Again a very well written letter.
It's also going into my Zombie proof vault.

]-)

Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #4

Examiner: Kyrie

Grade: 18.5/20 - EE (Exceeds Expectations)

Feedback: "Molly Weasley and Antonin Dolohov: Molly is caring and wears her heart on her sleeve. It is something that she's always done, and I love that you emphasized on this throughout the story, despite the argument between herself and Antonin. Antonin himself was offputtingly… happy in the beginning of the story (which, to be honest, weirded me out haha). But that provided a very clear comparison for the change that he goes through when he seriously is contemplating becoming a Death Eater. The sense of him closing off his emotions towards Molly was made final when he tells her that he loves her, and that is just heartbreaking. I found this story to be very original. I've seen the idea of a pair of lovers becoming estranged because one of them becomes evil, but the way this story is being said just captured my interest straight away. With the pairing (which I've never read before), I felt that the plot and its execution felt new and interesting. Molly and Antonin's interactions were very intimate at the beginning of the story. I was actually quite in awe of how you presented both the verbal and physical sense of closeness between the two. But later on, they become closed off to one another, especially so after Antonin's claims that guaranteed his becoming a Death Eater. The difference in the two interactions were really quite breathtaking, and I loved that. The general flow was great. The pacing was natural, and didn't feel as though it was too fast or too slow. The dialogue was really good. You were able to show emphasize both the emotions and the heat of the argument through it, and it didn't feel forced. The prose was just as good, and both the dialogue and the prose balanced each other symbiotically. The prompt was definitely included in the story, but I'm not sure if it felt as if the story was built upon it. It seemed more as though the prompt had simply been included because it could have satisfied the prompt, but in terms of impact, it didn't have as much as I thought it could have. Which I'm actually quite shocked by, cause your story was really good. It was original and unique. The plot was detailed, but not overly so as it was overwhelming. I didn't think it had plot holes, but there are a few questions that came up by the end of the story. Why did Antonin's personality change so drastically? Was there a time skip that the readers aren't aware of? Also, why did he leave her if he ended up being in love with her anyways? Is there a hidden meaning to it that I'm not fully grasping? Other than these, I felt that the story was complete. The story was absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I'd never thought that you would be able to take someone like Molly (who I've only ever seen with Arthur) and create such a convincing romance between her and Antonin. It was fabulous, and I would definitely recommend this story! I don't see any noticeable SPaG errors whatsoever. Great work :) You've kept yourself within the word limit. The school and task are both included in the AN."

Loved it thanks