Ha Ha

Hope to read more soon.

D

Preciosa de veras.

Woo I'm here to ruin people's day so I've just been going to the most popular fic in each fandom that is currently in progress and listing reasons as to why they suck. Aren't I just the nicest? Anyhow, your fic happened to the be the most popular ongoing fic for this fandom, so here I am. Naturally.

I mean, I hardly have the time to read every single chapter super carefully, so instead, I'm going to just going to make fun of your grammar.

Aight here we go:

"and what not that littered the floor" - "what not" is one word - "whatnot"

"She should have reminded the children to put them all away before dinner, and they were now preparing for bed." - Your use of "and" indicates that there lies some connection between the two sentences. From the way you phrase it, there's no obvious connection, and it doesn't make sense to use "and" here. You should instead write something along the lines of "but it was too late, as they were now preparing for bed"

"she proceeded towards the nearest pile"... of what? I thought the quills and such were scattered across the floor? What "pile" are you referring to? If I scatter a bunch of papers and quills across the floor, there aren't going to be any piles. You make it seem like there are orderly stacks of office supplies on the ground

"'Finally!' The raven-haired woman exclaimed" - Why are you using an uppercase "The" here? "The" is still part of the sentence, and because it isn't a proper noun, it should be lowercased. Essentialy, you aren't starting a new sentence with "The" so don't uppercase it.

Listen buddy, you show ZERO transition of time between her bending down to start the task of cleaning and the woman finishing the task. It's almost like she reaches down to grab something, exclaims "Finally!" is magically she is finished cleaning. Say something (less cliche than my example of course) like "After what seemed like an entire day of cleaning, the entire floor was immaculate. 'Finally!' the raven haired woman exclaimed..." etc etc.

"She smoothed some stray tendrils of hair away from her face, and wiped at the light sheen of sweat..." Why is there a comma here? Are you separating two independent clauses? No. "Wiped at the light sheen of sweat on her forehead" is hardly an independent clause, thus you don't need a comma separating the two sentences.

"as she leaned back a little to work the kinks out of the muscles of her lower back with her free hand." - Lot's of excess info here that you don't need. Cut out the "a little" and the "with her free hand." I can understand the meaning perfectly without these two.

"The former human glided her hand to the front, rubbed the rounded swell of her belly, before she laid it at the base for support." First of all, this is a run-on sentence. If you want to fix is, change "she laid" to "laying." Also, you mention a "base" which has never been talked about before. What base are you talking about? First base?

"It was getting much harder for her to move lately" - You want to be using the imperfect/pluperfect tense here, since it is something that has been happening in the past up to this point. Use "had been getting much harder" instead of "was getting much harder"

"she was getting much slower" - same thing "she had been". Besides, "getting" is a really bad word to use in general. Change it to something like "becoming" or simply "moving had become more difficult for her"

"Kagome waddled towards a large wooden chest by a book case on one side of the library, and carefully knelt in front of it." - Bookcase is one word, and there should not be a comma between the two sentences, for reasons mentioned above

Argh they tell me when I start to do something, I should commit to it, but I think this is enough for you to chew on for a while. Also, I feel like doing other stuff with my life than use it reviewing this fanfic (not saying that your fic is bad... I mean it kind of is but whatever)

Alright, you published this a LONG time ago, so I'll excuse you for this horrendous prologue. I mean, half the letters are capitalized where they shouldn't be, excessive caps, inappropriate spacing... and so much more. I shall keep reading though

I was so excited to see the update! This story is the one that that got me hooked on fan fiction. I was so sad when you stopped updating. Thanks for the update and I look forward to seeing where this story goes in the future.

OMG OMG yay. I am sooooo happy you are continuing.
I CANT WAIT!

You have to continue this story...years of waiting...PLEASE!

I am glad she realized there are major concequences and she needs to tread carefully because it affects other peoples lives. I think Sesshomaru let her off the hook too easily for leaving him. You cant abandon your family and knowing you are never going back then declare your undying love after you manage to return for the sole purpose of altering the future/save yourself and your family. If I was Sesshomaru, I would be on my high guard. Heart break is not easily cured.

Ohh Sesshomaru is gone! Thank you! Have concequences for your selfishness Kagome!

*grumbles* I dont believe Kagome deserves a waiting Sesshomaru in the future. She should see one that moved on because of her stupidity so she would find a way to go back in the past and fix her own mistakes instead of always having people chase after her and working around everything she does.

wow so she abandons her love and two kids who see her as a mother...She is fully aware she will see them in 500 years... Selfish Kagome...truly selfish. Sesshomaru deserves better for that act

squeeee I adore this chapter Sesh Kag yay! Shippo you are so adorable!

I though this was a Sess Kag romance but it seems to be a Inuyasha Kag romance...since he is to be reborn at some point to be with her again once he learns his lessons? Amazing story so far though!

update soon please