Hey it's me! Some thoughts:
To be frank, I don't like the death in the meeting, for several reasons. 1) If it truly is illegal to assault Naruko (punishable by death) the public should be aware of that, and wouldn't likely admit to it. They might let something slip in the heat of the moment, but this is a meeting that they've had some time (at least one night) to discuss and mentally prepare for. I think it would be unrealistic for someone to openly admit guilt to a crime that carries the death penalty. 2) Even if it were proven that the man is guilty and deserves the death penalty, would Kage realistically carry it out? He's obviously not averse to killing people on principle, but murdering someone in cold blood might still be beneath him. Plus, it would be unwise for him to act so rashly, because: 3) there has to be a legal way for an execution to be carried out. Think about IRL situations; when someone is on death row, there's a process to carrying out their execution... you don't just let a stranger in the building with a gun, and then let them shoot the person in the face. Even if a criminal was on death row, if a stranger just murdered the guy out of order, that person would still be charged with the murder, since it wasn't carried out in the authorized way. Kage is in a new land, with unfamiliar laws... he should have the wisdom to be wary of such processes.

Speaking of wisdom, it's enjoyable to imagine the discussion of Kage's physical/mental fitness, but is he really so quick to make such a grand display of wealth? It's one thing to establish oneself as competent, but it may be unwise to paint a target on oneself by declaring your own wealth, particuarly in an unfamilar place... This is not a judgement, since you now Kage's character better than I, but more an observation.

Otherwise, excellent character development, and I'm looking forward to seeing your take on Kvasir/Ailean/Nora D

love it.
please write more.
wow.

Hey buddy it's me, the DM! I'm lovin' it! Here's my critique:

I think any child that sustains an injury severe enough to cause a compound fracture would basically leave them traumatized. Even being magically healed, it would take days/weeks to normalize from that. Consider bumping down the severity of the injuries; remember that to children, even small injuries are a tragedy.

Secondly I think you may have laid the exposition on a bit heavy with the hokage and his company. Consider keeping some secrets? And I think opening with "we're from another plane of existence" is a bit too heavy. In all honesty, if the amulet brought them to this place, then that means it obviously didn't work correctly. For all they know this could just be some foreign country in their own world.

Finally I think Naruko warms too quickly to Ithul'nir and Zalia. Being friendly and accepting their hospitality is one thing, but jumping straight to "mom and dad" on day one is probably a bit fast. You know I'm a fan of long-game character building (with Kvasir waiting now a year for that character arc he's been talking about) but even a little patience goes a long way.

Killing it my dude!

Great job keep it up. Update soon

I like this story already!