Keep it up, dude loving your work!

I like the difference so far. Already have Zane in the family. Can’t wait to see the backstory for Zane and how the story shapes out differently.

Please update the story as soon as you can!

Hmm... A good setup here for him going to Tenbi, and a decent job done at conveying emotions when it pertains to Atsuko's inevitable demise. The explanation that we now have for Zane was alright too, saw nothing wrong with it. I did spot some minor grammatical errors, such as referring to woman as 'women', but nothing egregious. Also, the description of what's growing inside Zane, gotta be honest man, it sounds like something ripped straight out of Cthulu Mythos. Who knows, maybe you'll go there and make Zane thehost or something for a lovecraftian nightmare, lol.

Either way, looking forward to seeing how you handle this 'prequel arc', when Minori and co were still in their final year. I honestly can't remember if their actual ages were even stated in the show/manga, but to be fair I doubt the mangaka cared about that. He was more focused on the plot, and even more so on the 'plot'.

Have a feeling he'll get a main pairing with Minori though, for some reason. Given our chats, I know this'll be a harem fic, and I just get this odd feeling Minori will be the main squee- I mean girl. Yeah, that's what I meant there. I could be wrong though, only you really have the answer to that.

Regardless, I'll eagerly await the release of the next chapter. Good luck with it Austin!

Well, I must say, the re-write so far is intriguing. You did an OK job hinting at something being amiss with Zane, and at least in my opinion, a good job writing from a child's perspective for the most part. All I really have as a critique, is that I noticed a few words missing from sentences that make what you were saying sound a little off, but that's about it. Pretty minor in all honesty.

Look forward to seeing more of this in the future AJR.