Really amazing story I enjoyed reading it very much

ooooo
likeyy

I'm back reviewing again! It's difficult reviewing a story that's already been completed months ago because I can't give feedback or share ideas etc. in the same way I usually would with a story that was still a work in progress. Nonetheless I feel that I should still give the same feedback I would've if I'd have discovered this story sooner and was reviewing as you posted each chapter.

So bearing that in mind, I just wanted to point out that the number of mistakes in chapters is slowly increasing with each chapter. I understand how difficult it is to write and edit your writing all by yourself since I write all of my stories without a beta, but I just wanted to highlight that there are a lot of words missing from sentences, words that are out of place, spelling and grammar mistakes. And as a side note, I sometimes don't understand the relevance of your use of italics and find that they're used too much. Italics are generally used to emphasise a particular word and sometimes I don't see why the italicised word is being emphasised. As I say, I'm not sure there's much point in me sharing these things with you since the story is complete and won't be changed. But if you do see this hopefully it will be helpful for you in any future writing you may do. :)

Anyway, now the practical side of things is out of the way I can talk more about the fun stuff - the plot and emotions of this chapter. I've already discussed in previous chapters that I often have mixed emotions whilst reading this story and that certainly hasn't changed. There are parts I adore and feel are perfectly developed and other parts I question and feel are out of place.

The main issue for me that keeps popping up time and time again is that Jon and Sansa have a tendency to be OOC quite a lot. I'm not sure to what extent you intended for them to be in character and a lot of fic's aren't in character, so I always feel reluctant for commenting on it. Particularly since it's so hard to write a character exactly as they are on the show and because it's just a personal preference for me. When it comes to fanfiction I always gravitate to stories that are based on canon with the characters, settings, relationships etc. being as close to the show as possible.

In this chapter Jon did feel very OOC to me. My main issue was his decision to completely deny his birthright of both the Stark AND Targarayen names all so he can devote himself to Sansa as his Queen. After everything Jon has suffered through and how hard he's fought he does not deserve to be cast aside once more and return to being nothing but a bastard. I understand your intentions with this were to erase the importance of titles and status in order to show the importance of love from both Jon and Sansa's POV, but Jon has craved and dreamed of rising up from his position of a bastard since he was conscious. Although he loves Sansa and would do anything for her I don't believe he'd essentially sacrifice himself and any hope for his future all for her. Also logically there is no sense in Sansa being Queen over Jon being King. Jon has already experienced leadership as Lord Commander, he has strong military skills, he's naturally a good spokesman and in all aspects of leading has more experience and skills than Sansa (in my opinion). Jon does get led by his emotions a lot, but he still has the ability to think logically and in this instance his decision makes no sense.

I think Jon's decision is a direct result of the way you write his perception of Sansa. From Jon's POV Sansa is a perfect goddess and Queen that is beautiful, sweet, innocent capable, strong and deserving of the world. He believes in her so much and is so desperate to put her first that he'll do anything to lift her up and make her happy. The problem with this is that Jon's love for her is becoming so simplified and one dimensional, as is Sansa's character. She is NOT perfect (after all, no one is) and the fact that Jon is in love with her shouldn't suddenly blind him to her flaws. Jon on the show listens to Sansa and respects her opinion, but he also knows that in certain things he is more knowledgable and wise. He isn't afraid to go against her opinion or make a decision that is solely his if he feels that's best. However, Jon in this story seems completely complacent to all of Sansa's flaws and worships her to an almost unhealthy level. It feels to me that he's essentially becoming Sansa's lap dog. Again, I apologise if it seems I'm being harsh or cruel, thats not my intention. I'm merely sharing my subjective opinion and like I always say, I wouldn't take the time to write something this in-depth if I didn't love and respect your story and writing.

All I can really say regarding this is it's important to always try to keep the balance when writing a love story. When a couple is the central aspect of a story it's easy to get caught up in them as a collective, but don't forget that they are still individual characters. And THAT is what I feel has started to lack as the chapters have gone on. Jon and Sansa's independent characters have faded and they've merged into one. But this could all change as the story progresses and that's why I always stay open minded.

