This... This is just brilliant. Just brilliant.

This is breathtaking. I never thought I’d find such a masterpiece on this site. Your writing is exquisite, thank you for sharing your beautiful gift with us!

Really good fic! I loved it 3

This is one of the best-written stories I have read in a long while; great care and skill went into its crafting, and the writing style is a delight to read. I enjoyed the careful characterisation, the insight you breathed into Ariana's character, and the rich symbolics woven throughout the entire story. A wonderful job indeed.

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read

Grindelwald snapping HIS OWN WAND in two? Bad-ass!

Wow, Grindelwald's letter was so perfectly evil... "Aberforth didn't kill her..." Chills!

I haven’t really reviewed this story much, as i don’t really know what to say, but your work here is phenomenal. This is by far the best portrayal of these events that i’ve read. I’ve talked before about how much i love Ariana’s POVs, but it’s all good. Gellert, Albus, even Aberforth, and i don’t usually like him. I love your use of the maid, mother, and crone in the way you address Death and the Hallows. The letters opening each chapter add so much depth to this story. You wrote this whole thing so, so well.

I want to tell you how great a job you do writing Ariana’s scenes in this story. You write her, and her mental state, and her magic, and the three women, so well. Her scenes are my favorite parts of the whole story to read.

This was a truly well written and beautiful story! You are an amazing writer.

Brilliantly written

This was an outstanding fanfiction. The summer Albus and Gellert spent together is something I've long wanted to read about, and you definitely did the subject more than justice.

Your characterization of Dumbledore and Grindelwald was good, especially Gellert. You really nailed his character as a revolutionary who knows no rules or boundaries, and also his dark side, his anger getting out of control and his self-centeredness.

What puts this story on a really different level compared to other fanfiction was your imaginative characterization of Ariana. Amazingly, you managed to give a disabled girl effectively locked at her home some agency of her own.

I really liked how the letters and Ariana's visions suddenly began to make sense as the story progressed.

Hi, teh. Thank you for mentioning my name at your A/N. I’m deeply honored by it.

It must be sad for Albus to read Gellert’s letter. Gellert told him to lay the blame of Ariana’s death on him, which must have annoyed Albus more. Gellert kept saying he still loved Albus, but Albus couldn’t love him in the same way as the time when Ariana was alive.

Gellert’s attitude towards Bathilda was perfunctory. His words, “what I do not have, I do not need.” is very selfish. Perhaps his mother’s way of bringing him up was wrong. Or he didn’t mention about his father, so lack of father’s love let him behave like that.

It sounds painful that Kendra pulled Albus’s decayed tooth. I wondered again why Ariana didn’t write the reason why she sacrificed herself in the letter to her brother. She might choose her mother’s mysterious way to sacrifice herself. Two women's act, consideration not to let their family worry would keep tormenting both Albus and Aberforth.

Though I could understand Aberforth’s sorrow which couldn’t be given vent at all, it’s so heartrending to read Albus’s wish to live with his only brother.

Even after Albus made it clear he wouldn’t be Gellert’s friend any longer, Gellert looked childish, he couldn’t understand people’s mental pain forever, which must have led him to the next evil deeds.

It’s a meaningful letter that Ariana wrote to Gellert. Her last sentence is very similar to the one on the gravestone of Potters. Though Gellert didn’t care Airana from his heart, his words, “Let perpetual light shine upon your soul, now and forever.” are very beautiful and what you changed the title was great!

oh? you forgot adding the phrase, "Let perpetual light shine upon your soul, now and forever.” in Gellert's words.

K

Hi, teh. Though I predicted what was coming next in this chapter, I’m deeply impressed. Reading each scene, I wondered how long you had planned to form this story. Every scene is marvelous. The mystery why she was always with the three mysterious witches, they represented Death (right?), was revealed. Ariana was destined to die when the Muggle boys attacked her, but barely escaped. The question still was left. Why didn’t she tell Dumbledore what Resurrection Stone was? Alright, I know. If she told about it, Dumbledore in J. ’s books could have been alive now. :D

What I’d like to say most, you built up each scene very carefully. You showed Gellert’s malicious aspect to readers via his brutal deeds against Aberforth and his goats. Then the dueling scenes among Aberforth, Albus and Gellert is terrific. I remembered how Albus Dumbledore beat Voldemort protecting Harry in the film when I spotted he dismissed the Chimaera.

Back to the first letter by old Gellert, I have one question. Did Ariana become a ghost and appear in front of him in the jail?

When I spotted these, I got thrilled. : “The bloodline of the third brother is hidden, even from us,” sighs the Crone. “Such a pity, I would have loved to pay him a visit. Maybe we shall one day find his descendants. I expect there are plenty of them, scattered across the magical families, and proliferating in utter unremarkability.”
Even the Three Witches couldn’t find Potters.

It’s very impressive that you let Ariana think in that way, “She will be forgotten, but that is hardly important. Despite all her efforts, she isn’t important after all. The stories wind on beyond and without her, and she slips away from them, a loose narrative coil spiralling away into the uncatalogued annals of untold stories.” Her self-sacrificing is beautifully written.

And one more mystery is left. Who did she send her last will (a letter without her signature) to before she sacrificed herself?
I wish she could go to Hogwarts, because I read this spot, “If you had ever gone to school, my dear, you would have been exceptionally talented in the subject of Divination.” In that meaning, your plot about Ariana’s ability worked for readers.

And you indicated us why Dumbledore gave up Gellert. He couldn’t feel or think of Albus’s loss though he loved him so much. Another great chapter!

From Bathila’s correspondence, we recognize Ariana was very wise as Albus Dumbledore but at the same time her behavior was immature or apt to go to extremes.

Why did Ariana try to kill herself with stones in her pocket? Or did the three women try to finish her? Did they think Ariana was dangerous in the world? Why could Gellert see the three women? Did they appear in front of him intentionally? You also did a great job upon Marvolo Gaunt’s characterization.

Creamed porridge sounds good (We had porridge in the morning the other day. :D ) Oh, Nicole, I almost shed tears at Albus Dumbledore’s blaming himself and his song and dance with Ariana. I felt both a brother and a sister missed their parents and they cared each other. Then Ariana chose her death for her brothers to free them from her? Still Ariana had a will to write a letter. In the water, did she just try to calm down her intense magic power?

And Gellert’s pester him made Albus’s agony more noticeable for readers. I noticed how severe life Albus was forced to live without his parents, like Harry Potter. The scenes Albus served porridge for his sister and cooked potatoes showed us how he had to manage everything in spite of his strong desire to see the things in the world. And I’m very impressed by your description of the heat that wrapped Gellert in the kitchen and his impatience against the fact that Albus would never change his will. Writing the process from the spot to his evil intention against Aberforth’s barn is superb!