This was a really fun little story, I think the silliest little thing I really loved was Angel being deeply unimpressed by Megatrons alt mode, no wonder he wanted her dead.

I've already read this story and the series and I got to say you did execllent! But what about Alyssa and Wheeljack? You never wrote if they got back together. I hope you'll consider to write what happens to them.

Wow this story and the other stories that come after are really truly good and very written.

Excellent job!

howdy. you MUST continue this story! Does Optimus ever find the girl? what happens with WheelJack and that other girl? Hmm? btw I love this story!

nice,sweet, and cute

Kenya told me about your Transformer stories.

I'm not a big Transformer fan, but the impossible love story... oh yeah. ;)

Very cool story! Now, on to story #2. ;)

SNIFF

I loved it. Thank you for a beautiful story.

Is there a sequel? If so, which of your stories is it? If not, can we expect one?

Please do continue this. You're making me want to watch this show again. :)

I haven't seen Transformers in years, and yet I'm liking this. I sympathize with the main character, though - I know what it's like to not fit in with one's family.

Moving on to the next chapter!

This chapter flows pretty well. I also liked how the protagonist ran to a church for safety. Megatron's threat sounded pretty accurate, but I don't think he'd use the term 'men'-a Human term, and I don't think Prime would use the word 'gonna', since it's English slang.

Anyway, on to the next!

This story has a good strong premise. I'm just now starting to read it but I gotta say, Roseprincess, I think the story is off to a good start. I do, however, have a critique. Your words get in the way of the story. Here's a good example:

At this point in was in the process of heading over to my coffee pot while she was attacking my TV. I finally got it to the point of being fixed and turned to see what she had turned the tube too.

Spelling notwithstanding, the work here drags.

Rather than: "At this point in was in the process of heading over to my coffee pot . . . "

Try: "I attended my coffee pot . . . "

The idea is noun-verb or as close to them as possible. Yes, it's necessary to use prepositions and prepositional phrases: ("At this point") But too much weighs down the story, slowing the reading.

" . . . while she was attacking my TV. "

Here we have a helping verb problem. Helping verbs/be verbs (am, is are, was, were, be, being, been) also slows the pace.

" . . . while she attacked my tv."-now that's action, movement, and it flows.: "I attended my coffee pot while she attacked my tv."

When I do my own work, I proofread and revise my work 3 times-it's fanfic and I'm not going to get too picky about it, since it's not going to an agent or a publisher. Still, I like to make sure my work flows, that it's easy and fun to read.

So, here I'm going on to the next chapter!

Wow...I never thought it would be deemed possible for an OC/Oppie fic...but wow...I'm impressed...I'm gonna read the rest of your serires now and RELISH EVERY SINGLE CHAPPIE! _

There's too many questions. Why is Optimus human? Why did he go by the name Orion? Did Angel know of Optimus's past? Overall it was ok. I'm going to read the sequel and hopefully it still keeps my interest.

As soon as Angel picked up the plasma ball, I knew it was the spark but what took me until near the end of the chapter was to figure out that the spark was intergrated into her body. This sounds promising.

please you have to continue this story it is too good to just end here please write more to it or write another story continueing on from where you left in this one please this is too good a story to just leave like this

i've been reading all of the angel series out of order because i like them a lot and i just figure i will put them in the order they are suppose to b in once i'm finished with them all this is the first time i have read the first one and suddenly it all came together u should write what number they are next to the title cause that would have made it a lot easier to find this instead of picking them randomly. that is one heck of a run on sentence. great story though like all the others too of course. i don't know how they found out waht her name was though cause she never mentioned it in the story. other than a few spelling mistakes keep up the good work! )