It's...it's...it's over! *cries* But what an ending! Everything was resolved! _

You used my suggestion! I'm so honored! _ What is this, the second suggestion I've made in a Wings review that you've used? *feels special*

The weapon and its wielder were perfect. Rock on, Glorfindel!

I can't believe it's done...congratulations! I'm so glad it all worked out!

Well, I'm off to read the new Lorien chronicle. *waves*

*waves* I'm reviewing! Yay!

Oh, dear. Poor twins...but they deserved it. Two stoned elves and icing are never a good combination.

And we see the return of Non-Entity Mode. I'm surprised Huchelda was smart enough to figure out who he was because of it.

Wow, Galadriel's awfully desperate, isn't she? I'm glad Celeborn wasn't too mad...and it all worked out...

LOTR limericks? Can't say I've ever tried that...

Only one chapter to go! *sobs* T_T

"When Worlds Collide" - Post-Fourth-Age Propaganda Piece or Hidden Truth? An attempt at source criticism

~dedicated to kingmaker, whose most exceptional, scholarly edition of the text made this study possible~

While other parts of the the tale commonly referred to as the "Plainte d'Huchelde et Viénasar" make it possible to mistake this post Fourth-Age novel for a mere tale of courtly love, the recently discovered Fragment 12, entitled "When Worlds Collide" in the manuscript, clearly reveals the revisionist nature of the piece. The tragic tale of Hugelda and Vinegar, whose love is doomed from the very beginning, is merely the outward shell of a surprising story obviously meant to offer another perspective on late Third-Age history, challenging the official historiography ("The Red Book of Westmarch", etc.). More openly than elsewhere, Aragorn, one of the chief heroes of the Third Age in official historiography, is presented as unable of displaying any sort of noteworthy prowess in one of the skills deemed most important for a member of the Third Age military and political elite: His inefficiency at cursing ridicules him and casts strong doubts on the importance of his role in the later events. It is noteworthy that his fiancée Arwen is presented at not being willing or able to compete with the others, either. The anti-Telcontarian tendencies of this piece of literature show clearly here. Hence, it is not surprising that the role of Glorfindel, who is openly presented as "an elf who played an important, if forgotten, role in the Third Age", is made more important - he is the true hero, ridding the world of a menace stemming from the First Age, a new Feanorian danger that could have caused more havoc than the affair of the One Ring the importance of which is emphasized in official historiography. His disguise as an Uruk-Hai and the seemingly ill-motivated presence of a young Balrog lady, who unexpectedly takes the role of a sage advisor, are obviously later interpolations that were added when the original tale, that may have presented orcs, balrogs, trolls, etc. as inherently evil, as was common in Fourth Age literature, became embarassing and endangered the peaceful relationship between the different races. The role of Radagast the Brown is also expanded, maybe meant as a gesture to honour a wizard who may still have lived in Middle-earth for quite some time after Gandalf's departure.

As late as a few years ago, a piece like "When Worlds Collide" would not have been considered a reliable source at all, but would have been discounted as a mere piece of Fourth Age or Post Fourth Age Propaganda of anti-Gondorian, anti-Feanorian, probably elvish, circles. However, the extensive studies of Peter Jackson have recently revealed that the "Red Book of Westmarch" and the sources related to it are not reconcilable with archeological evidence in many cases. So perhaps we must grant this fragment of a magnificent tale the benefit of the doubt - might there be a bit of hidden truth in there? And even if there is no historical truth, the inner truth is not to be discounted, as the frame tale clearly shows: The example of the authors is meant to inspire the reader to follow the example of the virtuous, if tragic, twins, for who, it not the Dark Lord, the incarnation of evil itself, could stand in the way of true love?

My contact just came out, which my be just as well as I haven't taken either out in several weeks. Anyway, off the random subjects, as usual, I loved this chapter. In response to my review response, I would say that I would have reversed your spellings/definition match-ups of the various boobies, but to each his own, I guess. Anyway, lots of fun things in this chapter. The thing that stands out in my mind is the open (nonexistent) window part. We always joke that the reason that Arwen's hands are so cold RotK is because there are no windows in Rivendell and Elrond just won't turn the heat on, will he? Also, loved Gimli taking the three hairs. Also, the resolution of the writer's personalities at the beginning was a nice touch!