As always, I like to finish with the positives and things I loved. My favourite aspect of this story is still the slow-burn. With each chapter the closeness between Jon and Sansa develops that little bit more and I like that 10 chapters in there still hasn't even been a kiss. A lot of readers were probably impatient for it and although I'm looking forward to that moment, I'm enjoying the simple intimacy the two of them are sharing with the heart to hearts, hand holding, gazes and exchanges of compliments. Jon and Sansa on the show are very subtle with their affection and it's often shown with off-hand compliments or small smiles mid-conversation, and you portray that aspect of their relationship perfectly.

I also love your ability to write extremely emotive and angsty scenes, and boy is there a lot of them! Haha. There's something about you write those kind of scenes that makes them so intense and I can see why you'd feel emotionally drained after writing it! It's actually a lot harder to build sexual/romantic tension in writing than people think, but it's certainly your strength. Almost every chapter I'm internally screaming, "JUST KISS ALREADY!", because that's how palpable the tension is. That's why I'm even more excited to see them admit and give into their feelings, because the build-up has been so well written that it will be a VERY deserving moment.

Well, I think I've bored you quite enough so I'll just say that this will be the first ever GOT story I'll read to the end and I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds!

Wow, I'm SO torn about this chapter. (Just to let you know I'm writing this review as I'm reading the chapter, to share my thoughts as they come to me).

Near the beginning, I was actually completely deterred from reading due to Jon's OOC and corny dialogue. "You are no monster. You are nothing short of perfect." "Look at me sweetling." I just feel like these are things Jon would NEVER say and that turned me off the entire vibe of the scene.

Yet immediately after this I ADORED what you wrote and it was actually some of the most beautiful writing within this story I've come across so far.

"It is right that we were hardly siblings before despite some moments that were rare as it were. And we were barely close now - family yes, but a family thrust together by circumstance, clinging to any semblance of home. But we were close to that. And we only had each other." - This perfectly describes exactly what I discussed in my previous review about them being each other's least favourite siblings before, but now they're just so relieved to be with family that it's brought them closer than ever before.

"I know I haven't been...entirely noble with my thoughts of late. I catch myself in...in confusion then I draw back and curse my shame the next. It wasn't right. But it was, seven help me, so easy. It was so easy to love her. [...] I don't even know why I'm feeling shame, needing to explain to myself why I love her." - This is EXACTLY what I hoped to see Jon going through. Confusion, uncertainty, fear, even self-loathing to an extent, because he thinks what he's feeling is wrong.

"My touch no matter how unworthy of her was welcome - at least in this moment. I also prayed that I was helping her with this, replacing some of the memories of those unwanted touches with the one she chose now. This was a touch allowed. I wanted to give her all the power of choice." - Wow, this is SO beautiful. After everything that Sansa has been subjected to, the importance of her relationship with Jon is that it's one built on TRUST (which is a word you mention consistently throughout this chapter). Jon would never harm her or do anything she didn't ask for/want and this highlights that. He respects her, he wants to heal her, to protect her and it's so beautiful.

Again, the dialogue does tend to be OOC and damn cheesy - "Dearest, you are not tainted. You are not ruined. You are strong. You are brave. You are glorious." - but it's something I'm able to overlook, because within a couple of seconds, I get to another emotive and beautiful sentence such as, "Just as I tried to wash away all traces of abusive memories from her skin, she was replacing each thrust of betrayal on mine with her innocent kisses."

Another favourite line from this chapter is: "She will know choice. She will know power. And she will have them. I swear it to the old gods and the new." I love this because it once again highlights the idea of Jon just wanting to shelter her from the world and protect her from harm. After all of the evil people she's encountered that have just used and exploited her, Jon's intentions are completely and utterly pure and honorable.

Overall I absolutely loved this chapter and it was probably my favourite so far. I actually liked that there wasn't a flashback, because personally I don't feel they're necessary to the story since it's very much rooted in how Jon and Sansa feel NOW, in the present. I think it's much more fitting to just include brief mentions of a memory from their past where it's relevant rather than dedicating an entire chunk of a chapter to a flashback.

I also loved to see your author notes! I know that most fanfiction writers are deterred from leaving them too often as people don't necessarily like it, but I always love to hear from the writer at the end of a chapter. I love that this story is an evolution of feelings, because as I said in my previous review, I adore slow burn relationships. They feel so much more real and it's so much more satisfying when they do finally give into their feelings because there's been such a build-up.

Can't wait to read more!

