I love the idea behind Reality MarblesI reject your reality and substitute it with my own!"

next?

Your writing feels a bit too fast paced. Maybe include a bit more information on thought processing and character dialogue.

I wish I could give you a bit more help in improving but I only know basic information. You have a decent framework, just need to improve your grammar a tad.

Just an FYI, write out numbers unless they're incredibly large or part of a stat sheet. If they're a part of the general writing it's better to use the word.

This doesn't make sense; in the first chapter, he is in London. Therefore not from Chelsea, he is not a hero yet and haven't died as mentioned in the 1st chapter. How can he even be aware of Chaldea and Gudao? Grandorder is a completely different timeline from any of the 3 Fate/Stay Night.

Podrias por favor seguir cpn este fic? Realmente me gusto y espero con ansias los proximos capitulos y tambien recomendare a mis amigo para que lo lean pero por favor sigue con el fic, eres de la pocas personas que podria hacer este tipo de fics y es realmente emocianente leerlo. Muchas gracias

I hope you eventually return to this, it's the best story in the f/sn rotsh crossover category, the only other that comes close is already discontinued.

This is really fucking confusing, the POV and perspective changes are really throwing me off between shirou and naofumi. Stop using shirou pov, then using I, then switching to naofumi. Then to shirou and back again.

finally a story where fitoria is told a big fat NO

Muy buena historia espero que la continúes

Show don't tell

I hope they actually go to another country and crash all of the Queen's plan and Shirou threatens the queen for not controlling her husband and daughter and letting them mistreat Naofumi and them for so long without consequence.

Me encanta esta historia espero que la continues porfa si es interesante el enfoque que hisiates es algo refrescante sin lensinear q hay pocos de seste fic de fate y el héroe traductor google

good