kinda dull. Not feeling the improvement. even with all the increaing stats. Would have liked MC to create skills with PP, like making a power manipulation skill. So he does not have to kill people or read skill books.

MC seems to not be munchkinning properly. If Aura and Apprentice are under skills, and he can CREATE skills for 1PP. Then he could have, instead of getting a perk, make a skill to create PP's. or that can convert mana to PP's. Maybe make a Meta Magic skill. So he can start learning and using stuff like Chakra, ninjutsu, Wand magic from Harry Potter, Nasuverse Kaleidoscope... etc.

"Allows for the creature of dimensional pockets?" Whats does that even mean?

Anyway interesting story. I woulda perfered if gamer didn't have magic included, instead having a seperate apprentice type magic system. Mostly because the magic system in gamer is so uninspired. And knowing the end game for a magic system would allow for build up of anticipation. Honestly, just thinking about the magic system in gamer is draining my energy and joy. Reading gamer it even feels like the author didn't know what to do about magic after he made it and gave it almost no rules or guidelines besides 'magic' pazza! Im thrusting my hands forward, as a visual, by the way.

I like the concept of this story and how it ties in with worm really well. It depicts exactly what everyone fears, a random person gets powers and goes on a murderous rampage. On the gamer side of things, i like how this dude is like, i am now a gamer im gonna treat everyone like loot waiting to happen. Uber and l33t would love him, except you know they would run in fear because he would want their powers.

As a side note, uber's power is not as useful as i thought it was. It basically makes him better at anything he does as long as he concentrates on the task at hand. He doesnt keep the skills he gains. So thats ever so disappointing.

After reading the quoted section it was clear you're never going to give us any character interaction.
There is 0 suspense or danger to the MC.
We can't relate to the MC because they never think or let us feel anything. You skip all over anything that could be emotional or character development.

So:
- no suspense
- no excitement
- no danger
- no character interaction
- no drama
- no introspection
- no emotions
- no thinking

This isn't a story, it's a list.
This is 100% tell and 0% show.
I'm sorry, I can't even continue for the purpose of constructive criticism ( is terrible for that compared to SB/SV/QQ)

It turns out Tattletale was now running it. She didn't join the Protectorate, instead she disappeared into the civilian sector. She had managed to gain control of most of Coil's assets and hired her team to join her. Publicly several of them had joined the Wards, but they were treated more like New Wave then Shadow Stalker.

It wasn't hard to convince her to work with me. I was even gracious about it. I wanted resources. I don't care if I'm in charge of the method used, just that it works. So I placed her in charge of most of my civilian projects, including my tinker network.

The last was something which had her rolling on the floor laughing. Considering the sheer terror Tattletale exhibited when I first appeared in front of her I wonder if she was experiencing emotional whiplash.

Constructive criticism:
- This is a first person POV yet we still have no idea why the MC does anything.
- We never (with one tiny exception) get to see any other characters reactions.

Generally you just provide a list of actions, or a narration instead of details.
All danger and suspense was gone extremely early.
You could have character interaction but you don't.
His one spoken line during the endbringer battle was the very first time the character spoke!

We don't know why he's actually doing anything he does (he kills just about everyone, leaves others alive..)
We had a throwaway line at the beginning indicating he believed everyone was going to die so it's ok to kill them. However it's not clear who he was speaking about.
Everyone? Just people in Canberra? (clearly not the case). All villains? Anyone he feels like it?

We are never given any insight into his motivations, and absolutely everyone else is faceless, usually nameless, and no one has any character development (including the MC).

It doesn't even work as a gamer fic because you skip almost everything... we usually see that perks were gotten and spent after he's gathered dozens (and we didn't know it happened). We never saw a single grand soul drop and yet he spends dozens of them for perks and only afterwards learn that it probably came from parahumans (or *maybe*? the ID).

It's barely even a power fantasy cause we rarely get to see the MC's reaction to what the MC does. Is he happy? Excited? Horrified? Does he care at all?
It doesn't exactly seem like he thinks of everything as fake (he leaves most heroes alive).
It's not just for powers (he kills homeless people just like he does gang members).

It doesn't look like he's doing this cause he's scared and wants to survive (we never see any fear).
It doesn't look like he has any goal... we see actions only, never hear about a plan, and never see.

This really feels a lot more like someone is literally playing a video game for no reason (they don't actively like it, don't actively dislike it, are skipping all cutscenes and all story, and rarely react when they find some munchkin thing but then only barely to discuss the cost a tiny bit)

Why the hell do you keep killing everyone?
You said you can only hold one power at a time, and my understanding is when you switch you can't switch back (do you respawn the old skill book when you replace it?)

Is it for XP? The SI seems way too happy about powers that they will never use.
Can the SI give the powers away to civilians? That would make a tiny bit of sense.

I've also never heard of cyoa v7. Would be nice to see a link, or explicitly mention that it doesn't even exist.

Status screen consistently says he's 8 years old, but story text and details say he's 12 years old.

He says he's 12 but the Gamer page says he's 8.

Another totally mindless grinder. Playing at godmode, having no morals. No social interactions, no plot, no challenge, no humor, no good thoughts. What's the point of this waste of time? You could go ahead and just list levelups, with 'Congratulations, you have killed the final boss' at the end of it.

The murderhobo is real.

In chapter 2 MC ordered books in destroyed Canberra under quarantine and got them after 3 days?

First Age: 8, and then he's twelve. Something wrong here.

He killed Eidolon because Eidolon was controlling the Endbringers to attack. But the Simurgh still attacks?

Your character mentions wishing that he couldn't be knocked back but just earlier he got a skill called Rooted that let's him avoid that. Also the scene with the guardian spirits is rather confusing until you mention it's for the guardian spirits, might wanna move that up then put the part where he's creating them.