Sorry but I don't like it... Not at all...

They are very few polyamory fic, so is good to see one, but it's not very good presented.

Luna is totally selfish, abusive and cruel character in this fic.

Not matter what are your believing, cheating is not right nor acceptable. Luna never had to cheat on Cho, not matter what she thinks, a relationship is a compromise between two person, and Luna destroyed it without even feeling any guilt?

Luna had to discuss it with Choo before begin a relationship with her. Not cheat on her, and say it's all right because she likes to have more than one lover.

Her relationship with Rolf is not good either as it seems, AGAIN, it's only Luna the one to have more than one lover.

It could be good if we had see how Rolf was in bed with them both, or if Rolf was with Parvati, or any other woman... but all the story is presented as "Luna can sleep around, and if her partner love her, he/she must accept it".

Sorry but polyamory is not to sleep around while your partner is awaiting for you in home.

This fic was thoroughly heart-wrenching in the best way. You established an air of comfort with a tinge of unease right at the start that kept building throughout, with Luna's concerns dominating more and more of the text and more of the reader's attention.

Polyamory is a hard thing for people to communicate (And find common cause with) in real life, and I think it fits perfectly with how Luna acts in general. You maintained her compassion, which made it much easier to sympathize with her even though I still feel bad for Cho (I can't help but think how it must feel to have lost Cedric, then Luna, and how horrible she must be feeling after the events of this fic).

All in all, it's bittersweet, it hurts, and that's why it works.

This is an interesting piece! I feel like I don't see characters written as polyamorous too often, and definitely not with this level of sensitivity and understanding. The way you wrote it I could also definitely imagine Luna as being poly, and I like how you still had her definitely caring about the people she was in relationships with (e.g., her being torn up about not telling Cho at first, but also having trouble bringing herself to tell Cho - it makes her seem very human/realistic). I also like how you kept it canon by having her still marry Rolf (just with these other relationships on the side).

As minor concrit, there were two sentences which seemed a bit unnecessary to me. The first is "Being with a woman was very different than being with a man"; it seemed unnecessary to me because to some extent I feel like this is kinda obvious but moreso because it seemed unrelated to the following sentence (which talks about Cho and Rolf's individual interests, which seem unrelated to men and women *in general*). The second is when Luna reiterates that she's interested in men and women but she knew one of her relationships (Cho or Rolf) would have to end; again, it's partly that it's obvious (she's seeing Cho and Rolf, so obviously she's attracted to men and women) but moreso that it seems unrelated to the fact that she's gonna have to pick between them (since the reason she has to pick between them isn't because one is a man and one is a woman, it's because Rolf is okay with open relationships and Cho isn't).

Anyway, that concrit was literally just for those two sentences and the rest of the fic was a great read in terms of style, how you wrote the characters, and some of the surprises that appeared (I was curious who the girls at the beginning and end were before it was revealed they were Cho and Lavender). It also makes me happy that Luna ends up in a relationship (or, rather, relationships) with people who understand her and make her happy.

THIS IS AMAZING! I love the way you managed to write about a Polygamy girl in a world where its only socially acceptable to have one partner at the time. Whats more is that its totally believable and i could imagine it all in my head. Luna is like a cloud forever free and can never be chained.
Greath job :D