible for Dean’s death accountable, except in this situation when revenge has already been enacted). Anyway, I certainly felt the burning determination rolling off of Sam from your description, so nice work! Seeing Sam remove skeletons from their burial places to make room for his mother and brother was also sad, but again stayed so true to the one-track-mind person Sam becomes in the wake of losing Dean. It reminded me a lot of Sam during “Mystery Spot” after that first Wednesday, when the man goes off on a six-month mission alone to stop at nothing until the Trickster was located again. Here, Sam shows that same commitment to doing whatever he needs to do. He sees his family needs to be buried, and instead of burying them without coffins (I’m guessing because he wanted to preserve the remains as long as possible, and less bugs can get into a coffin as quickly?), he readily steals the resting places of the long-dead. No qualms about it.

Poor Bobby, having Sam walk off from him like that and then not being able to track him back down. Again very true to Sam. We saw him leave Bobby like this in canon (between seasons 3 and 4). But still, my heart goes out to the older hunter just trying to look out for the young man, but being shunned.

Valerie got possessed by Meg! I called it! The moment the story turned to the Flores’ driving with the Harvelle’s, I was like “I bet Valerie is possessed, and probably by Meg”. I’m proud of myself for having made that deduction. Lol The “Swell” line most definitely marked the demon as being Meg, which was really cool. And I like the idea that Meg got away, and is still a threat out there. It leaves a sense of foreboding I can appreciate.

I can’t say I was as clever about Ruby, though that was probably he way more obvious one. Lol I totally was thinking the whole time “who’s this convenient blonde driving through the middle of nowhere when a bunch of demons just had a major battle and escaped from Hell?” and yet I never thought to consider Ruby as a possibility until you explicitly proved it was her. I feel pretty slow, now. I really should’ve guessed, especially because it makes such perfect sense for her to be the one to link up with Sam. But alas, see this is why you’re the Sherlock and I’m the Watson. Haha!

Excellent final chapter to an equally excellent story. I’m so happy you wrote this one. I remember ages and ages ago when you first mentioned to me you were considering writing this AU, and now here you are, having completed it and what an amazing story it turned out to be! I’ve enjoyed every chapter, and while I know you really might not get to write the sequel, if ever you do I’d be supremely interested in reading it. After all, this season finale of your AU was great, and left plenty of potential for a season 2. ;) Seriously though, either way, this was awesome and you deserve to be proud of it and yourself for writing it! so yeah, endings are hard… But not for skilled authors such as yourself. Congrats on this achievement, and here’s to whatever you write next!

THE CLIFFHANGER! I see why this is open for a sequel. I really hope a sequel eventually happens because I feel like the story has so much it could do. But if the sequel never happens this was still a really good story! The ending was full of heart but also danger. Valerie is now possessed and with the Harvelles? Ruby found Sam? Sam left Bobby? SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED! It was great. But most of all I'm still sad Dean and Mary died. Sam burying them in the coffins of other dead people made me even more sad. It kind of showed how much they meant to him. He'd desecrate graves to give them better ones. I hope if the sequel does happen we see them again. This story was done well and I loved reading it. Thank you for all the chapters and for finishing it!

Well I'm in tears. This has been an amazing ride! I have loved every minute of this fic! I can't believe it's over. :( I really hope you get to write the sequel! Can't wait to see what's up next!

Oh Chuck... of course it's Ruby... oh Well, he's a Winchester... he'll make it. Thanks for an awesom fic! Love from Holland

Wwo. I expected one death (Mary) but, not Dean too. (That is, if he's dead. LOL) Real intense chapter, more as soon as you are able please.

This is certainly the very most emotional chapter you’ve come out with so far in this story, and not-so-coincidentally, it’s one of the very best as well. The bone-deep sorrow I felt by the last line of this story was impressive. I mean really, I want you to take a moment to appreciate what you achieved here. With just words – words you selected and strung together and crafted into what they became – you managed to cause readers like myself to really /feel/. Yes, yes, I know that’s what writing is all about. But on the other hand… THAT’S WHAT WRITING IS ALL ABOUT! And you do such a beautiful, magnificent job of that, as is evidenced by this amazing chapter (and many other amazing things you’ve written that I won’t get into here). So please, just take a step back from yourself and applaud the way you created a scene that struck right to the heart of those who read it, and the way you did that all with your clever mind. YOU picked the words. YOU put them together. YOU decided the story they would tell. YOU are the excellent author responsible for this fantastic chapter, story, and all the fanfic you’ve written. So yeah, I hope you’re letting it sink in just how cool it is that you’ve accomplished such a damn good example of damn good writing, and have proven that you are in fact, a highly talented writer. ;) But aside from that whole rant about how proud you deserve to be of your writing abilities, I think you also deserve to hear about the specific moments from this chapter which stood out to me above the rest. So without further ado, off I pop! ;)

