Hi

Your chapter is nice. My biggest complaints are that many of the paragraphs are crammed, also, the background/status /info of various characters is impressive, but feels more like profiles then fanfic.

Narration has it’s place, but its too much summary and not enough story.

Also, while I like lyrics, FF has a rule against it. Sorry, it’s not my decision.

The overall part with Danny and Desire renewing their wedding vows was good.

The Christian references were nice. At least I think so.

The wholesome standards are high.

The language is clean.
Those mature references are vague- THANK YOU!

I hope you like this review though it’s not very flattering. God bless

Data Seeker

Wow, You wrote this chapter sooner than I thought, DJ! What a very pleasant surprise for the end of the weekend, I say! :) And yeah, this yeah is being productive for everybody lately, You and me included.
Maybe most of Your author friends here are busy with something? Anyway let's pray for their well being, as well as for any sign of life from them.
Now for the long expected reply from Disney and such...Well, I guess we need much more patience than anyone would think, and also expect anything anytime. In case they don't reply to Your letters, here are 2 advices I came up with to help You:
1. Have You ever thought of going to where Disney Studio is, so You could talk to them eye to eye about Your dream?
2. Before doing so, why don't You create some kind of a petition to gain lots of votes? The more people agreeing, the higher our hopes may get.
Sadly that's all I could think of, but I hope it'll help You nonetheless.
Anyway, back to finishing my reiview I go! Sadly since the DP crew is busy lately, they can't comment this story today. But I always have back-up plan! Which is why I brought my little sisters-figures, the Powerpuff Girls, along with our own Pokemon buddies! *Reveals myself and the girls, surrounded by a few Pokemon of ours. In my case it's Eeeveelution family, for Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup it's starter Pokemon from each generation. For Blossom it's fire type, for Bubbles water type and for Buttercup grass type.*
Blossom: Hello there again, Mr. DJ! It's so nice to accompany our dear friend, Dreams again while her friends from "Danny Phantom'' cartoon are currently busy .
Bubbles: But the fact we could bring our Pokemon friends...*screams in excitement and joy* It's beyond great! *hugs You tight*
Buttercup: True. Although I was expecting some action and fight between good and evil in this chapter, but since it's Your fanfic I can't complain nor act like a whiny, ungrateful brat. That's Princess Morebucks' job after all. *chuckles*
Me: I enjoyed it as always, anyway. You too, guys? *turns to my Eeveelution gang and they all nod in agreement. Eva the Eevee who's laying on my lap especially. * You see, DJ? You have fans, even from the land of the Rising Sun! *giggles cheerfully*
Bubbles: Speaking of which, me and my sisters are sending our greetings to our Japanese counterpart/long distand cousins from Japan - Powerpuff Girls Z! *waves at the camera and says her hello in Japanese*
Me: I'm sure they'll be very pleased to recieve this, Bubbles. *pats her head gently* Now what do I think of this chapter? Well, I think all my answers to Your questions down below will show it better. for now I wanna let the girls share their opinions first.
Blossom:*steps up first, with her fire starter pokemon friends, surrounding her* Thank You. Though we didn't read the first chapter of this story, Dreams told us about it. As well as Your other fanfics, including the DxV one. Dreams said Valerie's case here is like in that fanfic, but a little bit different. Still we're glad she changed for the better in both fanfics and stopped her hatred towards ghosts which used to cross racist levels. It's very surprising the whole Fenton family have become Christians, but we don't mind it. Truth be told... We're Christians too. It's true! Although it was never revealed in the show, our father, Professor Utonium, is not only the man of science, but also the man of faith. I mean it's ridiculous to view many scientists as atheists, because not literally all of them must be like that! However, the only type of Christians we do not tolerate are the fanatic ones who think like people used to think in medieval. None of us knew it's possible to reengage until today. Still I consider this event very romantic and one of a kind. 3
Bubbles:* shows up next, along with her water starter pokemon buddies whom she hugs gently* I absolutely agree! Eek! I love romantic stories like this! I didn't expect to see so many Easter Eggs in the form of characters who appeared in Your "House of Mouse'' fanfics, including Dreams' OC dancers. Personally we enjoy this kind of surprises! :D Hey, isn't Natsumi the same girl Tucker is paired up with in Your unfinished DP trilogy fanfic series? Which reminds me to ask: What other fanfics do You plan to write in the future? I hope You didn't lose Your special notebook where You have all notes needed for this, did You?
