Awesome book and don't care about what virgina, chilly and best queen think.
If they don't like the story they should read it.

I’m okay with this story even though I think a RWBY section should be put in the crossover category since this is one. Also hope those jerks get what they deserve.

This is the best story ever written, the plot has it all including the atmosphere.

So if anyone has a problem, they can leave!

Oi, Virginia, Chilly and Best Queen, if you call this writer the worst then your only calling yourself worst.

Leave her alone or else I will hunt you down like the worst dogs ever.

And plus, if you were to write one more comment on the writer, I am not afraid to track you down.

Look baby girl, you suck absolute ass at writing stories AND characters! Unless you make any of your characters gay or anyone else part of the lgbt community :(
I swear to god if you’re a homophobic little bitch, I will literally come find you and scalp your sorry, tiny brain!fuck you bitch

Bitch your not special so don’t even try making anyone think anything else. You’re self-made character just has to be so overly detailed and given sooooooo much of the storytime, because she’s too special not to take time and the spotlight away from the far more important characters. I bet you look absolutely nothing like your pretty and slutty little “skinny legend”. Just leave the story writing up to someone who actually good at them

Hey everybody! Give it up for the obvious self-insert OC, who is just a Mary Sue. Whoever “Guest” is, good job on your honest review, because I also got sick of little miss alien princess getting all of the good qualities and traits in this story of shallow wish fulfillment for the author. I bet your little self-insert was supposed to be you, but better in every way. Why don’t you just give up already?

Oh God this feels bad….
Well this is the longest time I’ve gone without reviewing compared to when the chapter came out.

Double review here we go:
Chapter 30:
This was a cute chapter
It was a cute little bonding scene. I liked that Hiro was still suspicious that Tadashi may or may not have apologised to Summer.
I know I’ve griped about Summer’s abilities but looking at it overall, having her doubt herself is a neat little way to tie everything together as well as let the others shine a bit more. I think this is going to be a really great way to showcase more of Summer’s character, but more so I think this will strengthen Ruby’s character a lot more. Ruby is going to have to bare the pressure and burden of the safety and responsibility of others on her own. It will be interesting to see how things move on from here.
Aww more bonding between brothers, another nice scene and character development.

Overall, I enjoyed it. You did need a bit of cool down after everything that happened prior, so this tied it up quite nicely.

Chapter 31:
Evil exposition, I love it.
Lavender is still my favourite character in your story. I like that she’s not calling Summer and Ruby her nieces, it’s showing that she doesn’t really hold them as family, or at the very least she doesn’t deem them as worthy as her sister.
Salem’s anger is perfect. She is getting so frustrated and annoyed with delays and her minions being side-tracked by their own personal vendettas. The only way she will praise them is with results and not petty words.
I’m going to be honest I would love to know where Salem is located so that she is hiding in plain sight. I’ll get into what Salem said later.
Ooo Summer got sick, double trouble. Honestly more development for Honey Lemon, which means more interactions.
New theory time: this relates back to my theory in a previous chapter and what Salem said this chapter. Is Summer truly the most powerful SEW. It’s a trap! Maybe it’s Ruby, and building up Ruby’s abilities will be bad? Either way, this gets more and more exciting.

Once again, super sorry this is late, not going to make up for it being that way, but at least you can read what I thought now.
Can’t wait for the next chapter
Keep up the awesome work :D

THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST STORY EVER!
Pls update this year, you are amazing! Literally you have my heart. I’m planning on making a Hiro fanfic myself, but it’s gonna be on Wattpad.
(It’s not released yet, but soon..)

My fanfic is gonna be where Secret Of Wings Periwinkle meets Hiro, it’s basically like how Peri and Tinker Bell’s relationship are with each other but with Hiro.

Enough about me, but I’ve been re-reading your story every single day! I love it so so much, thank you for existing!
And I also love the creativity you put In this story, ITS INCREDIBLE!

I have some questions:

How did you make up that planet and language? Is it from a movie, show? Or just from your mind. It’s amazing! Its so creative! I love it!️

Anyways, hopefully you’ll enjoy this review and I’ll be working on my fanfic for here and on Wattpad. My Wattpad user is the same as this one ‘hxartfelt’ you can follow if you have it or this acc.
But for now, Periwinkle ends up meeting Jack Frost on Wattpad.(and that’s randomly said, but oh well.) Like I said enjoy this review, have fun, smile, and have a great day!️

Oh God, please just take this entire fanfiction off of the site, this is so painful to read, I couldn't even get through the first full chapter before I needed to scroll down for this review post.
Also, if you're going to do a crossover, put the damn story in the crossovers section. FFS.

