I wouldn't worry about this chapter being slowly paced, I enjoyed everyone interacting with each other so warmly. Still don't trust Susie though.

Alright, pretty good start for a story. The use of the imaginary friend character was well done for the purpose of inspiring dread and paranoia. I'm going to venture a guess that this ultimately has something to do with Bill though. Looking forward to more.

The part that I really liked was that one when Pacifica just walks to Dipper and his friends, defying her dad's bad orders. That little scene was great. I could see it as if it was in front of me. The look on her face. Dipper too. And despite Pacifica is taking a little step to go against her father and accept the friendship of these kids, she at the same time looks afraid and is very careful about this new thing.

That was a nice part.

I also thought she maybe was feeling a little bad with all of them talking in front of her about how her dad wants her to act as a terrible person and despise common people. I thought she would shout "please! stop talking about that!".

About Stan and Watson, I think you did great taking things to a little more mature level during their conversations. I don't like their sories much, but I guess Grunkle Stan really can talk and behave like that when the kids are not around. Many details in all that Watson told him. I guess some of them will be important for the next chapters.

Well, now Pacifica is the only one who doesn't know about Mabel yet. I think it would be great to see the kids and Soos wondering between themselves about Mabel. Maybe Grenda and Candy exchanging some words when the others can't hear them. I think Soos, being closer to the twins, could try to have a little more serious talk with Dipper. He does have this sense of responsibility of protecting his little friends.

I still love Dipper being protective of Mabel. Honestly, I want to see how far he can go to protect her, but I know things are gonna get really bad for that to happen.

Nice chapter. I hope you do good in all you have to do.

I like this story. Keep it up. :)

keep the good work and good luck with your classes

Redrum redrum!

Another good chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Amazing story, I have been hooked from the very beginning, please update!
XD :D

-SolSunFanFics

The plot thickens further! With one half of the chapter devoted to a nightmare vision and the other to the fun and friendships of the Mystery Gang, you've created a nice sense of contrast. In regards to the latter, I particularly liked Pacifica once again failing to understand popular slang, Dipper's growing infatuation with Pacifica (and Mabel's utter glee upon "hearing" about it), Stan's reminiscence on his childhood with Ford, and Pacifica's attempts to conquer her nervousness around Preston Northwest. Oh, and from the nightmare vision, a nice little touch was the response to the seemingly-infinite hallway: time and again, I've seen characters awed, stunned, alarmed or just plain disturbed by infinite hallways, and it's nice to find an instance of this when a character ends up getting simply annoyed.
Also, "Stanford is not here. He's at the party." Hmmm. I have to say, this little message is made all the more tantalizing for its ambiguity: does this refer to Stanley in the role of Stanford - and is this a hint that Stan is being nudged into the role of Jack Torrance in more ways than one? Or is this a reference to the real Stanford Pines - and if so, what will this mean for Mabel and the others as the nightmares (figurative and literal) continue?
A very interesting third chapter, and I look forward to reading more!

This is as close i'll get o read the actual novel

Okay, finally read the whole thing properly.

This is now really going differently from the past version. Dick confronted Dipper about Mabel just like that! And then, Dipper told everything about Mabel's incident to the rest! Well, except for Susie.
It's like everything is out of the mystery box now! That was unexpected.

Dipper: "Darn it!... I didn't expect this to happen!"
That's me. I was feeling exactly as Dipper.

I guess it was better they told them. They are Mabel's friends, and it's not something so serious. At least for now.

I think the most logical thing after all this is that Mabel tell Dipper about her "shining", right? She is sharing it with Dick, why not share it with Dipper too? He's her bro-bro.

About Susie, Mabel said she USED to be imaginary, and that she came back to "live" in her mind. I don't know why Mabel is so sure about this. Maybe she's wishing Susie doesn't go again, or she knows something else about her.

Now, this "shining" concept, it actually sounds interesting. The same with the kind of ghosts that appear in this story. I'm wondering now why Mabel has a very peculiar shining, and if it has anything to do with her summer at Gravity Falls.

And... well, we all know there's something MORE about room 217 than what Dick is telling. I hope he knows what he's doing, he seems like a nice and wise man. I actually have been imagining him like a character Morgan Freeman would play.

I think you're managing the characters and their personalities well. Maybe give Candy and Grenda a little more attention. Like, making them be the center of some conversations, or have a scene where they are talking just between themselves, so you don't end up with them only "being there" at the end of the story, as additional characters that only react or speak after the others. I always liked the idea of Candy and Grenda having their own fun intimate dynamic, with their own code words and all that girls stuff. After all, when Mabel isn't around, it's technically just they against the world.

Finally, some minor "Easter Eggs" things, I liked the little fun thing that is going on between Dipper and Wendy, and am I wrong or Dick just said he stayed once at the real Overlook Hotel in Colorado?!

Oooh, visions, conversations with mental constructs, merry meetings, telepathy and foreshadowing! We've received our first tentative glimpse of our haunted locale and the horrors within, and curiosity is thoroughly piqued; I'm very interested to see the full extent of the role that Susie plays in this story.

Meanwhile, I'm kind of glad Waddles isn't going to be included in this little trip: given the Sanity Slippage prevalent around the Overlook in other media, I really wouldn't want to imagine what would end up happening to everyone's favourite pig.

Also, character interactions and evolutions in this chapter are quite well done: among other things, it's a nice touch to see Soos becoming something of an artist: we've always known he's been a tinkerer and a builder, but this is a development towards the purely aesthetic - almost as if Mabel's own artistic tendencies have started rubbing off on Soos. Meanwhile, Pacifica going completely head-over-heels for Dipper is simulteneously adorable and hilarious, and only made more amusing by Mabel's reaction to it.

So far, it's a slow burner of a story, but character interactions keep things from becoming stagnant: characterization and dialog is spot-on, particularly Stan's loveably-abraisive old showman; you've grasped his voice so well I can easily imagine him actually speaking these lines in the show. All in all, a good second chapter, and I look forward to seeing where the plot takes us next.

A very interesting start!
The timeline leading up to this story alone raises all kinds of intriguing questions: with the portal presumably inactive, what is Bill's new plan and will it be explored in this story? (also, given the Shining fusion, it would be very interesting to see exactly how) Is Ford even alive at this point? What original adventures have replaced the canonical ones with? Given that Dipper and Mabel never discovered the truth about Stan - given that he never had any incentive to tell them, without the means of activating the portal - will they learn about it within this story? And, most pertinently of all, how "pure" will this infusion of The Shining be - similar plot, same backstory, or will you be granting an all-new origin to the haunted hotel and a radically different succession of events?

And on top of that, we have Mabel's imaginary friend and the "bad things" she showed her. Hmmmmm. Somewhat apt that Mabel ended up with the psychic powers in this story, given her unique, eccentric outlook on reality.

Also, a little sad to hear that Boyz Crazy never happened in this timeline. Not that I'm immensely attached to the events of the episode or anything like that, but I just find it a tad gloomy considering that this logically means Sev'ral Timez is still caged and doomed to servitude - not to mention potential execution and replacement by a newer batch of clones.

All in all, a good start. I look to reading more soon...

Well this shows and explains a lot of stuff. It does seem interesting. The characters are in character and Dick is well made. I feel like he is essential to the story's development.

Not bad. Say, have you watched Film Theory's video on IT? He actually talks about other Stephen King books too, mostly IT and The Shining. The video may give you a couple of ideas.

I bit of a calmer chapter this time, but I like it. Can't wait to see where this goes! I'll be waiting!