I stumbled across this story a couple of days ago and even though I'm not even a Jon/Sansa shipper (I adore their relationship but platonically not romantically), after I read the first chapter I felt compelled to read on. I do sense chemistry between Jon and Sansa on the show and I guess my curiosity was piqued to see how you would portray a budding romance between them.

I have to say, for the most part, so far it has felt very realistic and organic, as though this could really take place on the show. I think you get into the head of Jon incredibly well and you flesh out his exact thoughts and feelings regarding Sansa, to the point that I feel I'm truly seeing her through Jon's eyes. However, there are some parts that feel slightly OOC or forced/too fast. Personally, I'm a sucker for a slow-burn and I think particularly when it's a relationship such as this one, whereby to an extent it's a forbidden or taboo romance, it should unfold VERY slowly. Regardless of their feelings, Jon and Sansa were raised as siblings and consider each other as such, so exploring their blossoming feelings is something I'd imagine would be very scary for both of them. Having said this, I can't really judge too much on that yet seeing as I'm still so early on in the story and those feelings of fear and uncertainty are something you may touch upon in future chapters.

The idea of incorporating flashbacks into the story is a very good one, but from a personal perspective it sometimes feels as though there's too much romantic emphasis placed on those flashbacks and they're not necessarily the tone I'd expect. In the story, from both their perspective's there's an air of them having a shyness around each other that pertains to a crush (although neither of them as children necessarily have the self-awareness to realise that) and I don't think that's necessary. I also feel that there's too much friendliness and warmness between them as children that doesn't necessarily align with their character's, particularly Sansa. You blame her distance from Jon as stemming from a desire to keep Catelynn happy, which is completely reasonable, but I feel like that explanation is too simplistic and fails to consider Sansa's flaws as a character, the main flaw being her snobbery. Sansa is a character that was shallow. She cared about living in a "proper" way, she was concerned with titles and nobility and her ultimate dream was to marry a prince so she could be a dutiful wife and princess, and one day queen. I believe she did look down on Jon for being a bastard and his closeness with Arya suggests even more that Sansa likely wouldn't have had a friendship with Jon. She often butted heads with Arya and found her irritating, so it stands to reason she'd feel similarly towards Jon.

For this reason I feel it would've been so much more fitting to actually write Jon and Sansa's relationship as children as being a negative one laced with resentment and coldness, whereby they didn't understand each other and didn't particularly like each other. This would've made is SO much more interesting to explore their romantic feelings in the present, because it'd be something completely new and unexpected to both of them.

From my perspective, I don't see their romantic feelings as being something that can be traced back to their childhood, which is what you seem to portray. I think that instead, the separation they've had means that now they're reunited as young adults, their feelings have become muddled and transformed. This is partly because after all of the trauma and horrors they've faced, they feel so much relief to be reunited with family that neither of them care that they were once each other's least favourite sibling. But it's also because they've both changed so much. Not only have they both matured, developed more interest in the opposite sex (which means they're probably noticing for the first time how attractive the other is), they've also changed internally. The snobbery that Jon disliked in Sansa as a child is now gone and because it's gone she no longer sees him as her bastard half-brother, but simply as Jon. All of the barriers that separated them are completely gone now - Catelynn is dead, Sansa's innocent and optimistic perception of the world has been shattered by her experiences, her snobbery has slipped and because of this Jon is more open and less judgmental of her.

I feel like I'm getting so swept up in my thoughts here (maybe your story has transformed me into a Jonsa shipper without me even realising! haha) and I need to get back to the point. Just because you haven't necessarily wrote the development of their romance in the way I would have isn't a bad thing. It's just a personal preference and doesn't stop me from liking the story. Your writing is to a good standard and I've thoroughly enjoyed the first 4 chapters and think I will continue to enjoy it. I'm definitley intrigued to see how the rest of the story will unfold since I have 11 more chapters to go.

On a final note, the scene at the end of this chapter was one of my favourites and actually gave me goosebumps. Jon and Sansa being united as King and Queen of the North was amazing and something that 100% should've been canon on the show. Sansa deserves more recognition. Jon is a natural born leader, but I believe after everything Sansa's been through she's finally in a place whereby she's just as capable of ruling as Jon is.