I like this story. However, my main issue is your OC. She was just a Mary Sue that made all of the other characters look boring and useless. You have potential, but if you’re going to make an OC, they can’t be so perfect. I’m guessing that this OC of yours was a self-insert of your ideal self. I’m not saying your story was bad, I just found your OC to be the overall problem. You’re doing great, but I think you’re still learning. Keep up the good work.

As you can well see, I severely failed my goal...no guarantee I'll review the next chapter of your RWBY fic right now, but I will get to it, this one is just far overdue.

Awesome chapter :D
Abigail should have been the obvious choice, but I like to overthink and will sometimes skim over the obvious. That shot breaking the sentimental moment was beautiful though, I liked that it was kinda out of no where. But what I loved even more was Abigail's refusal of letting Summer heal her dad, that was great and on point.
Good job on keeping Fred from saying something stupid, or harmful, maybe even something profound ;)
While I do like that they are going to keep Summer's 'inevitable' destruction a secret, this is bound to backfire eventually, cause a rift, do something between Hiro and the group.
Alright not much to cover honestly since it was just discussing the Silver Eyes Curse and that Summer wanted to keep it a secret.
Only thing I have mixed feelings on is the sudden 180s Callahan and Abigail took; more so Callahan really. I liked that it happened and following up on their emotions and the unconditional love they have as a family is really great, and they should reconcile as they did so that the slate is somewhat clean. What I think I dislike about this scene is that it's just sudden, Callahan didn't really question it; the only person that he thought wouldn't abandon him is now here, they left off on such a bitter note. This outcome doesn't seem like it works with the setup, Abigail betrayed her dad, never spoke to him since, suddenly when she shows up at a random warehouse Callahan is ok with that, enough to stop his already deranged mind? I know I'm ranting about a few lines, but it just didn't feel like the payoff lived up to what it could have been.
Ok rant over, speculation time. So they can only stop the curse if they kill the Salem. Cool. So does that mean Salem controls the curse specifically? It doesn't sound like it's an independent thing separate from her powers. So how does she know who the most powerful SEW is? In theory if we're going about in all time, person A is weaker than B, at one point in time person B is the strongest but now currently Summer is the strongest. What is stopping the next SEW generation from being stronger? If I recall correctly it only happens in the Rose family, so is she the original ancestor as a comparison? Curious. Maybe I misread something somewhere?

Overall, a bit repetitive on the Silver Eye secret but gotta make sure everyone is in the know. I am so sorry that it took this long to get a review out, I will review the next chapter of RWBY when I get the chance.

Can't wait for the next chapter
Keep up the awesome work :D

Once again I apologise for this really late review, but it's here now. Forgive me DX

This was a really good chapter
I love that deep down Summer and Tadashi do care about each other even if it's subconscious. I enjoyed that I could see Summer's frustrations and the similarities between the situations she's faced.
What I really liked about this scene was that Tadashi's emotions are linked with his robotic appendage; in the previous episode you gave a hint that I didn't pick up on regarding Summer and Tadashi's relationship. I loved that Tadashi in the previous chapter made a truce with Summer using his robotic hand, but now that everything is set right he's actually committed to seeing through the truce using his actual hand. I loved it.
At first when I read that Callahan was on the Grimm Queen's side, I thought the Grimm were just going to maul him for failing Salem. I don't know why, just something I think would be interesting in an AU.
I'm going to be honest, the seer grimm was not the first thing that came to my, for some reason I was thinking a mutant crab...but it clicked eventually. I think it was interesting interpretation of self-destuction with the grimm, if they could capture it, it does end up being a direct link to Salem. I've already said my peace with WoR, so whatever hasn't been shown in canon I care little for.
I told you in my PM that there were two things that I really enjoyed about this chapter, and both of those have to do with Summer.
The first is finally knowing about the rebound effect of the Silver eyes, I know that I complained about it so I'm really grateful there is something there. What I love even more is that it's a curse placed by Salem. With this I get a small motivation piece from Salem, I still don't quite know what she's after but I at least know that she's determined to prevent her destruction. In addition I also get some backstory about the Rose family.
The second is the fact that Summer outright acknowledges this. That is great character development for her, there will always be something lingering in the back of her mind now. Of course there's Atlas, but now that she has more knowledge about her ancestors' history, that begs the question of whether she'll be more conservative of herself, of Ruby, will she be more cautious? How is it going to play out from her?
As for that ending...is that Velvet? That's my only guess.
Only issue, instead of saying lots of greats, just say ancestor. It doesn't cause the sentence to be as long running, and makes it a lot smoother.
Again I apologise for how late this is, two weeks is the worst time I've reviewed, you have my permission to hold it against me.
Looking forward to the chapter
Keep up the awesome :D

p.s. I do think this is one of the best chapters you've done ;)