I never thought Sam and Hathus' kids would be their opposites when it comes to likes, styles and colors, but oh well. I wonder how the Mansons took the fact their grandkids aren't quite like her daughter?
Aww, Wulf really found himself a girlfriend? How lovely! I wonder what her name is? And also what do their pups look like? Propably cute. v
Buttercup:*comes in last, with her grass type starter pokemon by her side* I may not feel ready to be interesed in being in a relationship, ut it doesn't mean I don't like romance. Not to the extreme, but You get my point. *suddenly smirks teasingly* Bubbles is right, there are indeed lots of familiar Easter Eggs You put here. Dani's boyfriend, Peter, already reminds me of the certain Lost Boy from Neverland. Still I hope Danny doesn't bother his sisters in their relationships, as long they go alright. The time when he acted overprotective towards Jazz when Johnny 13 tried to manipulate her reminded me of how my sisters got worried about me when I got a crush on Ace. As a kid I had every right to be naive, but too bad I had to learn my lesson the hard way. Seriously, if Ace, Butch or any other creep like them tries to use my feeling to their advantage again, I'll give them plenty of knuckle sanchwiches in their faces! The same will happen if they try to do the same to my sisters, friends or anybody else! I also hope all the parents from this fanfic never, EVER hire babysitters like Vicky, because people like her are not, and I repeat ARE NOT great choices! Same with Sedusa who disguised herself and became out temporary nanny or something like that! Sorry for my rant, by the way, but I can't hide my brutal honesty.
Me: I understand You so well. Still thank You girls for Your long, but interesting comments You gave here. :) What can I say? Well, I guess the time to answer Your questions has finally come, because this time they're gonna be very, very, very detailed. *clears my throat* Here we go!:
1. I honestly think their lives got very interesting. It's awesome they got quite better lives and they made new families, etc. By the way, what do You think had happened to Dash and his partners in bullyings(A.K.A. the A-listers, besdes Paulina, Star and Valerie who were rather kicked out or quit it on their free will)? One more thing, this time it's trivia: Did You know that 'Lew' is Polish for 'Lion'?
2. I think the kids are very nice and they seem to have mixed traits of personalities. abilities and even interests. I can imagine their future being full of adventures already. Arron & Fatima are the cutest babies I ever saw. Just being their godmom, as well as Sadira's, sound like a true honour. v
3. I would chat with my friends, see how the kids are doing and just simply enjoying myself before the great event begins.
4. I felt very touched by their vows. I think most couples should learn from them. Blessed couple they are. :)
5. OMG, how romantic! I'm totally honoured to have witnessed this! If most weddings and similar events/parties had musical numbers like this, then there'd be absolutely no place for plain boredom.
6. Why, I'd enjoy myself before going home.
Phew, finally. You did wonderful job as always, buddy! Whenever You need my help again at something, just let me know. May this weekend end well for You, so the new week may begin good for all of us. Same with another month before we welcome spring with open arms. May the Lord watch over You, Your friends, family and even many people here who use their gifts to writing and imagination to create wonderful stories too! See You next time!
Blossom: Don't be afraid to sk us questiions if You have any, okay? We'll be more than pleased to answer them!
Buttercup: Take care, dude! If Any hater, troll or cyberbully bothers You, call for us and Dreams and we'll do out best to cheer Ya up. ;)
Bubbles: Never lose Your faith, hope and patience, for You need it always until the day You die of very old age.
*We give You gentle hugs, then wave goodbye before disappearing back home.*

So awesome on all fronts! The adult lives you constructed for characters were cool and fitting for the story. And the kids were adorable! The only ones missing were Duncan and Clawdeen's twins Drake(boy) and Lupa(girl); whom I will eventually show in an epilogue scene at the end of my Primal Hearts trilogy! The ceremony and vows were lovely.
Thanks for including me and Gwen! And for plugging my story! And the Primal Hearts cast approved of the roles you cast them in!