First, there was this:

“He twisted his hostage’s features from genuine annoyance to bored and negligent.”

I really loved your use of the word “hostage’s” there. You were extremely good about emphasizing the distinction between demon and Dean here, by consistently reminding your readers that Yellow Eyes was an entirely separate entity /possessing/ Dean. I mean yeah, we all know what possession is. We all get the idea. But somehow seeing you attend to the concept so well through those simple little reminders, like referring to Dean’s facial expression change as the demon rearranging “his hostage’s features” really brought the reality of the situation to light on a whole new level. In my opinion, that’s a huge pile of kudos to you for managing to take something we all are so numb to thanks to Supernatural – possession – and make it feel invasive, spooky, and worrisome all over again, like it was something new again. Great job!

Next there was this:

“The demon laughed with Dean’s voice but with a sinister cruelty he’d never heard from his sibling.”

Again, way to emphasize the fact that it’s Dean’s body, but the demon calling the shots from within, using Dean’s own self as a puppet. The way you continued to remind us of this fact in little ways through wording and gesture and Sam’s interpretations of it all added SO MUCH to the moment. It made the scene genuinely creepy, the events feel more high-risk even than they already were. And of course, it showed again the kind of person Dean was. He’d never laughed with “sinister cruelty” ever. He wasn’t at all like the evil thing which now controlled him. It was good to see that Sam was bothered by the demon’s actions while wearing Dean because they felt so /un-Dean-like/. Just went to show the kind of man we already believed Dean was: good. So good job to you again for that!

I also liked this:

“Sam flinched at the gesture, not because he was surprised, but the way of which the demon laughed was done in the same manner of his actual brother. . . . He’d throw his head back and explode with laughter much like the foul monster now donning the mask of his sibling had.”

First off, you really nailed the description of the way Dean (well, Jensen really lol) laughs with his whole body, really getting into the merriment of a moment. Secondly, I like that the demon used Dean’s typical physical actions there, but with an edge that left Sam unnerved. It was so close to being Dean, but so, so far away. Nice eerie touch. ;)

This was great phrasing:

“staring up at a face that was both so familiar and so alien to him.”

Again, driving that point of ‘it’s not Dean underneath it all’ home so well. :D

This:

“You can watch as everyone you ever loved chokes on their own intestines.”

I shouldn’t laugh at that. I /really/ shouldn’t. But as you well know, my favorite Azazel quote ever from the show is the whole “I’ll make sure they live long enough to know the chewy taste of their own intestines” thing, and you really captured the essence of that dark, nasty, flippant-about-torture snark that Yellow Eyes provided with that original quote, all while putting your own spin on it to make it feel like it belonged in this AU, it wasn’t just a carbon copy of the old quote. I appreciated it, and it tickled my funny bone I guess. Let’s not judge why I laugh at such terrible things, and let’s move on instead. Lol

I of course have to compliment the creativity of Azazel’s deal with Mary, using her own assumptions against her. Letting her wrongly think she knew the stipulations of the deal without him ever having to actually outline them. He was pulling a real smooth move there, and so were you. ;)

Mary’s death was also handled really well. It was abrupt, shocking, and that just made it all the more /real/. There was no dramatic build up for that one. Azazel just took her out quick and clean and /sharp/. It somehow made her death feel all the more horrific, so my applause to you for pulling that off. Especially considering there was another major Winchester death later in the chapter, and you needed to find a way to make both of them cause an emotional response in your readers without them feeling the same – just sad and dramatic for each. You covered it by letting Mary’s be startlingly swift and Dean’s be, well… Emotionally wrecking? Painful to read beyond belief? Everything it needed to be to make readers want to cry and this story feel amazingly well done even as it ripped a whole in my heart? Yeah, those things. :) But I’ll come back to that shortly…

You get a gold star for working the title into this chapter so seamlessly, in a way that really showed what the whole story was about. It’s not just a matter of the story being about brothers, it’s more a matter of Sam realizing that no matter what he loves his big brother. He loves Dean despite their petty conflicts of the past, and he doesn’t want Dean to feel hated. THAT’S the core of it, and you covered it really well here. Just beautifully.

