Hmm should I update this?

Please update soon

New story soon?

Unfortunately I don't have any ideas about what could happen next but I do know that whatever will happen will likely be interesting.

J'aime bien continu.

Follow

So many pieces not to mention saiyansaiyaman

Sharpener gets piece but does he tell videl

Piece 4

He gets can come to lunch looking for bulma who is eating with gohan

That's three pieces to videls gohan puzzle

I would like to see Trunks and Goten testing Gohan's ability to remain calm. And add a Mirai Trunks please! Ow! with the long hair he wore when saving bulma and baby trunks

Eh, I think this chapter might have been not as good because of how out of character Vegetables is. And I don't think Gohan is that ballsy. Maybe have Bulma give the students a tour of capsule Corp? Think the story is good it just needs to be thought through more!

Sorry, but you're right. This wasn't a very good chapter. Jerk Vegeta is just not very interesting and feels out of character, he feels more like Freeza/Cell arc Vegeta than Buu arc Vegeta. Just him talking about his heritage isn't funny or interesting either, it's just weird. He feels more like a caricature of his most obnoxious traits than an actual person. It's something I see with several people primarily focusing on writing Gohan/Videl, they don't seem to get Vegeta. Either they turn him into a caricature even worse than abridged Vegeta or they force him into a sort of father-like role for Gohan.

Vegeta aside, your writing slowly improves over your fics, but what you really lack is a plan and a plot outline. You need to know in advance where you want to take your story and what makes the story actually stand out. As it seems right now you just start on a premise (like a field trip to Capsule Corp) but you don't seem to have any ideas further down the line. Some people can write on the seat of their pants but some cannot, and if you can't you need to plan out your stories in advance or they simply stall and crash down. You can't rely on your audience to write your story for you, it's your story. You can get some hints but the bulk has to come from the author.

Awesome chapter.

Great job so far! I’m on pins and needles waiting for your next update. I hope it’s soon. I keep checking back on the story to see if a new chapter was posted and I just didn’t get an email about it for some reason.
Also, thanks for making Sharpner a relatable character that actually fits in with that group of friends and is accepting of Gohan. It makes for much better reading.
Anyway, keep it up and I hope to see an email soon about an update on this story!