Reviews for Easy Prey
OldSchoolJohto chapter 1 . 9/1/2019
“Maternity senses”
I think the phrase you’re looking for is maternal instincts, but it might be better if you could find something more specific and visceral. Her heart squeezing? The memory of a child she loves?

Fun concept though, quick and clean.
Motherflipping Oak chapter 1 . 6/21/2018
Despite the short word count, you really managed to create a haunting atmosphere. Excellent work.
kintsugii chapter 1 . 6/19/2018
[The old, warning story passed down throughout Unova and Kalos: Do not help the child that screams in the dark.]
I quite like this summary! It’s succinct but with enough meat on it to be terrifying, and it’s got a nice hook for reading. A minor detail: this summary, combined with the pokemon you’ve listed in the tags, basically spoils the ending/the reveal of what the child is, for me. I’m not sure how to approach this succinctly, as it’s good to have tags and even better to have a strong summary, but I figured I’d point it out.

I quite like the length of this piece. It’s just long enough to tell a tense story, but it doesn’t feel like things are dragging. I’m addition, because the aforementioned summary/tag combo makes the ending a little obvious, this is just the right length to offset that (if it were much longer, without the mystery of the plot to push things along, it’d get tedious). If anything I think you could add a tiny bit more detail at the middle (when they’re walking through the forest) to really drive home how wrong things are, but this pacing is overall really nice.

A quick note on descriptions: overall you’ve got a really nice knack for things! My favorite bits were “flush you from safety” and “claws etched into her shoulder” because they’re pretty unique ways of describing a scene. You do overuse a few words, though: dark/darkness occurs 8 times in here, and twice in a row near the end, which is pretty significant for a story that’s this tightly-packed. I wouldn’t exactly recommend putting in direct synonyms either, because you already used dim/black/etc quite a bit too; instead, I’d recommend finding other ways to describe a scary scene to people. You do sound pretty well at the beginning and the end (the dissonant child scream and the twig snap), for example, and my other favorite bit “warded off by the glow” is actually about the waning bit of light, which I thought was a really clever subversion! Darkness as a sign of bad things gets used a lot, especially in horror, to the point that it doesn’t carry much weight. You’ve proven that you have a strong grasp of description, so don’t be afraid to rock the boat a little!

Overall, this was a nicely chilling piece. Great stuff!