Excellent as always! Was very happy when I saw this had updated.

I saw ABC commenting on the German.
[Waves to ABC]
If WestronEnglish, why not OrcishGerman. According to canon Orcish has split into so many dialects that Orcs communicate in Westron too.
Zo, de ork gards speeking Vestron viz german akcents iz very close to canon, mein liebchen.
:D
I've come across a fic where Westron was French and Rohirric was English. Or the other way around ...
Finnish for Quenya and Welsh for Sindarin are no brainers :D

Borys

Interesting idea, and an original set of original characters! Jacko and the narrator have very loose banter — you write it well, and it isn't stiff. Your writing style and expression is also free-flowing and seems to come easily. Good. However, I doubt that 'Jacko' would be a historically accurate nickname for a man in the 1940s. I'll look it up, but it's better to be safe than sorry... :-)

Now, you introduce your characters very quickly, without any explanation as to how they ended up where they were. This is permissible for your two OCs, but the fact that your Elf and Dwarf turn up so suddenly confuses the reader. Moreover, how have Jacko and Narrator managed to get on such friendly terms with these people? How long have they been in Middle-Earth by this time? And — this is more of a personal pet peeve than a particularly pertinent issue to be addessed — since when is Westron English, and how would an orc be able to pick up the German language?

I suggest, to improve this, have at least a little introduction. Give us a bit of setting — it doesn't have to be reams of description (in fact, I'd rather it not be so) — just something to familiarise the readers with where we are. Show us how Narrator and Jacko meet — the 'who are you?'s and 'what on earth are you doing here?'s. What happens when they first land in this 'unfashionable backwater'. And so forth.

In short, the idea is good, and the thought's there, but it wants development. Sorry for the rant! Good day! :-)
A.B.C.

A bit heavy on Monty Python ...
Borys

Genious.
I will never think of Entwives the same way again ...
Borys

I'm favouriting this for the unique premise.
What Mark Spit is it? Is it one of the 2x20mm and 4x0.303 jobbies, or a late one, with 4x20mm armament?
The orc speaking German bought the show :)
Borys

Idk what I just read. I just know that it was AWESOME. I actually loved the OCs, human and otherwise.

I laughed so much at the last line! XD A German-speaking Orc... oh, brother... things are going to get weird.(as if they haven't already.)

This is brilliant. Great characters, flowing dialogue, and an actual knowledge of the books. And the humour ... This was ridiculously entertaining. Gay, diary-keeping, German-speaking Orcs, drunken Entwives - what more could one ask?
I look forward to seeing more of this story.

Oh God, I'm dying XD
Drunk party-animal entwives! I thought it couldn't get any better after Jacko flirting with Galadriel but you proved me wrong. The Balrog getting beat up by the entwives was suffice it to say, surprising. I thought they'd burn but he should've known better than to mess with their "ale" :P
I must confess, I'm American and I have to look up a lot of the slang. That's not a complaint, I'm not adverse to learning new slang. Thanks for translating the entwives though, I was having a bit of a hard time understanding.
Anyways, I'll be awaiting the next chapter :D

Very nicely done! I doubt even Tolkien could have thought up that battle scene. It was a nice climax to the chapter. There were a number of excellent lines I admired, such as "He had that faraway look of one who was imagining himself being sung about in centuries to come," "Dwarves do NOT retreat from orcs. We will WITHDRAW homeward, in good order," and the mighty 'Kevin, the Quite Pointy.'

Really enjoyed the writing. It's vastly superior to what you find on this archive.

This a prettty interesting/funny fic! Very entertaining, know what I mean? THEY FOUND THE ENTWIVES! :D Yayness! Keep up the awesome work!

~Light1396

This chapter has so many good things about it. Drunken entwives, “a hen night that has lasted since the Second Age,” the awkward, “Um, hi!”; the phrase, "I don't suppose that was some mountain animal that you all know about and aren't the least bit worried about?" and wheezing breath being compared to a pain-maddened warg. I really enjoyed the wit. This is a rare trait in LOTR fanfics, even in the humorous ones. Poor Quickbeam, having to endure such a delayed engagement. I suppose the time factor wouldn't bother an ent, though!

Odd footnote. Early in LOTR Tolkien gave a hint about the lost entwives. There's a discussion in a Hobbit pub about a tree walking along the Northern borders, and Treebeard tells Merry and Pippin later in the text that 'they would like your country.'

Very nice installment.

This is so brilliant! I love how effortless and clear the dialogue is, I love that the two of them are in podunk, capital: nowhere, and I especially love Jacko.

The diary bit was especially priceless.

This looks like a very promising setup for the coming battle, although the Allies appear to be more like the Keystone Cops at this point. Some of the lines I liked best were: “They all towered above me, partly because not one of them was less than 6’4” tall, partly because I had drawn the line when it came to wearing one of their silly helmets,” and “For the first time it occurred to me that winning one game of Diplomacy and watching most of “Blackhawk Down” maybe didn’t qualify me as a military leader.”

I’m looking forward to your next chapter!