Dean’s reaction to seeing that “he” had killed Mary was extremely realistic, which added rawness to the emotion of the moment. I find it so easy to believe that Dean, who even in the proper show would NEVER be ok with having “killed” a family member, would, in this AU, be so disturbed by it as to be made physically ill at the sight. And of course, it helped push him towards a willingness to sacrifice himself, even if he did it mostly just to protect Sam. Having “killed” Mary certainly wasn’t /preventing/ him from pulling that trigger. :P

The HUG! Sam wanting to finally hug Dean, only for it to be entirely the wrong moment. Dean has to push him away, has to protect him. And really, when you think about it, it’s an example of “too late”. Sam is too late to ever really get the moment with Dean he has finally realized he wanted, in which he hugged his brother and they were ok again. Now the timing is all off, the chance is gone, and at the end of the day Sam is alone. HEARTBREAKINGLY TRAGIC. Also… HEARTBREAKINGLY GOOD. Lol

This line struck me as REALLY Dean:

“I’m not seeing any other options here.”

I swear I heard that clear as a bell in my head, and it stood out to me as just the /perfect/ way for Dean to, in this moment, express his determination to see through ending his life to protect Sam and save everyone.

THIS:

“It’s the only way I know I can keep you safe. . . . It’s the only way I can watch out for my little brother.”

That line devastated me, because it was just DEAN. One hundred percent. You encapsulated his selflessness, his courage, his devotion to family, and above all else, his love and dedication to Sam. But in the context of this AU, it also showed another aspect of this Dean: his belief that he had never been good enough for his brother, but at least in dying to protect him he could serve a good purpose. I got that feeling from the repetition of “the only way”, almost like he was saying “this is the only thing I’m good for”. He didn’t seem bitter about it, don’t get me wrong. Just…resigned. And still very much caring for Sam and loving Sam in spite of everything going on. UGH… It broke me. It was magnificently done.

Oh, and THIS HAPPENED:

“ ‘Take care of yourself Sammy,’ his smile didn’t reach his watery eyes. ”

I believe THAT was where I began to tear up for real. Because first of all, the expression on his face your describing is just PAINFUL. But second of all, that choice of words seemed so…precise. Like Dean wishes he could take care of Sam, but ultimately its come down to him letting go and letting Sam take care of himself. He can only give one final act of protection, sacrificing his own life to give Sam the chance to take care of his own. *wipes at eyes again*

And the haunting note you ended this chapter on, of the gunshot echoing through the cemetery, was awesome. Just like this chapter, your story, all your writing, you as a person… ;) For real, I loved this even as it took my heart and stomped it to bits. I look forward to the next chapter, sincerely.

P.S. I am so very sorry for your loss, and that the anniversary of it fell so close to a time you were having to write and post about a topic so reminiscent of it. I’m very glad you didn’t force yourself to post that day.

DEEEEEEEAANNN! I think I cried. I don't even know. I do know my heart feels like a bus smashed into it. Dean just wanted to protect Sam and Sam couldn't protect Dean. Now Sam is alone. He doesn't even have Mary! At least he got to show Dean he cared right before he lost him. They both needed to know that Sam cared that they are brothers. Those last moments were so emotional and good! That's why I'm in pain, but good job with this!

Can you be more cruel? I dare you. You killed Mary just like that!? And what a way to end a chapter! Damn. And btw, i am so sorry for your loss.

Noooooo... *cries* Of course Dean does that... *bawls out loud* That's our Dean... but, there's more, right? Oh Chuck... I can't imagine what's next... *crawls in corner with Ben & Jerry, a soft blanket and two XXL boxes of kleenex.*

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing ok. I'm praying for you. On another note, AHHHHH! AH AH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHH! Dean! AH!

OH MY GOD WHAT?! I need the next chapter right the hell now

Oh no! Dean!