Hi! I really... well, “enjoyed” seems a weird way of describing reading such a sad scene, but you’ll know what I meanSome great pacing and vocabulary here, creating a really vivid atmosphere. Your dialogue flowed well and sounded natural, too. Only one issue stood out, the punctuation around dialogue. It’s standard to use commas rather than periods when describing speech, like thisKilled himself to save us,” added Dean.

That aside, this is good stuff. Keep writing xx