Really good chapter my guy, cab't wait for the next one.

More JoJo references, please.

Atlesians taking with my daughterly weapon?! how crude!

they should have atleast taken her out to dinner first~

I was speechless just by the prompt cant wait to read this

oui oui, looks like metal rex..? eli..? metal eliph, is having fun.

Edge

the world gives and does not forget, for victory is put in history where as defeat is forgotten, where battles are won and lost none are spared for war knows no victors. but only illusions.

I'm gonna be honest, at first I thought you had blue-balled me. With the whole "three years past." Thank you for actually showing us the training. It was pretty standard stuff, but there's nothing wrong with a simple story well told, and this chapter was very well contained.

I've got a couple nitpicks on this one.

He should've recognized the White Fang immediately. There aren't many people running around in Grimm masks.

I don't think that Clyde should've told him about the training. As someone who attempted to join the Navy, you don't get a warning. You're thrown to the wolves almost immediately.

So I'm a little confused. You've got a good intro, but I have no idea how old this kid is. Would he even be able to swing that chainsaw effectively?

Also, I'd try to find a way to signal to your readers that you're shifting locations/perspective. The shift between the SDC guy and Herman was so sudden that I had to reread the chapter to make sure that I hadn't accidentally missed something.

Wunderbar this actually a really great so consider me intrigued dear boy

from this chap onwards, the chapter number you wrote down is behind. you have two chapters saying 'Chapter 8'

Nice Warhammer 40,000 references

The title could be a little different like "Prologue", and that would give a background to your character's story, his drive, his understanding, and shows how he thinks.

And the story has to have some friction. Like a small argument to show the other possible outcomes to make the readers think what could happen. The story is great, but needs to have emotional moments that affect the reader. Its like playing with their emotions. In the story, the wife runs with the main character without saying a word of opposition. Have her show emotion.

For example, "'You need to run! Take Herman with you and run for your lives!' Caleb said to Lydia in a frantic voice. 'No! Not without you! We need you! Come with us. When we vanish, they will stop looking for you. Please,' Lydia stopped for a moment, trying to hold back her tears. 'I beg you. You are everything to me and Herman.' she said quietly. 'Come..' 'NO!' Caleb shouted, interrupting Lydia. 'I.. I will follow after I have dealt with them.' Caleb said trying to calm Lydia down. Lydia bit back a sob 'O.. Ok.'
Caleb turned to Herman..."

That shows resistance, YOU know how the story ends, NOT the readers. Have some plot twists to keep the readers on the edge of their seats and continue reading to see the out come of the whole conflict.

Bro, I like your story i been looking for a story like this a long time ago, Im tired of the usual cliche of most stories keep the good work