Dude too long for one chapter, not a fan of Danny becoming Christian, no offence to having faith the the lord our god, but I have found the Christian faith to be somewhat closed minded when it comes to certain parts of gods plan and designs

Okay I believe in God and everything but I believe when the spirit leaves the body it's done it's either going to be judged or it stuck in purgatory I don't believe there's a way to return the spirit to the body I don't believe Josh you do that or at least not how I look at the Bible he has the power to heal the soul and help the body but he cannot bring one back to the other that's why there's the what is known as the angel of death are the being that helps guides the souls to where they can be judged not saying this is not a good fanfiction because it is but I just didn't see any facts about God being able to return the soul to the body in the Bible so I don't believe he can do that I believe it can heal the soul and help the body but I don't think he can put one back to the other

I like it! Desiree deserved a happy ending, and her being with Danny is perfect! I'm cool with the heavy Christianity setting, infact it shows the positive sides of religion.
Overall, 10/10 story!

This was pretty good. Love the Danny maturing phase the most. Desiree was a good character in the series but can I request you do one for my growing favorite ember (was Dani love her sponkiness to her but ember has been growing each time I rewatch the show)

This was sweet!

Normally I don't like Danny and Desiree fics due to the vast age difference but this was a very cute and unique one shot and I am glad that Desiree got a happy ending
Keep up the good work :)

i liked the story except for the christian tone seriously man i believe in god and i am kind of a christian but it seems like you are trying to convert people

Quite the origin story of how Danny & Desiree became fierce enemies into a blissful married couple!
Each character also had something to teach us: Danny felt down on his luck after the breakup he had with his old flame Samantha 'Sam' Manson, believing he couldn't go on...until a wise pair (Rick & Cindy Godwin) gave him good, sound advice that helped him get back upon his feet & learned that no matter how hard life can be at times, one must always have the strength to push themselves past it & continue. Another good example is to listen to the 1980s song 'You're Only Human (Second Wind)' as performed by Billy Joel: the lyrics are as informative as any teacher can fill you with.
As for Desiree (who once started out as evil), she had a change of heart when Danny gave her a second chance at life, rather than seal her up in a bottle like he would normally do. And lo & behold...IT WORKED! Not only has Desiree forsaken her malevolent ways, she'd been offered to be his wife, of all things! Seems like Desiree WANTED to leave her wicked ways behind, but just didn't know how...until of course Danny came along.
Just goes to show that ANYONE can change their wicked ways...as long as they have the courage & the commitment to do so.
A well-done story which deserves a good review to go with it!
Hope your Disney Cruise was worth the wait, & it's so good to have you back!
Til next time!

Hi

I do think some areas need fine tuning and the paragraphs need work. But I noticed a quantum leap in quality. Your story plot is more complex, has fewer plot holes, and you gave your characters, namely Danny and Desiree a lot of growth and development. I’ll elaborate in the following.

The beginning with popularity as a world savior putting great strain on Danny’s life leading to Sam breaking up with him was good.

His departure to another state, and meeting a couple who introduce him to Jesus was great.

The following with his returning home months later and having a confrontation with Desiree and showing mercy were excellent.

Danny’s reconciling with Sam was great. They aren’t a couple, but their friendship is back.

It then goes to the future. Danny’s friends, family have graduated, founds dates that led to marriage and starting families. Danny is wiser, kinder and more responsible than he’s ever been and is still looking for Miss Right.

