What kind of retard would fight on the ground when they controlled the orbitals? You just hit them with rods from god until the enemy gives up or until they are all dead.

What a retarded BullShit. Massive Tauri ships LOL
You dumbass, Race ships are slower than light ships with huge cargo capacity with big reaction fuel tanks and they use "braking rockets" to stop... AKA Race Ships are Massive, not Tauri...

one more correction. you use guild where you should be using guide

So... another set of words you tend to use incorrectlyEntree" is the main course of a meal. You use that or "Entrees" when you should be using "Entry, Entries, or "Entrance". "Severed" means cut or broken; you have used this one in the place of "Served" as in 'Dinner was served at 8' or 'John served in the military'. I only mentioned these because they are consistent mistakes. I understand that with dyslexia it is very easy to get the spelling mixed up. I am hoping that these being pointed out to you will help you improve. I love your stories and I hope you continue to write. Please do not let my critiques discourage you. I wouldn't be trying to give advice if I didn't think you were capable of improving. Keep up the good work.

I love your stories. I have one note though. You should research the difference between lied and laid. You use lied for situations that should use laid. You have used the word lied correctly at times as well but most of the time it should have been lie, lay or laid and not lied. I no it can be confusing but with research and practice I am confident you can get it right. Thanks for writing incredible stories. Keep up the good work.

The Saul/Galen resolution bothers me in this story. The didn't do anything wrong. In fact, they were betrayed by One after the Final Five gave the Cylons what they wanted. Essentially, the Terrans are rewarding One for his treachery and not allowing the other models to know what he did to push them down the road to a war they didn't need with the Colonials. So to have Saul be separated from Ellen because it is convenient for One doesn't seem like justice to me.

I find myself skipping a lot of the story. Your friend back then really did have a point when he said that a lot of this is fluff and filler. A lot of those things could be removed and the story would still function normally. A rule of thumb in writing is to ensure that most of what you put down on the page have some kind of relevance to the plot.

There are still common and major spelling and grammatical issues that could easily be solved with a program or just getting a proofreader.

Better written than the first one. I thought it didn't make sense to go stomping over The Race after Colonials since they are even weaker, but you added a nice twist of another world. I enjoyed getting to actually know some of the characters which was lacking in the first story. Some of the things I found that don't make sense however are the Prometheus II - what's the point of making a massive ship just to carry a few capital ships, they can fly themselves. Unless it's to carry super star gate pieces, but then again they don't seem to be that hard to produce on the spot considering available technology. You finally explained in this story why firearms are still using bullets, however I disagree. Sure they are still useful and should stay as an alternative weapon, but races like Replicators are rare. It makes much more sense to carry a plasma rifle that has a thousand rounds in a single catridge, also it packs more of a punch. Giving explosive free drones to Disney doesn't make sense either, they are expensive and difficult to make phase shifting missiles, even the Lantians didn't have enough of them, otherwise they wouldn't lose against the Wraith. Anyone could steal them and put explosive back in them! I understand your reading disorder but still you should note these words which you frequently misspell : dalliance - dilation, distance - distant, duel - dual. Oh and it doesn't make sense to use railguns in space, they were good for nothing in canon and I checked the math, basically you have a plothole for the whole Contact at Kobol which I overlooked because the story is not bad in general. Basically I checked how much kinetic energy a single military railgun round has. It's 18.4 MJ. Now remember Stargate episode with Apophis getting near Earth and Earth firing 2 primitively enhanced naquadah nukes that did no damage to the Ha'tak that didn't recieve any post Ra upgrade. Your plot hugely hangs on Colonial ships actually doing damage when in fleet to Tau'ri ships which have asgard/ancient shield that are even better than 2nd or 3rd generation Ha'taks after they took of the limit on technology upgrades(due to freedom to do so after Ra's Death). Even if Colonials have better railguns than 18,4 MJ, okay let's say space railguns are 200x more powerful and the Tau'ri ship gets hit by 50 000 rounds. That's 184 TJ. Currently most powerful nuke is 210 TJ, if two of those didn't do any damage to first and weakest generation Ha'tak then your story doesn't make sense as a single Daedalus class cruiser could've destroyed Colonials, not to mention that mach 10 is slow in space and the superior speed Tau'ri vessels could easily circle the Colonials, dodged most of the fire even though they wouldn't need to and teleport nuke them out of their range. Also I'm pretty sure any Tau'ri engines are run on naquadria this late, not naquadah. Would be nice to mention how many generators each ship has and even some backup neutrino ones(Asgard). Thanks for the story, now onto the Mass Effect one, though I haven't played it but I'm still interested.

Overall, mostly pretty good.

With all due respect, how are there any Conquest Fleet ships over Vantic 5? The Conquest Fleet had been towed from Tosev to Home system. A few Colonization Fleet ships might be in orbit.

Oopsie: Ship Lord is a naval Captain, equivalent to a Colonel (O-6).

It is incorrect protocol to salute an officer in civilian clothes.

I wouldn't be surprised if those "CD drive slots" weren't actually magnetic media (floppy disks).

Nearly half a speed of light and it takes them a whole month to fly from Pluto to Earth. Are you fraking kidding me?

I hope it's corrected in the following chapters or next story, because a tonne of the rarest mineral to make 1 zpm is a joke. For some reason I doubt the Alterans had to mine a tonne for a single zpm...