It's phoenix. Derp.

Good job

Marry them

Looooove it

I love it especially the plot but if in could be more passionate with other characters

Loved it :) also loved the car you picked out for Severus

wow they sure have a lotta kids... ;D

wait one question...where the heck is Ron and Harry? are they still alive?

aww thats such a cute way to fall asleep :D wait so is Herms lying on top of Sev?

hey is Wuthering Heights a good book? btw great story so far :D

Please correct me if I'm wrong but from what I've read there shouldn't be any food in the kitchen. They hadn't bought the groceries the previous day becouse they had been too tired and had fallen asleep, so where did the food come from?

Speaking of sleep, I find your idea of them sleeping on a couch lovely and somewhat familiar :) Your story has an interesting and captivating plotline and your writing syle is very likable and easy to read.

I miss some mention of Hermione's parents though. Dumbledore would have surely written a line or two on the subject in his letter. After all, someone had to make arrangements for the funeral and some offer of condolences would be in order.

I find it difficult to believe that Hermione would just forget about the tragic death of her parents, although she might be in denial and will have some emotional reaction to the horrible events in the chapters I have yet to read.

This is ment to be a constructive criticism and I hope you take it as such. I wish you much success with your future stories :)

This story has some good elements, though it can be classified as crude at best. It is well written in the technical sense; you simply seem to fail at grasping the idea of subtlety and of drawing out the story. Realistically, would two people who have met for the first time in years(?) after having a 6 year student-teacher relationship engage in a passionate kiss? And, another element I often see in stories; you have changed both of the main characters appearence, and while yes, they would have changed over time, it is unlikely that they would have gone from average human beings to the divine creatures you make them out to be now. Maybe note a few things at a time, rather then doing a full-on head to toe run down in one breath. Have her notice his nicer teeth as he flashes her the first smile she's seen from him; reveal her less-wild hair through one of his rather snarky comments. The trick to descibing a character, my friend, is to not appear to be doing it.

I think that your plot line posses a great deal of potential. I would not object to continueing to read your work.

And please, I don't mean to be harsh, however it may sound. I only hope that you can see that I am not insulting your story, but suggesting ways to improve it. Wether you choose to accept my advice is entirely up to you.

J

I love it! They are sooo perfect together!

Awesome. Just awesome.