Hi! This is a really good fanfic, and though you haven’t updated in a long time, I hope you are still planning on continuing this fic! I really want to see ruby and kiyoshi’s relationship blossom!

..."Loads of Oc's." it's an instant turn off for the fic. Another fic to add to the trash pile of oc trash

"Loads of Oc's." I can already tell the story is complete garbage from this line alone no need to read anymore of it

wait ruby as a maid...please tell me she will act as saber

This story just gets more interesting the more I read.

Nice emotional changes to the Canon I like it. I can say that this is slowly turning into one of my favorite rwby stories

Interesting so far will hold my opinion until I'm further in

I just realized something... where is Yang's one save from Raven? has Raven already had to save her before?

Nice :D

Bleh. Dropped. Spoilers:

Ruby's sister is in the hospital and she doesn't leave school early to see her? Major WTF there. Seriously, any school would let her leave early. Ruby uses aura arrows and not her iconic scythe. What are aura arrows any way? her semblence? But in the shop it looks like being unnoticed is her semblence. And now Yang is crippled, meaning she is out of the story for the most part. But earlier her injuries were described as "aren't anything serious". Yang went from "she's fine" in ch 1 to having no legs in ch 2. That whole thing is confusing. Why can't she be a huntress? People have cybernetic parts in the show. One of the villains lost his legs and has robotic replacements. Skipping ahaid Ruby assaults Cardin for no good reason. And no, him being a racist is not a good reason. Decent people do not act like that even if the guy has done something you dislike. There is also Ruby having multiple semblences, which would be a historic event seeing as people only have one.

Yes, caught up now that I'm back from New Year's Holidays. Thought I'd read through the whole remaining chapters I got first before you put out a new chapter. I've been writing some review-notes that I'll be going back and putting in the chapters that I missed, but anyway, to this chapter review:

We get some Cardin conflict at the beginning and good on Hayashi for getting Cardin to shut up, and we get to see some semblances at the Amphitheater. I do have to say, Kyosuke's semblance is one of my favourites, so many blades. A lot of interesting original semblances you got here. Props to you giving CRDL some semblances too, it's very interesting to see their own semblances and twists people give them for their semblances.

So far so good, the story is shaping up to be pretty good. I like this AU Ruby, the new OCs have potential, and taking the story into this sort of writing style is...interesting.

The single sentence breaks are unusual, but they get the point across. Some nitpick's I had eventually became moot, like the lack of periods or commas at the end of dialogue or they were lamp shades, like Ruby basically sharing parts of her backstory to a random stranger.

I would comment more, but I am at the beginning of a story with 19 chapters, and as such I feel that whatever I say now would be fixed or adjusted in the near future.

In short, as far as RWBY stories go, I really like this AU Ruby.

Ok, I just have one question: what happened to Vomit Boy after she recovered her stuff? I was kind of expecting Jaune to try and at least get her name or some small talk afterwards lol. Ok, now that I got that out of my chest, onto the proper review…

Thoughts on Ezra: He seems nice enough. Maybe it is the fact that he was basically raised by the Schnees. I don’t know about that, I mean, I find it hard to believe that Jaques would ‘adopt’ a foster brother for Weiss being… well, the way Jaques is. I’d expect the man would have an ulterior motive for that. But I like the character of Ezra so far.

Thoughts on Lily: Ok, so now we officially have a character even more vulnerable than Velvet herself, though that’s understandable given the facts that she might be even younger than Ruby and that she’s a faunus. That could be used to help Velvet’s character development. My thoughts on Lyly herself? I like her so far, though is a shame someone (Cardin?) is picking on her this early on. Seems like a good point of conflict to address in futures chapters for either her, Velvet, or Ruby.

Thoughts on Kyoshi; Silent type. Not even Ruby could get a clear read out of him. I’ll hold my judgement for now, but he was able to keep my interest. Again, Ruby’s speech is kind of awkward here, but I guess that was the idea since she’s meeting new people.

Ruby speech: I was gonna address that. I must have missed that, but I don’t remember Ruby saying that she changes the way she talks depending on who she’s talking to. I find it cool, but sometimes her speech is kind of ‘robotic’. The way she talked with Lily was fine, almost motherly as described, but her interaction with Kyoshi was almost mechanic. I feel like if you wanna keep her speech changes over the story, let her explain that she’s doing that on purpose.

Overall, this was a good introductory chapter for several new faces and, even with all the little things mentioned before, I can’t wait to see where the story is going! Sorry if I sound as if I wasn’t enjoying the chapter at all (totally the opposite actually), just a bit of positive and constructive criticism over here lol.

TJ out.

Both chapters were great. We got introduced to a myriad of New characters, all with interesting weapons, backgrounds and personalities. I can already see how they're going to clash with each other.

To answer your questions. Kyosuke is a pretty mysterious guy. Seems rough around he edges and is also aware of Salem. Wonder what he'll bring to the table. Separating everyone into different areas is interesting, it certainly helps the students come up with various scenarios and to overcome each one. It's really cool to see this interesting take on the initiation.

Well, nice job as always. See ya soon.

Ok so, this version of Ruby is a bit "darker" than her canon version. I wasn't sure at first, but now I kind of get why she's like that in this story.

So there was a brother, a twin at that. Something happened (probably died?) at some point, and Yang is blaming herself for the incident. Makes sense so far, I mean, I'm guessing this is about the time Yang went looking for her mom when she was younger. Something must have gone terribly wrong in this version if that's the case.

And now Ruby is yet to tell them the news of her potential early entry to Beacon. I wonder how will Yang react? Taiyang would be proud no matter what, but I'm a bit worried about Yang.

Anyways, as I said earlier, I wasn't convinced about this at first, but after this second chapter... color me intrigued. I'll be sure to keep reading this story till I catch up. TJ out!