Cheers!

-ec-

I think a male mary Sue is called a Gary-Stu, or a Marty-Stu. Very good, though.

I apologize for my tardiness in reviewing. :((

Heehee...Murderous!Arwen...I can't say I blame her...

Uh-oh...she's after Legolas...

Yay for inter-racial poker!

*reads Legolas's quote* *blinks* Uh...he's talking about the bird, right? Right?

LOL Huge-elda and the others' reactions...

Oh yes, the Shovel. Quite a useful plot device. _

RADAGAST! You put in Radagast! Yay! _ _ _ He's so underappreciated...

Heh...Sam's poem is accurate...but poor Legolas...

ROFL Pippin! That gave me the funniest mental image...

Oh, dear. Dominatrix!Galadriel.

Poor Celeborn...being mistaken for the father of the twins...that's gotta be awful...

LOL Eowyn's mistake...I can understand it, though. I mean, it's really hard to tell with Elves...and when said Elf is a Gary Stu, it makes things even worse...

Yay! I get Kudos! _

Two chapters? *tear* It'll be sad when it's over...but I can't wait to see how it ends! _

I think I missed the last chapter as my computer mysteriously turned off in the middle of it. (Don't ask, it's a sad, strange world I live in.) Anyway, this chapter was great. I knew the booby (is that the correct single spelling? Boobie is a nickname of a friend of mine so hence the confusion)reference was to the bird, and thought it hysterical. I used to get these animal fact cards when I was little and the blue footed booby was one of them...again refer to previous paranthetical quote. Anyway, the entire chapter was great. Love Eowyn, as usual! CAn't wait for more!

Coolio! Lurving the plot bunnies. BTW, did you get the bunny-on-a-wire thing from Monty Python & the Holy Grail? Just wondering, cuz' that's what it looks like. I really like your story! It's so evil it has me in tears! This will probably be my only post here, but just wanted to let you know you have an extra faithful-reader, if not faithful-reviewer! I ought stop putting things in exclamation points, I can't hear myself think! Ah! Got to go! Bye!

Fin'Amor, Politics and Death - thoughts on courtly life in late Third Age Imladris

(by Draco Septentrionis, M.A.)

~Dedicated to Master Crowbait~

The recently discovered source "The Autumn of their Discontent" allows the historian to see both political and private life in late Third Age Imladris in a new light and offers astonishing possibilities for further research.

One thing is noticeable before anything else - the clearly erotic character of this astounding piece of literature. The most tasteful songs related in the source, late examples of the famous Third Age elven and hobbitish love poetry, show a close relationship with a certain kind of medieval trouvère songs that extoll the physical beauty of the adored woman. We should bear in mind, though, that such songs always have a spiritual component. For example, comparison "Big as the moon" clearly is meant to make the listener/reader associate what is said afterwards with the nightly sky and, therefore, with Varda; Huge-Elda is not only praised for her own beauty, but as a worldly image of Elbereth. This legitimation of physical love through close association with sublime spirituality is also present in Prince Legolas' exclamation of "I love big boobies!", that is cleverly presented in a setting that makes it seemingly refer to the sacred birds of Radagast the Brown. As the shocked reaction of the elder generation, represented by Tanglinna and Galadriel, shows, such views on physical love did not go undisputed; this may also be due to the political implications intimate relationships had in such circles. Tanglinna's thought that "That's such a Noldor thing; wood elves are supposed to be leg men" can hardly be seen as an expression of a merely esthetic debate in the fin'amor discourse; it is a subtle metaphor for tradition-honoured wood-elven principles in marriage policy that were threatened by a Noldorized younger generation's ways now.

The political use of erotics is also present in Galadriel's actions, clearly meant to entice Gimli in a tangled web of pro-Noldorin intrigue and to prevent a politically undesirable union between Vinegar and Arwen.

