Hi, just got thru a re-read: don't listen to these morons your writing of Harry and Harry's relationship too Tonks is great.

Plot is very solid, but vocab, spelling and sentence structure are all poor and feel like you're writing at 120% maximum speed. This could be better with a few passes of revision, and very good if you found an editor / co-writer to help you.

NO! It ends there? Seriously?! Oh God the torture! Ahaharfhhahfrahgahhahgahaharghargh my name in Jefff and Im unhappy.

Its the little things I love. Ted almost swerving into another lane when Harry suggested a date lol. Its the little things that make a story.

That was awesome! By your notes, Im assuming people are trying to tell you how to write. I hate that. Dont let that discourage you.

Okay. I admit I was getting a little mad with the bullying and stuff but you really made it up with Andromeda. Oh hell yeah.

Still loving it. Somehow in two chapters, I can feel Harry and Tonks working out but I know Im behind in the story so we will see. God I hope you plan to continue because so far you havent let me down.

Holy crap this is amazing so far. Unlike others, you didnt go too far with Harry's attitude and added just enough humor to break it. Only one chapter in so I will reserve the rest. If I ended up loving this story and you stopped after one week because you were bored Im gonna kill you lol. We will see. On to chapter 2!

got to say not bad

and I love to stroke people egos

Your English level is so strange, mostly good writing intermixed with infrequent but absolutely jarring mistakes.
Good going for now though.

Really loving the story so far. Still needs an editor though

This is a very good story so far but I have to say that you really need an editor. So many spelling mistakes it's ridiculous. Every paragraph has at least one spelling mistake. Like writing April instead of August.

Fair enough! You put in the work to develop a plot and write the story so I can at least leave a review.

Good plot!
I think your pacing of Harry acquiring new skills is believable in the context of the story.
Love that Crookshanks/Godric is a link to his past.
Your OC is working well.
I think you have laid a good foundation for Harry to start developing allies as Andromeda suggested.
BTW I love that Andromeda knows about his ‘secret’ lair. It works with his age so well. After all what responsible adult would let him disappear to do who knows what. But what Slytherin adult would let the kid know that they know...yeah. I love the new family you have created for him.
Ok. Real life intrudes so my time is up.

You are doing a great job with your story, keep it up. I would recommend adding a beta to reduce errors in spelling but as a person who edits a friends writing I will say it could be worse!

On that note I have some suggestions:
See every chapter is a good opportunity to work on your proofreading skills. However I recommend you don’t obsess over getting it ‘perfect’ or you actually slow yourself down.
Ok I’m being bugged. Got to go.
Thanks for a fun story. I hope to read more soon.

Horseless carriage? But didn't Harry see Quirrell die? So shouldn't he see thestrals?

At first I really like that you change the Canon of Delphini Riddle.

It makes for me far more sense that she was borne before Voldemort lost his Body. He and Bellatrix had their natural Bodies and spend much time together. It also makes sense that she, as Narcissas Niece, would be living with the Malfoys.

It never made sense to me that Voldemort could have a Child with a Body that was more or less a Magical Construct and with a Bellatrix whose body has gone through 15 Years of Azkaban.

I also like that, while Harry wants to learn even Dark Arts to defend himself, he still has Morals and was able to become suspicious about Tom Riddle denieing him the knowledge of Oclumentic.
It is also very believable that Ribble would overcome Harry (as he did in the Story). The Idea of using a different Host to open the Chamber and wanting to have Harry on his side can also be understood.

I hope there will be a new chapter in the near Future and what Harrys, and Dumbledores, reaction will be. Harry because he will be furiest that he has been deceived by the killer of his Parent, and Dumbledore because he will suspect that Harry knows more about Tom Riddle as it seems.