are u a pinoy?

Just a little issue unresolved, but you never had lincoln address Lucy or Lola’s crushes.

Just read this in its entirety. Very well written and engaging story. Though I must admit I had a time getting used to the name Lingala, after seeing Lyra used so often.

Cooler

chapter 9
aww come on luan lighten up i incest is
incest, insist get it bwahahahahahahahahahha

1. cheering up?
he forgot luans cameras, whelp hes fucked
figuartively and literally

This is definitely going to be chaotic. No doubt about that.

You should make a sequel!

Okay. I almost cried at the end...

This is getting exciting. I can't stop reading.

Well... Knew that was coming.

This certainly got a home run right off the freaking back.

...
Ellipsis.
3 dots.

Where have I been all this time...? This was updated friggin' 5 months ago and I wasn't even aware of it? Goddammit. Though, this may not be the same me that was there during the story's early run. I'm... Not fond of how things turned out. When I first saw this again after Lord knows how long it's been, I was of course, confused. Confusion, turned to more confusion. It took me only to set my eyes on the word reunion in this chapter to get me back on track. Honestly, I didn't like it. There were so many things with the last two epilogues that made me feel like I might be drunk, but no, these chapters actually happened.

Okay, I found some problems here and there... That first paragraph was written before I read the story fully and now I have... Not really as I found that it was really hard to sit through all that. Sorry. Overall, the grammar is okay but, punctuation sometimes goes out of whack. There is also mistakes in the abbreviated words.

Last thing I'd really want to do is talk on another author's OC because I too have them but... I'm sorry to say this but I actually took my eyes off this story to smack myself in the head a few times because of Ligala. I know that her weirdness was noted in the story but... Why does she sound so much like your stereotypical character where the mindset of "I wanna be friends of everyone" is their main drive in life. I don't hate that, no, but the way Ligala was portrayed, she just felt more like she was crammed through a machine that programs her to specifically act like the most basic type of this character trope.

And oh dear, the other characters... What's all this...?

I'm sorry if this is painful to read through (Because of how badly I have it written) but yeah... It does hurt me to write this though. And I'm really, really, sorry for this. It just felt as though everything that was good during the story's initial run, all the way to chapter 18, disappeared. I understand if TLA wasn't there to proofread but... How many times have I said "but"?

Putting things simply, I don't like the epilogues... And I might as well stop reading it when it got worse, right? Yet, I pressed on and ruined my time. At least... It wasn't too bad to the point where it would dilute the contents from 1-18.

Now that I've dumped all my radioactive waste here, I suppose it's time to head off.

Loved the emotions and pull this had.

Welp, I've finally gotten here, and I'll admit, you did a great job!

Plot (3/3): I'll admit, my opinion on Loudcest is simple, if it fits the story is done well, I honestly don't care. Now, Luna getting pregnant has been done before, and by Lincoln's had too! But I loved how you made it serious and showed how far things would change after it all. If anything, I feel you could've done more when it came to Lincoln's relationships and leaving.

Storytelling (3/3): You did well when telling the story. Though, I feel Luna's ending segment was a bit rushed, especially with the early birth.

Grammar (3/3): This is easy to explain, compared to what I've seen your grammar is great!

Impact (1/1): This is tough one. I loved this story and you did a great job in telling it. So simply put, great job. Though, I feel you could've had more emotional moments to push the impact of this story.

Great work mate, I rate this fic 10/10!