I like the premise and the writing is well executed. Nabiki coming across as that pernicious is great and well within character. The fic faulters with ranmas characterization, however, and looses credibility the moment he blabs to tofu. Worse, there doesnt seem to be any appreciable difference between ranko and ranma aside from the protests that she is a girl. It starts good, but inevitably falls into the usual rut of ranmas character.

It has/had potential, but feels like a great idea that fell to the path of least resistance.

I have to say that it would be vary funnily to watch. But for over $30000 ranma better be repaired to stay as a girl a long long time.

Will Nabiki try to really girl up Ranma? LOL

this chapter hurt the story

1. ranma telling tofu means ranma already lost nabiki has an easy out when its over i mean nabiki getting out in the end makes sense but you should be clever with it

2. honestly tofu breaks the setting any ways its why tofu was written out of the manga so early on hell if you REALLY wanted to use him ranma should have lied and claimed he wanted to try being female as he thought he may be trans that would work with out breaking the story

3. yuka her self pointed out a bit plot hole ranma is acting normal how is that exactly entertainment for nabiki wouldnt it make more sense to force ranma to act more girly

i just want to point out akane would never treat ranma that way after a head injury she is always careful when ever there is even a hint something is wrong with ranma see the child mushrooms and the time she had super strength and the battle dogi

she was always careful with ranma it was ranma who wanted to humiliate her after things where solved

oh also chi pathways do not work that way you could not spot a head trauma with it and even then tofu would just think ranma had healed already

you are clearly trying to have some grounding in this story (as much as you can with ranma 1/2)

hell the various people in the house should have known you do NOT sleep with a head injury thats a very very bad idea

still im enjoying the story

Fantastic

You know. I don't really believe that Ranma would accept this. Nabiki is not nearly as intimidatingas she's made out to be. There's no particularly compelling reason to go along with her nonsense.

"Dobi Kinante" is very clearly an anagram of "Nabiki Tendo". Nobody of Nabiki's level of planning would do something so blatant as use a name like that unless it was meant as a hint. That said, it's interesting that Ranma hadn't recognized her through that disguise.

Ah, there's no getting out of the clutches of a loan shark easily. Better put your brains to work and come up with a cunning plan that will actually work. Or resign yourself to being forever en-femme.

Well well, an update! Nice to see. I appreciate that the "Am I Pretty" incident and discussions that are doubtlessly taking place in regards to it occur offscreen, and that Ranma clearly has no idea that ever happened. It's kind of a fun in-joke/plot device, and Ranma doesn't even know that, at least cause wise, he came up with perhaps the solidest cover story he possibly could have, by hearkening back to something he doesn't even remember. Hehe...

...oh Ranma. Why on Earth would you have ever been under the impression this would only last a few days? That was never specified, and you know Nabiki would never let you off the hook EASILY. To be honest, considering the size of that debt it even kind of makes sense. And hey, things actually haven't blown up as of yet, and you're getting along with Akane again, so it's not all bad. Not that I really expect that to last given another chapter or two, but, well, everything seems fine NOW, at least.

Fun chapter on the whole. Keep it up!

Hey, at least you got it out in the end, and that's the important part, no?

Really, Ranma, you should've known that this wasn't going to be nice and quick. That's putting too much trust in Nabiki.

Oh well, at least you'll be a world-class actor when this is done.

Cool start to this story! I never really liked girl Ranma...I got annoyed everytime she popped up in the manga, but I don't hate her that much. I think this story will make me consider Ranko/Ranma/the pig tailed girl for a second chance. I like the characterization you gave Nabiki, and the funny narrations by Ranma.

A very cute idea with a believable set up, although I hope Nabiki gets more involved than just a simple onlooker for her own amusement. Her having some sort of... behind the scenes plan would make more sense, though I'm guessing that'll come later.

I feel that the Axe Body Spray moment with Akane probably would have given it away. Why would a /girl/ spray that on herself? It's also a bit weird in general. I mean, Ranma washes himself quite often. Usually to soak in hot water so he can be a guy, but still!

Either way, I'm surprised the truth came out so quickly, though Tofu would be the most likely to find it out. Eager to see how /that/ turns out~

Happy writing!

~Yasha-HebiHime

good stuff

Well, I hope he has a ready-made excuse cause otherwise the gig is up.