Y'know, handing everyone an idiotball in order to railroad a massacre is not good writing. In the previous chapters, you gave no motivation at all for suddenly trusting Connington, who was organizing an invasion for the fake Aegon. Instead, they just blithely ignored his presence so you could set up this clusterfuck.

I'm really quite disappointed. In order to pull this off, everyone involved had to act like a complete retard. You had them knowingly walk into a trap with no precautions and no defenses left for the parties left behind. I'm not sure why you felt it was necessary to do this, but it wasn't clever, or shocking, just pointless.

Wow. That was insane. I might be in shock. The red wedding in the show barely affected me, granted I didn't much care for any character other then Grey Wind. I mean damn, I'm gonna cry.

This is not a flame, i like the story but will give some commentary

X

You are mixing somewhat contradictory traits that make Gregor in a Marty Stu

So good with words, so good with the sword, so easily to kill the guilty, so easily to forgive the trio whose lust and idioticy lead the kingdom to war

While doing his best to protect the children is acceptable

The acceptance of a the threesome between two horny nobles with the fiance of another should not be acceptable for a law keeper... it falls in adultery

Gregor is LIVING the story, there should be more irritation to horny nobles and stupid girls whose actions brought fort the death of thousands

Gregor had already changed his own fate, as far as he knows Jon may aswell die from a cold and Danny may neer have been born on the 1st place

The problem is not that his plans go well but his lack of frustration and excessive amount of acceptance for someone who is so casual with murder

Gregor is NOT Superman, he is closer to The Punisher

He will accept that people have flaws, that there are mercenaries, soldiers and prostitutes

But he will not overlook those flaws

Gregor's job is to judge and punish the seen of the people

On the note of frustration

Lyanna Stak is the idiot protagonist from a shoujo manga that ran away with the bad boy and betrayed her family who had gotten her a loving fiancée

ANYONE could have been the mother of the 3rd head but the horny delusional idiot had to chose the pretty girl with a fiance and didn't bother to personally tell her family

Robert is actually the good guy, he is the hero who inspired everyone to raise against the Demon King when his love interest was kidnapped

Robert's loathing of Targairden is actually acceptable, the father was a madman, the pretty and married prince stole his beloved fiance and any child of the family would attempt to regain the trone and repeat those feats

Robert's loathing of 'Dragon spawns' is evil but understable and does infact make him more human than your Gregor's opinon of Lyanna

X

You should not protray Lyanna as a good and upstanding person, she ran away without telling anyoje, she had a loving fiance but got pregnant by the married prince and despite of getting 'married' she didn't have anyone from her family in her wedding

A family that died and fought for her sake

The more that you bother with making Lyanna a 'good person' the more it will break your story with contradiction

The whole spech about the prophecy and other wife approval sounded more like a convenient lie made by Gregor

The pretty prince was crazy enough to believe the prophecy but Lyanna was a horny idiot and Dorne's Princes had more simpati from being a neglected wife

The war was merely Karma

Fucking hell...damm...

I have to say I'm really enjoying this fic. Its slow there's not a lot of fighting and I applaud you for it. There is after all only so many ways you can write out "And he stabbed him with a sword."

"all the revenue the legion earned" ... with what ? robbing the bandits ?

sooo how does he finance his legion ... sure the 13k gold will last a while but not forever and unless he brings rice over from yi-ti there won't be any agriculture in the swamps ...

Lol a CIA agent with sound mind and honorable character.

silly old bear, that's how you die

...he was named Aegon i think, John is the name Ned gave him.

The story feels like a damn summery.

Plus, I thought of giving the self insert thing a shot... but, it just suffers the same problems like all the others. Shame.

Lyanna saying she shamed Robert when im pretty sure in canon, she knew of his own bastards.

I take youll taking an artistic liberty of not having suffer constant pain due to his gigantism?
After all in canon, he was a milk of the poppy addict due to his bodies size and the pain it put him through.

Oh wow, The Red Viper kissing the Mountain? Ooooh~! That would be quite. . . Orgy-ish . . . :3

Surprised she waited this long