I agree with the other reviewer for this as far as grammar, mechanics, layout, and related things go. However, with content and plot, I find it a very sweet, yet (currently) short story. Please continue!

I noticed that you posted the entire story as a single paragraph. Try to refrain from doing that. It makes it more difficult to read. Try to break it up into smaller sections. And if you have any spoken dialogue, keep dialogue from different characters seperated into different paragraphs. I know some people will write like...

"Hello, good sir." He said. "Thank you." She replied.

Or like,

"Hello, good sir." He said.

"Lovely day, isn't it?" He continued.

But this can get confusing. So it's better to just go like,

"Hello, good sir." He said.

"Thank you." She replied.

and

"Hello, good sir." He said. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

This will help overall improve the readability of your stories. Even if the story is short, avoid making the whole story a single paragraph.