Which there was more to this

Man this is good; I know it was a short fic, but I love how Jaune and Cinder are characterized.
Jaune in general tends to be inconsistent in fanon, mainly because he's inconsistent in canon, with no one quite being able to portray him as being extremely talented tactics wise while still being a naive goof.
And Cinder is a monster, whatever hidden layers she may have, she is definitely not a victim outside of her own self inflicted failures.
I like that that stayed consistent with canon, I could totally see this having happened in a darker world.

whoa great story

This really is interesting to think about. If RWBY went bad end and this happened. It really is the ultimate defeat for our characters.

This fanfic is GLORIOUS! Awesome story bro. On a side note you should put this in your Arc-ventures across the multiverse. Or at least a chapter where Jaune ends up being evil with Cinder. If you need help just contact me. I already have an idea ready, just never got the chance to implement it since, you know. Life sucks. Anyways, still, 13/5 stars man

I agree with lordowl, best kept short and bitter. Writing was excellent, I really enjoyed this fic.

can you make this on "Arc-ventures across the multiverse" PLEASE!

The ending is kind of... unwarranted, in my opinion. Not that Jaune killed himself - I mean, he could have at least tried to fight or run away or something, suicide is a weird choice given the personality shown, but I can work with that - what I find weird, is that Cinder feels bad. Because none of the previous dialogue or general description suggested that Cinder had begun to feel any type of actual attachment to Jaune. She's pleasantly surprised by a few things, but I never got the impression that she regarded him with any emotional attachment beyond what she shows Roman when he does well, or Emerald for doing her job.

Wonderful! A masterpiece!

I really liked the part about Pyrrha and how she just CAN’T spit out how she feels or make a proper move in the face of Cinder’s actions. Jaune’s naivety was good as well, and how he yearns for any form of positive praise and positive feedback.
And then there is how Cinder finds a use for Jaune and bothers to look beyond the first impression of him, and sees potential. Potential to be of use to her, that is.

My only issue with this one: I’ve never deemed Jaune to be an idiot, like Cinder thinks. Yes, He is incompetent, naive, untrained, unschooled and inexperienced.
But competence can be gained. Naiviety can be cured by the harsh truth of life. The body can be made stronger. Schooling can be patched up and experience comes as one goes.

Other than that, wonderful! Great job!

This was short and sweet. I love the sinister plotting and execution Cinder does in this story, but her witnessing Jaune’s suicide was the cherry on top. I’d love for you to continue this, but I think this is best as a one-shot. The story is written well though, so I hope you continue to write.

Damn...just damn. Ashes indeed.

It would be interesting to see Cinder coping with Jaune's suicide but the impact from this ending was...well, tragic.