You really did some deep fleshing out of the emotional damage both Sam and Dean were experiencing that wasn't really addressed on the show in the aftermath of Sam's wall being broken. You especially addressed how both of them felt about Cas.

I cried when they left the Penders...

And you tied it very well into the start of season 8. The only explanation for Sam not looking for Dean is that he had a breakdown and/or he thought Dean was finally in heaven and he wasn't going to pull him out from peace.

Is there another Pender story? Which one is it?

OMG, I am am sooo screwed! I know I won’t be able to put this story down until I finish it! And it is sooo long, just like I like my stories! You are an amazing writer! spnlady 09/19

I LOVE Hot Mama and Pooh Bear something fierce, and I'm excited to think that they may appear yet again. I kind of want to see Arla scold Mary for being awful in Season 12. They are the world's best people, and it's nice that people like them exist in this story-verse for Sam and Dean to run into because, well, they'd be dead if not. You certainly love to put them in peril after peril (and I love it, because I'm mean and eat-up character-torture and bro-mance.)

I love Tommy's wicked humor. He made me laugh in many a chapter. And yes, it is sad how much Sam and Dean change from Seasons 1 to 7...and then all the way on to 14. Saving the world is a thankless job and they've lost way too much along the way. Thank you for picking the story up in this season especially, because it deals with the fresh death of Bobby.

I always enjoy reading your work. Lots of great stuff in here: feels, laughs, worry. I also love the length. Long stories are my favorite! Take care!

Holy Mither of all the Gods! I seriously, seriously love you and this epic tale! You made the boys so lifelike and their problems and nightmares broke my heart. And for that I love you yet kinda hate you for breaking our Sammy so badly. Thank you!

Wow. This was awesome. Thank you so much for this deep, well-written story. And ch. 50 did add a lot! Looking forward to reading your other writings!

And now I feel like Dean was a bit of a jerk when he was upset that Sam hadn't looked for him... I don't Sam was even close to capable of looking for him with his state of mind. Hence the S8 Trials and all that inner turmoil.

I so feel for Sam :( I wish I could hug the living daylight out of him and make it all better. I wish someone did that for me too, though most of the time if I'm this upset I hate people touching me... *sigh*

this chapter (and also quite a few before) made me cry. god how much I need the words Tommy told Sam sometimes... awesome job!

So sad. But you summed it up perfectly. Even though Dean had Cas & Benny, he was alone and just thought of survival. Sam was totally alone. He actually was too fragile for his mind to handle something like this. Where was Dean? Was he in heaven with their folks? I mean, he had no clue. I never blamed him for closing in on himself, not answering the phones and quitting hunting. The Amelia thing, not so much because I couldn't stand her and I don't think Sam would have fell for her. I truly believed he was at the end of his rope and totally surprised he didn't drive the Impala over a cliff. But I do think he tried all he could to figure out where Dean was, but he had no idea he would have gone to purgatory. Which set up one of my all time favorite episodes with "Sacrifice". Thank you again for everything. In actuality you ended this just like a Supernatural episode. Just when you think everything is going good, Back in Black is going to play, they throw us a curve ball that shatters our emotions.

This was a great ending! Just a snippet in their lives when they both feel that each other is doing well and they're in sync together. Had an aww moment when Dean held the keys out to Sam. I remember that episode when Sam fell asleep and was almost hit and wanted so bad for Dean to know about it. But of course we never knew if he did or not. But now we do know! It made me nervous that they were going to break the ties to the Penders. I understand why, but it was heartbreaking. Back to business. Such a fabulous story. The time, effort and love you put in this was evident thoroughout. And I can't thank you enough. I could pay you in Dr. Pepper if it would help! Seriously, you have an extroidinary gift and I'm grateful you choose to share it with others. Love you! I'm going to take the leap and read the epilouge...

You brilliant you! I have no words. Angst and hurt/comfort like music to my ears. Or eyes. Or something. Poor Sam. And poor Dean. Aww.

This chapter showed how much of a caring soul you have. You do fix the problems these boys have and I love it! Loved everything about it. From Sam waking up and trying to decide if he should take more pills, dropping the whiskey bottle, Dean reassuring him he would fall asleep, but not really knowing, talking, then talking some more, the websites they both were reading, the "big" issue that Sam will not talk about but desperately needs to, they went running together. The Penders getting the text that settles their hearts. I too hated how S8 was handled. Especially Sam's character. I truly felt like he had no idea where Dean was. With the reasoning that he could be in heaven. But I will say, I didn't like Amelia. At all. She would have never been the type Sam would have gone for. And then not being able to decide if she should stay with Sam or go with her husband? After he had fought to get back to her, his love for her was probably the only thing that kept him alive and she couldn't decide? She was a loser and a jerk. But they did redeem S8 for me with Sacrifice. One of my top 5 episodes of all. One that will always make me cry. Loved hearing your opinions on S8!

Another jam packed chapter! FINALLY Sam's getting some much needed sleep. Honest to goodness healing sleep. At first, I was like uh oh Dean, don't do it, about getting the meds for him but when he didn't try to sneak Sam the pills, he actually told him what he had done so I was all for it. Dean also coming to the realization that they needed to quit acting like everything is fine. A major breakthrough for him. Sam had already come to that conclusion but couldn't express it to his brother. Loved them going to the movies and sleeping through it! Loved that!

Sam has been long overdue for a breakdown. And personally, I'm glad he finally did it. Of course my heart was breaking right along with Dean's, but he needed to do this. Had a feeling that it was building up during the sparring in the warehouse. And I want to thank you again for always making the boys so human. They don't always have the right answer or know what to do in these situations. No one does. We just try to do what our instincts tell us. And hopefully it's the right thing at the time. Dean realizing if he left that bar with the girl it would not be a good idea is just one of the many examples you give. Sam getting so frustrated with the "illusion" they both portray with each other was so real. Love, love, love that Dean called Arla. He did follow his gut instinct and called her for advice. The best advice ever, take a nap! Arla is the best! She totally understands how everything works and for Dean to follow it? Well, he knows she knows best! But Sam realizing in that text that Dean does know what he needs, it makes my heart full. This was jam packed with everything!

I am so sorry this has taken me so long to get to. Life's been crazy. Anyhoo, I am really sad to see this story at it's end but I think this was a very perfect ending. We got to see both brother's POV and they were both so in character for Sam and Dean. Sam's made me especially sad. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story with us!