Awesome chapter :D
The gang’s all back together, kind of. Seems like Ruby and Wasabi should have had that conversation earlier, although height is probably a factor.
I’m just thinking that if Hiro and Tadashi went on holiday for a week and there was a burglary, would Aunt Cass know or have the inkling to check the cameras then? Just a hypothetical scenario that I find interesting to think about.
Tadashi and Summer are really frustrating the other. Same person you’re looking for by the way. And there’s the regret and disappointment in themselves, spoke too soon… I like the contrast between Hiro’s situation in the movie and Tadashi’s predicament now, I would be interested in seeing if Baymax would give a similar speech had Summer not cut in. Although GO Honey Lemon
Creepy Callahan is creepy, I am rightfully disturbed and I love it. Callahan is just not thinking straight, period. It’s not even the fact Hiro remembers his family, it’s that he was too late in kidnapping, he let Hiro gain memories and attachments. If that formula reduced Hiro’s age from 14 to 4, in what dosage and strength would he have to create so that Hiro doesn’t become non-existent, he shot a dart at Hiro and that needs to be reduced by 60 percent. Are there other factors affecting this?
I’m thinking Summer needs to work on her swearing. Swear jar anyone?
I think the only issue I had with this chapter is that it got too repetitive that everyone was exclaiming and saying things at the exact same time. Tadashi and Summer are kind of an exception due to their situation but because everyone else did the exact same thing multiple times prior, I feel like the effect that scene should have had was a little lost on me.
Can’t wait to see the next chapter
Keep up the awesome work :D

I finally got around to finish reading this, this is going to be a long one. I think some stories need reviews to let the author know how they're going, cause they can't read minds. #reviewtocare
But before I begin
To the rude guest reviewer, an amateur is actually a person performing in a field of work but is not paid. Everyone is an amateur in the beginning when doing something or another, there is nothing below an amateur. It is incorrectly used when talking about skill level which is based on terminology such as novice, expert etc. Think I’m wrong? Fight me. I had to study this as a part of my university degree.
Now onto the actual review (oh boy did I make it long...)
Chapters 1-9
Quite an interesting setup, good that Tadashi’s survival was explained. Since I am familiar with the RWBY characters I do find it a bit hard at times to detach myself from the universe and characterisation that I’m familiar with.
Wish I had a scanner that let me auto learn a language
I see a Hunger Games reference with Ilya’s death, I see a lot of references actually…maybe too many. Regardless, I loved the explanation Summer gave to Hiro, she watched her friends her die and that should rightfully affect her
I liked the group offering Summer solutions to her problems regarding her desire to sing in public, that was really sweet.
I loved Salem calling Adam’s arrogance while praising Lavender regardless of her condition.
The dressing room scene was fun, I love that every other girl basically just said ‘no do it for the material possessions.’ Cute, and understandable that they want to take advantage of Summer being able to take advantage of Krei.

Chapter 10-18
I see the word fencing being used whenever Summer is in a sword fight with someone. It confuses me a bit because fencing is usually associated with the modern sport of fighting with a sword rather than actual combat. I think you might mean Lavender has SPEAR as a weapon, I’ve seen sphere and severe, and I was wondering if I missed something. Speaking of Lavender, she’s probably my favourite character in this story, I see cowardice and fear for Salem but most of it comes from jealousy and the deep desire to live on, as a bonus she gets to be powerful.
This is where I question character decisions, they have better threat plans right? The hostile alien people shoot first and ask questions later but they make a deal instead, I know they’re following teamwork, but this a new possible threat what are they thinking? Forget the deal just do it against his will. I just kept asking myself why they didn’t just take of Ren’s helmet when they had the best opportunity rather than chance on the possibility that he could run or fight back as soon as he got out. I’m just saying.
I’m sure the future stuff will be important down the road, but right now it did feel pretty useless and unnecessary. Obviously I’m not a writer, I can only tell you what I think, and I think that you could have skipped out on this section and have it already happened, the characters having no recollection of what happened prior, but the feelings still remain so they could feel like something is off sometime down the line.
I don’t mind that faunus are slaves but the relationship between the two species doesn’t appear very slave/master based, seems like the giants are just really lazy idiots. One just lets their faunus talk to people after closing time and not do something else (DJ occupation or otherwise), the others have to pretend they don’t like faunus but go to trials for faunus rights? I think? I’m lost, here is where I need more lore, not a lot just enough to provide a clearer situation.
I wished Lavender didn’t say Summer Maiden, that made my mind immediately click that Velvet was the maiden, and I know that she shows that a few lines later but I didn’t suspect Velvet up until that point, nothing screamed maiden, so Lavender saying that was a bit of a let down. I love subtlety and you almost nailed it beat for beat.