I'm sure you've probably never received a review this long before (sorry, I tend to get carried away haha) and you can expect to see more reviews from me as I progress with the story. I'm just glad that the story's complete so I can read until the end without having to wait week to week for the uploads. I don't think I would've survived if I had to do that! haha.

I'm a thorough bundle of nerves and emotions right now and even though I know how I feel I don't know how to say it. First off, great story. Goes without saying really. But it's not necessarily the story that has me this overwhelmed. Anyone could've come up with a SansaJon story and written it out. It's the HOW that gets me. You didn't bore us with the stuff that we were already familiar with from the show. You skipped everything irrelevant to the immediate plot. The emphasis and attention you placed on detailing their current emotions made me feel like I was there feeling it too. The way you focused on events instead of the logical flow of time -events significant to the main characters, even those of the past. All this shows me how brave, artistic and creative you are as a writer. I don't think I've ever read anything like this and I think you ruined my chances of just 'jumping to another story' after this and genuinely enjoying it. Great work. Thank you for this amazing experience. You poured your heart and soul into this beautiful story and I can tell. I only wish I could express just how good this was. Hands down my favorite ever fanfiction to this date, not because of a thrilling plot or earth shattering twists, but simply because of its unique style. Thank you.

I feel my masculinty escaping me (and I like it). The way you articulate every minute detail of what they're feeling that second is... beautiful? I have no words for it anyway. Never have I been satisfied with a Sansa Queen in the North -at Jons expense bwfore this. Never have I hated Littlefinger like this. Going on to be one of my favorites so far. I'm expecting alot from this now! ps. The best written Sansa ever.

wow. I've never read anything like this. Something with this much emotion. All these feels

I love this. The emotions are breath taking! I love how Sansa felt guilty for having JoN play the game. I love how Jon was willing to play the game to keep Sansa safe! And Joanna being Arya... I saw it coming. Awesome!

The truth is finally revealed. Glad Littlefinger is not there.

Your story deserves more reviews. You've done a remarkable job of writing amazing story lines for our favorite characters and your story is utterly captivating. I hope that you update soon and more purple take the time to recognise your story for how great it is!

I'm absolutely addicted to this story! It was amazing, and I even read this when I was suppose to be doing all the homework I had piled up instead. Great story, and keep up the good writing. I can't wait for the last chapter. (And possibly a sequel...? ;) please)

This was so painful to read. Seeing Jon & Sansa breaking into pieces and separating was so real and brought tears to my eyes. Your description of their split made me feel so sorry for this error in judgment. Jon is doing everything to protect Sansa from Littlefinger and I can't wait until she finds the truth. That everything everyone did was to save her from that crazy evil monster. Your presentation of all the members of the Queenguards and the lords of the council was very compelling and all their discussions seemed to be so real. You could tell that you did intense research to give it an authentic feeling. As always well done and 20 stars for over the top. wow

Omg! Amazing! I lovi it with all my heart
If you can write one more chapter, I would really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for write a wonderful Jonsa, I really loved

Oh why are you even doubting that your loyal and obsessed fans would be disappointed in this chapter. There was so much revealed in this jonsa moment. Then, when Brienne entered the scene I was like no, don't interrupt them now. Finally they are going to admit their mutual desires and deep love for one another. Jon is under the impression that she is not reciprocating those emotions. I can't wait until all of Lord Balish's evil scheming comes back to bite him in his monstrous ass. That man deserves to die more than almost anyone else. He started this entire never ending nightmare for the Starks. Also I loved that Jon stated to Sansa that she shouldn't never doubt his love for her. That made me smile and practically squeal with joy. One more thing love that other loyal Queensguards heard the truth. Oh the Hound Jyhanna both wanted to assist in removing that bastard's head from his manipulative body made me say go North. I love this so much and though I am thrilled that we will have (hopefully) an amazing and happy jonsa together ending. I have to say that you must continue to pen stories for this couple. Because you bring them to life in such a compelling and believable manner. Also one more thing, I agree that Rob was very flawed in so many ways. Yes, he was also young but his mother warned him what marrying that foreign woman would do to his cause.
His stupidity brought the North their first impossible to come back from for a very long time, loss. His mistakes were more than ridiculous. I also am not happy that his will placed Sansa in danger. It was heartwarming to see that Jon noticed that right away and was very angry and disturbed by Rob's decision.