A thrilling, bright, beautiful world of courtly intrigue and amusement, refined poetry and subtle humor - or so it could seem. But in fact, the world of elvendom is coming to an end already, and the heavy menace of death hangs above the heads of the courtly revelers, as shown only too clearly by Eowyn's arrival. The gesture of grabbing someone's arm, performed by a mortal woman (closely associated with death because of her mortality and her role as a warrior lady, vividly evoking ancient French depictions of "La Mort", death, as a woman armed with arrows) and accompanied by remarks about the "victims" way of life, shows clear parallels to the earliest Dances of Death and may be seen as a clear premonition of Vinegar's ultimate fate; theories about the French term "Danse Macabre", dance of death, being heavily influenced by the Quenyan word "macar", swordsman, come to mind if one remembers that Vinegar has been presented to the reader as a brilliant swordsman earlier. The irony in this is that Eowyn actually refers to Huge-Elda - like this, the scene can be read as a premonition of the fate of both twins.

As Vinegar is presented as the epitome of an elven courtier and warrior, uniting almost effeminate, dainty beauty with very virile skills, while Huge-Elda is the perfect example of the politically active, desirable courtly lady, it is only too clear that they stand for the whole world of the elven courts whose downfall is predicted here. The title of the piece makes sense before this background - Autumn it is, indeed!

*snork*

The twins are awful. Tanglinna is great. Aragorn and Arwen need a little rest.

Thank you for this nice parody. I was snickering to myself the whole time.

Better late than never...I hope! ;)

Actually, I like the titles - both of them. Temporary suicide..that would be intriguing!

LOL Oh dear! So Julius Caesar stole his speech from Elrond (well, Shakespeare's JC did anyway) Brought back that day in 10th grade when I had to recite it! Yikes!

But poor Gimli! Isn't it strange that the dwarves did not have the pointy ears, but round ones like men. But LOL! He has some things to be happy about in this chapter!

"Um, Elrond, you weren't supposed to tell them what we have already decided upon until after they'd heard the evidence..." LOL Elrond was jumping the gun a bit there! But that does cut to the chase, does it not?

I really enjoyed Gimli in this chapter! Yes, jewelry and destruction...that would sum up dwarven love! But he is so practical too! Yes, he has already decided things quickly and succinctly in his own mind. You gotta love him for that!

Um, what parts of Galadriel exactly were at his eye level? ;) Wicked dwarf!

:))

But yes, the poor twins - lost their powers over the perfect couple and have to sit with the *gasp* humans! That is an insult! To the humans! ;)

Pippin and Merry are a riot, even when they are being relatively quiet! Yes, some interesting 'foreign' curses would be just the thing to come away from Rivendell with! :))

But really! What exactly did Tanglinna do to make everyone so ... unfriendly toward him? Poor elf! ;)

Lesson #1: Never take on an arrogant uncanonical character! "So? Neither are you." Yes, Huchelda. Especially if *you* are uncanonical as well!

Lesson #2: When surrounded by Noldor...please be precise when insulting them. ;)

Tanglinna would be the one to find out about the Feanorean line. Occasionally, prejudice comes in handy.

You are quite right that the twins did act like Feanor - grasping, greedy, and having a passion for jewelry. oops. That was Thranduil. Sorry! ;)

"Thranduil's Master Archer spending time in the library?" Legolas interrupted. "Are you sure they haven't corrupted your mind as well?" Legolas is just so mean! Unfortunately, I understand whence he is coming from! ;)

And yes, you achieved a very boring, academic speech! Kudos to you! :)

But! LOL I have to agree with darling Gimli! A good tale about the dwarves and the goblins would certainly liven things up a bit. Elves do like to talk a bit too much without much action...except for Vienasar perhaps...though his 'action' seems to have escaped him! *Arwen*

LOL Tanglinna better keep an eye on the prince as Huchelda seems to be finding him a bit...too much to her liking suddenly, even if Aragorn is more attractive when he is not mindmush.