Chapters 19-26
I loved that Ruby spied on them that was adorable, and she definitely has her own issues to work out
I’m with Tadashi, no one except for Ruby and Hiro should be defending Summer. There hasn’t been any established limit or drawbacks for her powers, and they are in a life or death situation with madmen on the loose, and they are completely aware of this situation. Even then Summer has been quickly forgiven too many times, Ruby seems to be jealous and hasn’t worked anything out with Summer yet.
Callahan? Plot twist I love it.
Getting to know that negative emotions affect Summer's abilities was nice
Ch23-26 have a nice depth, they were really well done. I loved the bonding and conflict between Tadashi, Hiro, and Summer. I need more of this, more doubt, frustrations, conflict in general really. I want to see these characters continually develop and grow, and not have their development be off-screen; like they say ‘show me, don’t tell me’
And Callahan ends it by using chloroform to kidnap Hiro, I enjoyed that ending, a more tense build-up it was great.

Some things in my opinion didn’t do the story justice though:
Some things were moving a bit too fast, and chapter 8 made it worse with the timeline set up. Had the set up been at least 1-2 months I probably would have been a bit more open to earlier concepts.
The part with the chip containing the data of Summer’s species was a bit confusing as to how they created that, I’ll roll with it but I still question it. It is useful for Baymax to know about their conditions though.
I think the earlier chapters suffer from a lack of description and become a bit jumpy and this kinda goes back to chapter 8 where everything has been presumably taken only one week, I feel as though there was too much taking place for it to only be one week’s worth of time. They also had to enrol Summer and Ruby into SFIT and I don’t know how it’s like over there but I waited with baited breath for about 1 and half weeks for my university acceptance email. But that may just be my experience contradicting with a fictional world.
Some aspects suffer from too much detail while other lack it. As an example, the characters (as well as items) and their professions or descriptions after the first mention, I found it a bit too repetitive since I know who the characters are even Zwei. If I forget something about them, I’ll go back to when they were introduced. I know exposition can be the bane of any story but sometimes it helps more than you think; for instance the whole thing with Baymax getting the new chip could be explained in a bit more detail.
So I wasn’t going to comment on it at first because I didn’t think it was that important, but I don’t see any development between Ruby and Wasabi, and now you’re telling me that Hiro and Summer waited at least 5 years to have a kid. (provided that 18 years is the earliest time considered legal, any later and I start questioning it even more). I’m not completely opposed to it, I just don’t see the build up; Ruby is 12 in your current setting.
I’m all for Hiro and Summer’s relationship, but I don’t really saw enough to cement it in my mind. I think a lot of this has to do with the first few chapters being so overwhelming that it felt rushed. At one point I think Summer said that she enjoyed inventing with Hiro, now that was great but the issue I have with that statement is that I don’t think I saw her invent with Hiro at any time until after that statement, so even though I thought it was a nice sentiment at the time, I’m starting to question it now.
Ok I said the references were getting a bit too much but at this point they crossed my line. Tyrian’s appearance in cannon comes off as psychotic and deranged and his lines make sense because the characters have no idea who he is. In this version, Summer should have in inkling as to why he’s here, he’s with Lavender who she’s had previous encounters with before, all for the same reason, heck Lavender states her reason earlier. Why is Summer a dum-dum?
Summer…is too talented or at the very least has too much going on. I’m all for the RWBY implements, but I’m trying to see her limitations and/or flaws. She’s learning things too quickly after using her powers unconsciously; all it took was some night time training (which we never see) and she’s already mastered her holographic abilities. I’m actually fine with Ruby if anything Ruby needs more fleshing out. On the other hand, why does Ruby seem more knowledgeable about the silver eyes if they’re both working on the record, small nitpick that I actually like.
Importanto: What are the limitations/drawbacks for the silver eyes? They’re awakening one ability after another. New power has a limit of 48 hours….2 full days…(that’s a really long time without delayed effects or constant energy sapping). What does ‘danger’ mean exactly? A building collapsing is dangerous. Does that mean they’re now impervious and invincible to any damage? If so this is really OP.
Me at chapter 18: There’s still no lim….what….what the what? No. I refuse to believe there is absolutely NOTHING her silver eyes are doing to her, drain her life force, do something DX
This is not good for her character at all or Ruby's or any silver eyed warrior for that matter.
List of her abilities
-Silver fire
-Summons
-48hr Protection charm
-Peer into others dreams
-Bring people back from the dead/extreme healing
-Holographic projections
-Clairvoyance
-Purify Grimm gas
-Sweet dreams
So far there hasn't been any balance, this is my main issue with the story, silver eyes are far too OP without any sort of consequence.
So other than teenager related issues, Summer is technically perfect. I want to see her flaws and struggles. One on one interactions; who has she really connected to? How is she really coping with the destruction of Atlas and everything else that has been going on? I want to see more depth.

Overall, I enjoyed reading the story, and I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it from here, how your characters are going to react to Hiro being kidnapped; and by Callahan no less.
Looking forward to the next chapter :D
Keep it up ETH