cute story

Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #1

Examiner: Mary

Grade: 19.5/20 - O (Outstanding)

Feedback: "The one place I have taken half a point is for your characterisation. I felt that you painted Hermione a little bit too drastically, she was the more sympathetic one in canon and she felt a little cold. But for the most point your characterisation and description was great. It's a fairly common pairing but I thought the addition of an author!au twist made it original enough. I thought Hermione interacted well with herself and both other characters. The dialogue felt natural. Your prose and dialogue (both inner and outer) were well balanced and flowed nicely. Your paragraphs and sentences were of a good length and so the piece didn't feel stilted or awkward. You used the prompt obviously and I believe fully. Sure it could have been more about a book, but I liked that you made it more about the process of writing rather than just her producing a finished article. This was more of a slice of life piece than anything with a defined plot but that certainly didn't take away from the enjoyment and I think any more would have ruined it. It's a very marmite sort of pairing you either love or you hate Harmony but I think for those who would choose to read it it's very enjoyable. A cute little fluff piece guaranteed to make you smile. Your SPaG was well written. There were no mistakes or floating bits of punctuation and your sentences were well structured. Good job. You included the prompt and word count in your author's note - thank you. Over all, a great fic, well done!"

JKR has not and cannot write romance. Evidently her life expectancies poisoned her enough to think a poster boy for the 7 deadly sins (Ron) would ever be a groom for Hermione.

Cute story