Around the time I was reading the beginning chapters (this took a few weeks to finish), I was getting into the band Mayday Parade. At some point, I forget which unfortunately, I heard the song “Call Me Hopeless, but Not Romantic”, and whether it was FrUK drama, the tone of the whole story, or the actual lines of the song, I’ve been acquainting one with the other a lot in my head. The song is kinda what the worst scenario would feel like for Francis’s and Arthur’s relationship, and I think I read an argument between them before listening to it first time...they’d just link so well for me, idk why. I also don’t know why this is noteworthy, but music is for me what literature is for you, so I’m letting myself type this out. Hopefully I’m as good at my love as you are with yours!
Cause this reminds me of why I love this fandom, these characters, and just thoughtful writing in general. This character study had me adoring every word of the daily tales on life Arthur has, as well as the actions of those around him. This is the grittiest yet most subtle slice of life story ever, and I found myself reading it like Arthur read his books during his better moods. It was so interesting, seeing him piece together his life after also seeing it break apart - I like how the story started with the others noticing his demons, and ending with them noticing his found acceptance, motivation, and joy.
And the conflict always felt so deep-rooted too. Francis’s parents, Arthur’s grief, Allistair and his metaphorical ties to Arthur’s personal struggles/bad tendencies, smoking, depression, self-enforced responsibility via unfortunute circumstance, bad repetitive workplace, etc., I can really go on tbh. They were all really interesting and well-written! They all fed off each other, influenced one another, and despite the variety of problems, it painted a darn gloomy picture of the utter monotony of Kirkland’s daily life. I wanted every detail, every update. But I also found myself pausing, trying to see on a bigger sense the deeper causes/meanings of his struggles, trying to scope out the broader implications of your narrative and the messages it sends (side-note: there was a paragraph stating that Arthur though real life was better than heaven maybe, since we got rain and they don’t. I really liked it - I’ve always had an obsession with rain, liking it better than clouds or sun, and I could never figure out why. I just assumed that it was aesthetically nice to play my flute with the rain soundtracking outside. But I think I’ve started to reason that quirk of mine out with the ideas presented in this story and I’m hella grateful. Those little ideas for my brain to appreciate while falling to sleep are what I mean by messages:). I was glued to the pages, I really wanted to see how time changed Arthur’s perspectives and how Arthur’s opinion of them all would change along with it.
Especially the tension with him and Francis - you wrote an amazing relationship that is incredibly supportive, but also one with its own problems to sort out, and you never tried to sell the (rather foolish) notion that love is fixing them, or that love is what got them through their hardship - only that having a body to sleep with at night was helpful, and that they have a bond that is so precious and reliable to the other, that they wouldn’t dare dream of a life without the other at their side. I loved 8 years into their adult lives with each other, I loved Francis staying for this (amazing, fantastic, actually tho this is such a condemning move for his life but he did it for his adopted brother like OMG) older brother who (as a freaking 18 year old, grieving and panicking and stressing) became the twins’s guardian (like a BAMF), I loved Arthur trying to be romantic for the romance lover and Francis being there in all their hardships (within reason of course, thankfully they stopped themselves before those actions got too far). And, to my pleasant surprise, for vice versa! Such a pleasant, endearing, yet non-deceitful relationship to read. A real life story that proves that you don’t need romantic surrealism to have characters and relationships to truly adore. You got both sides, romantic and realistic, which I love so damn much I think it’s one of my favorite written couples I’ve ever read. Gosh, if the only conflict thing happening was the stuff about the held-off marriage, I still would have loved this.
And holy hell, I actually really liked that last chapter - it shows where all the demons and angels in their lives began, not in any particular situation, more in the atmosphere of life back then - and it was so nice to see not only their relationships strengthening, but also the cracks forming, too. Amazingly written characters and relationship dynamic, that never once adhered to the fake romantic bull I see sometimes, yet always made that relationship one worth fighting for, at least for these two men. Well done!
Every side character had their own struggles too - GerIta wedding coming soon, Prussia and Hungary’s thingy, Matt’s degree/anxiety, Al’s insecurity regarding his family and America (ha, kinda ironic lol), even Erika’s climb into Arthur’s most hated industry, Natalia and Al’s troubles with one another, and a ton more. I really was loving every aspect of this story. And nice touches of third POV/changing first POV btw - those short moments of seeing the FAC fam, Erika, and the other characters in the author’s eyes instead of Arthur’s were really revealing and noteworthy, especially with Francis and his job/side of the relationship. We got to see Francis face challenges too! Those sentences were like candy - not too much to make me sick/make the story confusing, but enough to put me on a philosophical sugar high. This was such a relaxing, flowing, in-depth story to read otherwise, but I was always on the edge of my seat suddenly whenever the focus went to someone else.
But throughout it all, there was still things that made Arthur feel alright. Erika in particular was lovely to read, as again, real life is extraordinary if you just happen upon the good bits. How the fam helps one another (I was touched by Al’s anxiety near the end, and Allistor’s downtrodden spirit, and all of Matt’s actions EVEN AFTER HIS PANIC ATTACK), how even just one decent coworker could keep Arthur on his feet, how sometimes, just sometimes, public transport, or walking through town, or thinking about his mother, or any thoughtful excursive of his, could make him feel less numb, make him sleep less, make him feel slightly more restful. At a certain point, even these things did not exist ((particularly around Arthur’s horrible sex event (probs my favorite scene, just for how that chapters written *air kiss*), the shiver-inducing mirror incident (a close second fav), and those days of him just sleeping and feeling horrible)). But they were always there, just waiting for him. And Tino and their appointments? Really loved those. I’m not a professional at all, but I hope to get that skilled psychological help someday. It was a delight to read Arthur getting comfortable with opening up.
Life was cheerful/pleasant when a few months into therapy, and like every good story, the ending was so satisfying! Not because of a happy ending, that has yet to be seen, but the characters all end on more or less stable ground. I loved the last last chapter, because it emphasized how life really has no good and bad, just stable and non-stable, even during hardships and chemical imbalances and grief and joy and success and gratefulness. Arthur’s had a mother, brothers, Francis, friends - but also a lot of problems come from those very groups, all with different levels of severity at different times. It’s been in the back of my head, for example, that FrUK must’ve had struggles in the beginning of their relationship being gay in this society, but I just assumed that wasn’t the premise of the story, so I thought little of it. However, after that last chapter, I realized it; they both found stability with being gay, since they have each other and, eventually, they built up a support group that built up their confidence to be who they are. At the second-to last chapter, Arthur was finding stability with his troubles a bit later into life, and in the very last chapter, you give the reader hope that stability could be permanent, since in the narrative of 20 long chapters, he’s never had a problem with being gay - it was only a problem when he was younger, when he was unstable with it. I’m making this review a few days after finishing this wonderful story, to consolidate my thoughts on it, and it was this realization that got me to finishing this review. Absolutely wonderful.
It’s whether or not (mostly by luck, really) those problems get him down faster than those loved ones can cheer him up. So now he needs professional help to feel stable (which is acceptable and ENCOURAGED!) - his journey through the whole story was about him feeling unstable (stuck, unhappy, unmotivated) to him feeling stable again (to a point where bad things happen still but life isn’t hurting him as concisely in principal as before - like him being alright with both Zwilingly accepting or denying his employment). I can’t articulate it right without 20 long, beautiful, said-just-right chapters of my own, I probably wrote things wrong there, h lol, I’ve probably missed some things in this word block, but either way I loved it. I’ve been meaning to get therapy next month (ahhh, so soon) when I go to college, and stuff like this really makes me proud/happy about my decision. Really, thank you:)
This was so awesome to read! So much effort and ideals and narratives packed into this novel - loved every word, if you couldn’t tell. Thank you for putting time into this! Thank you for making me relive why Hetalia’s premise has made so many dark, but hopeful, stories - the characters have so many ways of being great, and your versions are now some of my favs (especially France). Thank you for years of writing - you’re gonna be a great author someday, you already are in my eyes. If this is the beginning, I’m very excited for the stories you have yet to tell.
Have a nice day! Thank you thank you thank you:)