But ah yes! Arwen can be as scary as her granny! WooHoo! ;) ANd I guess she wins the most creative cursing contest! Merry and Pippin can rejoice! They have something to say when they get home! :D Fatty Bolger had better watch out!

"Aragorn made a mental note to never piss off his future wife." Every husband should make that note! We are fierce beings! ;)

And poor hungry Frodo! Give the guy a break and let him eat!

The entire "reactions to Arwen's wonderful potty mouth" section was brilliant! LOL I am still chuckling over it!

"Boromir wondered why everyone looked so shocked that the lovely Arwen had spoken in Elvish." I love it that Boromir is so clueless!

"Glorfindel wondered if the best way to defeat Sauron might not just be to let Arwen curse at him." If Luthien could defeat him with a song, then why not? I think it would be interesting if nothing else!

And Erestor's bet! And and and! I could go on and on! It was masterfully done!

Vienasar had better protect the family jewels...since the Dagger of the Noldorin is out for his blood!..or something. Somehow, I doubt he would enjoy being a soprano! ;)

And Boromir! I love him! Excellent use of Tolkienverse and your own twistings! LOL YOu continue this just far enough that it is hilarious and so fitting!

And yes, Frodo. YOu may eat as soon as you volunteer! I think Elrond probably already knew the way to get the Hobbits to do the dirty work was through their stomachs! I fear I would volunteer as well, if I was that hungry!

LOL THe Expedition to the South. YEs, that is an excellent name, but! What did she do to poor Figwit! What a fickle being she is! Will it never cease? And where exactly is Vienasar?

Brilliant funny chapter! :)

Elenath sila am le!

More has been written! Yay! I don't like QuickEdit either.

Another uncanonical addition? Who? Wait a moment...do you mean Nutsy? I suppose I'll juat have to read the chapter...

Poor Elrond...at least he got some sleep.

I'm highly amused by the Gimli/Galadriel thing going on. Tch, silly Celeborn, letting one of the few REAL warrior-babes in Arda out of his sight...

Perverted Witch and Mattress Lover...that seems to sum up most Sues/Hughes quite well...

WTF? Tanglinna thinks that Huchelda is a descendant of Feanor? Well, I can sort of see it...the gaudy jewelry fixation, the mindless obsession...

She's branching out? Hmph, typical fangirl...chasing after Aragorn, Legolas, and Frodo like a mink in heat...at least I'm more creative in my choice of lust objects...

hah, Vienassar is unfamiliar with the non-PJ-abridged council. Tch, it lasted half the day! I can't blame Frodo for being hungry. Poor thing.

Yay, I was right! It WAS Nutsy! _ *feels smart*

The reactions of all the characters to Arwen's curse are funny. They're so accurate!

You used the line I suggested! Yay! _

Elrond's quite good at convincing people, isn't he? ;)

Yes, I've wondered why they didn't just call Gwahir...probably because Tolkien wanted a plot...

Wow...18 people? Wouldn't they be rather a liability in Moria? I mean, if you're going to do the crumbling stair thing...

"Expedition to the South"? Well, it's practical, and I suppose Elrond's a bit less creative when he's tired...

So the twins are going on the Quest? Oh, dear...this fic is going to be longer and more complicated than I had first imagined...I hope they get that weapon soon, before something bad happens...Anyways, I've said this a million times, but I can't wait to see the next chapter. Keep this going!

Very funny indeed. I love Mary Sue parodies...and now there's also a Marty Sue as well. What a hoot! I think my favorite Theodosia fic is "Theodosia and the Art of Kicking Ass." I'm so glad TreeHugger told me she had reviewed two of your stories. I thought I'd take a look. Now,I can hardly wait to read Chapter 2. Good job!

Ceana

Considering our beloved authors have written 8 entire chapters together, they still seem rather oblivious of one another. ;)

Poor Huchelda. Her world is indeed getting rather...strange, isn't it? Well, not HER world, therein lies the problem.

"It could be carried by an African swallow." quotes Tanglinna with a grin.

"Oh yes! An African swallow maybe...but not by a European swallow." quotes Tree.