And then there is Desiree. Starving to be loved and touched by Danny’s kindness long ago, but not understanding love, she tries to seduce him.

It was dynamic how Danny is tempted, but stays strong. It was great how Danny offers to be Desiree’s friend who accepts it.

It then skips to the future. Danny offers Desiree a chance to be alive and through the power of God, she is resurrected. Now she is a living breathing human, she and Danny becomes a couple. Very dynamic.

The Following with Danny and Desiree are wealthy, independent, and married and eventually have a child were great! They have evolved into a wonderful family.

Nice ending bit with Desiree carrying twins.

The characters are great, particularly Danny and Desiree.

Danny’s growth into a man was dynamic. It’s great how he has more developed morals but isn’t perfect. He can experience temptation like anger and lust but can still do the right thing.

Desiree’s change was great too. She’s a woman full of pain, anger and selfishness. Danny’s act of kindness was a great turning point for her, but she doesn’t change overnight.
It was great how she seeks out Danny, starving for love, but not understanding love, but with time and Danny’s help, finds love and fullness.

They become great couple, loving each other, and their children.

Sam was great too. Though she broke Danny’s heart, she isn’t a devil, sometimes hardships can lead people to hurt others without meaning too.

The others, Jack, Maddie, Tucker, Jazz, Danielle and others are good too.

The various trivia in the story are good. The back-story to Pariah Dark before becoming the Ghost king was good.
The references to Disney Films, Superbook and Greatest Adventures, stories from the Bible were great.
The reference to Desiree adjusting to being human was great, namely how she loses her powers. I do wish it was more than a reference though.

I am concern about lyrics. FF has a rule against that sort of thing.

This is what I think of the wholesome standards.

The language is mostly clean. I am dubious about the use of Damn, but due to the context, I won’t make a big deal of it.
The references to different types of sex are FANTASTIC. You aren’t explicit, suggestive or crude, even when reference to appalling sex. It’s very good to write vulgar references without being vulgar.
I rather you avoid certain references but I won’t make a very big deal about them.
There is violence. Dark and mature themes, but nothing bad.

I particularly like how you wrote Desiree’s resurrection. Being a Christian with certain morals, I believe some types of relationships are unnatural/immoral, and sex/marriage between the living and dead is one of them.
Bringing Desiree back to life eliminated any issues.

Also, I consider Resurrection a serious issue and shouldn’t be done lightly.
I like how in your story, God brought Desiree back to life and the reference that no power on Earth or in the Ghost Zone can do that.
Now for the record, it is possible to do a story with Resurrection and God didn’t do it without offending me, but you would be hard-pressed to succeed.

Well this is my review. Are there any compliments or criticism you want me to elaborate on? God bless

Data Seeker

Oh, those stories were written here on this site? Sorry, ignore my suggestion. I didn’t know they were fanfics directly based on those series.
Good luck to you.

Does your “Monsters and Magic” idea have to be part of Disney? Because I have a suggestion if you’re still looking.
Have you heard of Butch Hartman’s upcoming network? It’s called Oaxis (or maybe Oaxis Entertainment). If Disney isn’t interested, perhaps that would be a place to try. Just a suggestion.
I look forward to your future work.

Good to see a Danny and Desiree story up. And this is one of the best. It has good character development from many of the people, and I liked how after Danny returned he called out the media for always hounding him as well as call out the people who harassed Sam after they broke up. Even though I have issues with Sam due to some of her flaws, she didn't deserve to be treated the way she did to the point of breaking down emotionally.

Also, I liked that you had cartoon characters from the 1980's appear due to Desiree's magic. If I was with Sam, Tucker, and the Fentons, I would love to take on Rocksteady and Bebop from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. As for Desiree, it was messed up what Johnny and his friends did to her and he deserved everything he got after Danny freed her from granting every wish she heard.

If I was witnessing Desiree's resurrection, I would definitely be in awe. Anyway, this is a great story with one of my favorite pairings and I wish you well on your cruise.

Later