I need more! I need more!

Noice

Really enjoyed it so far keep it coming

Asari Preparatory Academy? Does it come with brass bars and cages? Offer dance classes? Little Jannie might need a few dance classes.

Again you insert a few nuggets of awe-dom in here. Having Jane stomp her feet and walking back as LOUDLY as possible instantly reminds me of when my girls are MAD! and want Daddy to know without any doubt whatsoever. Aria was a bit of a surprise here, but she is a mother herself, and perhaps she is amused to see Saren shackled with a human hatchling.

This has got to be the most original Mass Effect story I've read in a while. Pretty rare coming up with something this different, so I immediately fell right into it. And you surprised me with several things.

Overdigited hands - Of course! Simply never thought of it this way, but if I met someone with 8 fingers, I'd probably be weirded out and staring. 'Overdigited' is a great term.

Flexible face and shallow voice - again, thoughtfulness here. I've never really understood what a 'flanged' voice was, other than there is another component to the voice box? But a duel-toned voice makes sense; two different octaves at the same time. For someone who could speak more musically, a monotone person would probably sound dull.

I'm really digging this story.

Hah, Nihlus has shown up at last, and Saren has to defend her to Nihlus as his Ward-and illustrates just how much she means to him by revealing he's made arrangements in case of his death, on top of which she's his exception to the rule. Nice touch. I do wonder whether we'll see Elayna again, as one of Shepard's few friends, which she has too few of. Maybe in a few years when she's graduated top of her class and is a Commando? I'm also glad Elayna talked some sense into her concerning Aria. I don't doubt she's right, Aria would have hired her on the spot, but... She just hasn't seen how deep and dark and ugly Aria's world is, not yet. Saren has protected her from that, so far-but Aria would have tossed Shepard in the deep end, sink or swim with no help. Shepard would have swum, of course, but she'd never have been the same...

Also, Shepard got expelled for accidentally blowing up the chemistry lab? Sniggers... I have a feeling she'll be an extraordinary adult one day, can't wait to see what happens next. Keep up the good work.

i love it

Yaaay update!
Little bit of a strange though.
So Shep's going to run away to join her own people?
Hopefully more comes soon!

Hi! Please, update soon! It is really great!

I totally love it. They're both are just so helpless with this and it's both cute and amusing. And hilarious. I'm curious, is it going to be no-reapers AU, or are you going to tear our hearts apart with Jane killing Saren? Please don't, I wouldn't be able to bear it.

Update soon!

Plleeeaaasee update soon

I love the characterization of hard ass military buffs having their facade cracked by children. A younger saren is such an interesting concept, and I'm completely down for him developing into a father figure. Shepard already seems like such a handful, but better to teach him his position.

Welp, here we are at Chapter 5, and there's no more "Next Chapter" option. Boy am I disappointed. This story right here is something unique, and that is the most important part of a fanfiction. While most other ME authors out there are writing about yet another version of there take on the games, here you stand with the few that give us something not only unique, but also with the skills too covey a story in a way that we see the ME universe in a new way. I honestly can't wait for future updates, and I know this story is going to be a good long one by the times it's done (Unless you stop at ME1 of course). Anyways, good luck, and here's to future updates, may they be quick and gripping...
...Archangel Writings

Great chapter! More, please. :)

Excellent! Funny!