As Always,

Happy Writing~

I've really enjoyed this story and it always made me happy to see an update, as a reader it's felt like a journey, so thank you for writing :)

I know this message was probably written a while ago but you have no need to apologise hun! I would've reviewed sooner but this story got me lost in it. While I cannot say the same for most of the stories I read, I would like to say that this is one of the only stories that I am not willing to stop reading after a few chapters. I have to say, you've got my interest and I'm reading on.

just wanted to know that i'm still following this closely and i love youuuuu. you inject a lot of relatable realism and modern-life ennui into this work, and it's a freaking joy to read

i love it and i love you as an author. pls keep writing, ive seen more potential in this than other fics with 10k follows

Beautiful chapter as always!

Hi, I just want to say that this is an amazing story and you have done an incredible job keeping me hooked on every chapter. I don’t read a lot of stories anymore but it’s always nice to find one that I can follow and know I won’t be disappointed. I love this story so far, and I look forward to future chapters~ take care x

This is one of the most well written and painfully accurate depiction of mental illness, and the characterisations are perfect! You need more recognition. Eagerly awaiting the next update :)

The pacing was perfectly fine just to let you know :) And everything else amazing too, as always!

Oh my god I love this chapter. Ive never left a review before but I've been reading this since the beginning and I love (and internally cry at) everything. I love the characterizations and the depth you go into for everyone. They feel like real people and it's amazing.
I absolutely could tell you had a cat previously or currently do. As a cat owner, you nailed cat behavior. And I love that Francis decided on this. Pets make amazing emotional and mental health support. My cat also clings to me when I'm in a funk, so cats are really skilled at reading our emotions so I'm happy that Arthur has a kitty to bond with.
I just love everything about this and how Arthue is starting to... accept things more. He needs help and he doesn't have to accept more unnecessary pressure at his job.
And I also love the support and handling Arthur and Francis had for Matthew. That broke my heart that he has anxiety, but it made me happy to see Arthur handle it so well and see Matthew recover in the moment.
All in all this is a very long way to say I love this story and your writing.

Yay, I love therapist Tino. Also, I really like the way you built up Arthur's depression. I like how it's more bone-weary than melodramatic; I feel like that's more relatable to me. Thank you for hanging in there!

I love this story so much and am happy to see an update! I love precious princess Francis being hurt, too, always a nice touch.

Your writing style is stunning, and I really appreciate this fic for how realistically it portrays Arthur's situation.

Ahhhh amazing! I loved it, especially the precious, long-suffering Francis. What an angel xxxx

Yay! A new chapter! I've been looking forward to this so much!

Once again, I really like your portrayal of Arthur and his depression. Your story has a great atmosphere - reading it I feel a sense of floating, so it definitely fits in with Arthur's mindscape. Also, I'm a sucker for angst! Keep up the good work!