Another form of sarcasm, irritating internal monologue this OC you get.

This Jay dude is bad news, he could have actually killed that kid. No joke, they use water in plastic bags as weapons in prisons.

Hmm

Da fuck...? In chap 1 and 2 he sounded like a bitch...
Modern world may not have much violence because of peace tine bla bla bla...

News flash ..

In my place , Drug lords runs , and so does murderers , rapes and thieves are almost everywhere and im pretty sure that the country boi is from a city , like... a mundane city ... im pretty sure being 19 can pick up a few tricks and tactics , especially todays generation.

He can recreate moves from narutyo like the chodori , guidingbhis semblance att the center of his palm.

Or boost his reaction speed by pumping the bloods with lightning through the heart .

Geez...

Sloopy punch you learned after 5 FREAKING years...?

How... how pathetic is that...

Human mind especially in they're prime like 19 too 25 can adapt they're bodies VERY fast ...

And sorry it may be harsh ...

But im tired of seeing people turing into ozpins or Ironwood Bitch boy...

This is probably too late, but what about a 4 foot staff that is a metal handle on each side connected by a stick made from noncondunctive metal on the outside and a conductive metal on the inside? So he can have a mid ranged melee weapon to channel his lightning into for harder hits and long shots

For all his determination to face Salem head on he sure is wishy-washy. His attitude is more in line with cowardly slacker than someone who wants to do good in the world.

well ignore my previous review

seriously gay?! and here i've been disappointed
damn! i'd love straight

how do you use your semblance in a fight, uhh stammer trying to figure out what he means
so you semblance is used at a range then we give you a ranged weapon so that you have double range options and are totally fucked at close range
crossbow sounds cool i mean the whole reloading part that takes 2 seconds is totally awesome, arrows take up a lot of space and are knly effective with dust so that means expensive.
congratulations you now have a ineffective weapon that 'sounds cool' and is expensive
argh just fuck this shit.

ruby at age 15 kick the shit out of a dozen cirminals before taking on roman, but your protagonist at age 13 can only shake in fear... and here i was hpoing for some action but instead get the autistic pussy (yes he acts that way)

shovimg your hand under the door, glancing under the door. i dont knoe about doors in remnant but on earth such a thing is quite impossible

your protagonist has zero personality or character, honestly he is like a non entity who stand in the shadows observing the rest. at least so far

Is he the Dishonored Outsider?

Nice Evil Recruitment Speech! I'm impressed, Mr Vague Competent Bad Guy!

Yeet