Well, that's one way to motivate someone, just throw in some live bait. And in this case the live bait happens to be Cinder's boyfriend/servant/? I think he's her lackey. If I remember correctly that's what he is. Or maybe all of the above.

For a moment I thought Salem was taking Roman's cane and was going to hit him in the back with it, therefore causing him to fall forward into the area with Cinder.

I think from now on Roman will watch from a safe distance, lest he run the risk of becoming Grimm chow when his boss decides she needs a little motivation.

I could totally picture Salem doing this if Roman was still alive, and... if him and Cinder were canon. He does make a good point, but at the same time I think Cinder must have really taken a beating from Ruby to be in this state. She thought she was indestructible only to realize then that she was vulnerable, just that's got to do a round on her.

Cinder just needs more time to recuperate, and then hopefully she'll be back to herself. But for now she just needs to beat the shit out of some Grimm so they don't eat Roman, the unreliable bishop XD

I want to start off by saying that I really dislike Dr. Watts. He needs to leave Cinder alone, we haven't heard anything about him accomplishing anything. So, you know, fuck that guy.

I like how Roman puts Watzy in his place here, surprising him and everything. But especially how he makes the little shit shut up, finally. (can you tell I don't like the guy?) Cinder is completely unaffected by Roman's actions, which I love. I wish someone else besides Salem had pointed out that Cinder did her job in canon. And now I really miss Roman, again. -.-

Ooo we get to see the side of things as they happen at the end of Volume 3 from Cinder's pov! I was really wishing for the show to elaborate how she got out of there... and now with Roman gone I really want to know what happened. But for now I'll assume Em and Merc helped Cinder in canon.

Nice mention of her body not seeming to suffer any long lasting wounds. Except her eye... the one that was hidden beneath her hair. Somehow the other one that wasn't is just fine.

Roman came to the rescue! Cinder is so cute clinging to him... I like how she can actually do that with him, it shows just how much she trusts him and all that sweet sparkly stuff.

I like the way Roman responds to the doctor's many questions. He's her voice when she can't speak, and takes a stand so Watts will leave her alone. I mean really, it sounds like she's been through a lot and doesn't need to be pestered at a time like this.

Cinder must be used to Roman behaving like that if she doesn't even flinch when his cane hits the table.

I thought it was amusing how she fought to control her powers she she didn't "reduce this fool to nothing but a synonym for his first name". She reminds me of Kefka trying not to obliterate Cid during an exam.

All together I thought this was a nice little drabble that shows Roman's feelings and devotion to Cinder.

Very interesting concept but needs more length and the first two chapters feel like prologues. Try adding Roman's perspective.

You wanted to know if the story flows well, and for the most part it's just fine. The first three paragraphs are good. The flow is good and you do a good job expressing her emotions.

The area where the flow is broken slightly appears between the sentence, "Her senses fade out again", and the next paragraph that begins with, "Sound returns first this time." On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate the flow in this area as a seven. It's not bad, and you can leave it as is if you want. But I feel as though more could be added after "her senses fade out again". Maybe another sentence connected to that one that helps merge it with the next paragraph. But for the most part you did a good job.

Overall this is a good story. I can really feel what Cinder (is this Roman or Cinder's POV? I forget which character is which because I don't know the fandom) going through, and she appears to be traumatized by what just happened.

I like the way you described the scene in the fifth paragraph, as well as the "a small eternity passes in silence" part. That, and the part about hearing the sound of wings, is very nice.

The ending is beautiful. I love the mental image of him picking her up off the ground with her clinging to him. Very nice, very romantic and sweet. A good ending for the first chapter.