Well this went to shit real quick as you always do. As far as writers go you're shit, you don't know the meaning of pacing, do you even know how to write dialogue that sounds like it came from a human being or decent character interaction. Can you not write something that isn't a rushed mess of words that would benefit greatly from just an extra 1k words longer.

I like Sans.

Interesting stuff looking forward to more

this is turning into a trash story. your giving him OP powers and yet your not using it. its seems like your only adding an extra character but the story is still the same as the canon and i fucking hate that type of story. seriously he knows the canon story but he did nothing to prevent things from happening at all. im done with this.

Well, this fic turned into trash already. I'm out.

Esto podría ser mejor.
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This could be better.

Your writing is good, the dialogue is entertaining, and this is a neat idea for a power, but the story isn't that interesting. He's just re-treading canon. Why does he have all these fantastical powers if he doesn't do anything with them? From the first chapter, it seemed like Lung killed his parents. He lets that go for years?

Taylors school depression mostly stemmed from a lack of reliable friends. If she had even one buddy, she would be completely different. Most likely not even trigger. Why does he even let things escalate that far?

The main advantage of being a rebirth SI is the potential to REALLY shake things up, which this story did not take advantage of. If an entire extra person is reborn into a story years before the story starts (especially as a close family member of the MC), the story should be radically different.

You're a creative person, let your imagination go wild. Don't stick to canon and your stories will be so much better.

I don't understand how can a self insert with the knowledge of Worm Canon can act like the protagonist. It really beggars belief and breaks immersion. And don't get me started with the apologies after Taylor's trigger. I am not saying the story is rubbish, but... It's not for the discerning reader that's for sure.

love it

Can't wait to see Marquis or Brandish.

thanks for the chapter

Can’t really see the PRT getting away with entering some random girls hospital room to out them as a parahuman especially with only the consent of a minor who is not the patients legal guardian. Pretty sure that would be pissing all over the unwritten rules and far too blatantly for them to get away with it

You captured san’s playful/ serious nature love it

there's a difference in trashes, there might be gold in it if you search hard enough.

there's no grammatical mistakes that I could point out so good for you, there's not much to critique just the short word count.

critiques will come when you have more chapters but for what I see there would only be few to note but easily brushed off.

plot is still vague at this point, is he going to follow the Canon or it will divert which is hard to guess at this point.

this FF is good so please don't think that it's a trash when you haven't polish such a gold mine.

Well, your character is seems to be kinda off. The world is passing by, while he is asleep with open eyes. Autistic way... that's what i got from reading first chapter. Also, the name. Where is his damn name? xD