The silver-haired one sighs in exasperation. "They are in Middle Earth, Tree. You were supposed to say Ardan swallow, if this was going to work. You messed it up!"

"Oh. Sorry..." Raises one brow and smirks. "Bring out your dead!" *points at Tanglinna* "Here's one!"

Quotes the silver one indignantly, "I'm not dead! It was just a flesh wound! And don't you even start that!"

Quotes Tree rather wickedly, "What are you going to do? Bleed on me?"

;) I guess it was a bad idea to buy MP and the Holy Grail for Christmas. And kingmaker is probably wishing Tree were less familiar with MP and the Holy Grail.

Poor Hugelda,uh, Huchelda! anything can happen now! LOL to the old dwarf "Groin"! Honestly, does she think of nothing else! ;)

ROCL Yes, turn off that DVD! You are messing up things royally!

Quotes the silver haired one, "But follow only if you are men of valour. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men (and elves) lie strewn about its lair...therefore, sweet knights, (meaning you O Ranger of the North), if you may doubt your strength or courage come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big...teeth." *smirks*

Whispers Tree, "You should not talk about Hugelda that way!"

"Oh, look! There is me!" says the silver peacock.

"Bring out your dead!" repeats Tree.

"Am I being called an illiterate Silvan again?"

"No, dear. Thranduil just has no taste for books."

"True. I doubt they are sparkly enough for him and they don't come with a complimentary bottle of ... red Dorwinion." *bows to the creator or red Dorwinion*

"...chased by the wife of a Balrog in possession of one of the Nine Rings of Men with some of Ungoliant’s spawn in tow..." Now THAT is scary!

Well, well. It looks like the wicked Huchelda's days are nearing a close. But...will she ensnare that Ranger first? And her brother, Arwen? I hope they are not too late!

"Glorfindel and I are off to rescue the day,hm? 'In war we're tough and able, /Quite indefatigable/ Between our quests We wear sequin vests/ And impersonate Clark Gable/It's a busy life in ... Middle Earth."

Tree sighs and shakes her head.

E! Oh dear. So Arwen still ranks behind his...sister! ICK!

YIKES! Arwen has been visiting the Valley...oh yeah! LIKE she lives in the Valley ha! ha!

LOL Yes, even though they are wondrous strange, they are siblings and hate when the other one is right! Share the bridge and be quiet!

Wow! She is quite a jeweler! BUt...well, it seems that the dense brained Ranger is playing right into her hands! That is Not Good! The Settingsun is not the Evenstar, but I think her bewitchment has worked!

"I never get a stomach ache! What is he talking about?" growls the silver-haired one.

"He spared you the debacle with the ... um, the amourous dance earlier, so be quiet or you might have...hm, nevermind."

*glares fiercely*

ROCL Yay! for the twins of Elrond! I think Glorfindel must have enjoyed throwing that rock! :))

I, for one, cannot wait to see who these two are. That should be most...illuminating.

YAY! Again! True romance wins! LOL yes, dump those two imposters on their posteriors! That should cool them down for now!

Sings the silver one, "We're the Knights of the Round Table/We dance whene'er we're able..."

ROCL Poor Elrond. He don't get no respect! Not even from his daughter! ;)

Dang! That boy just does not give up! Luckily, Galadriel had the foresight to teach her granddaughter the one thing that will put amourous males out of commission. Yes, their namesakes. ;) *the silver haired one cringes. "ouch!"

O.O That villian! None canonical can enter...hm, well there are some noncanons wandering about, but that wicked villian took the key from Elrond! He is very wicked indeed, his true colors are showing. He certainly deserves...

*both Tree and Tanglinna look at one another then point at Vienasar* "Bring out your dead," they quote together and point at Vienasar. "Here's one!"

Very fun chapter! I am eagerly looking forward to the next one!

"As am I!" chortles that too peacocky elf.

*Tree raises her brows and a club...waggles her brows* "Should I or shouldn't I?"

;)

Elenath sila am le!

A post-modern perspective on a recently discovered new fragment of “To the Halls of Mandos in a Backpack