the overall story is pretty good, but there is one major thing, your spelling is not too great, some parts i had trouble deciphering because of the poor spelling, using spellchecker can fix this problem in the future. your story was well rounded in the content, even with the OOC (out of character) sections

That was pretty good, Chickie. I like the Kingdom Hearts thingie. But is Quistis still human? What happened? How did Squall get there? WHERE'S THE RINOA SUFFERS PART?

ANyway, thanks for writing it, CHickie.

Poor Squallywally. *runs after Rinoa with a boogerhankey* EAT THIS! DON'T HURT MY SON LIKE THAT!

Oh well, let the world die, and let Rinoa live. That'll torcher her. I mean, humans are social beings, even the strongest can't survive that. HEHHWHE. Suffer, Rinoa SUFFER!

...that woman is insane.

Man, why doesn't anyone go after Rinoa and kill her? And where's the 'Rinoa suffers' part? Nice chapter, Chickie.

Short. But cute.

Nice chapter, Chickie. Seifer and Xu together? I like that. Maybe cause I look like her most out of all characters. Being asian and all. hehehehhehehehe.

...don't you have bed times? I'm 17 and I have a bed time of 23 00 hours. But I usually get in bed at 22 30.

Anyway, nice chapter.

Yeah, poor Seifer. Squally! That man loves her. You of all people should understand. You love her too!

m...where's the runt? Her name starts with an R. Oh well, sweet chapter. I feel sad for Seifer. I wonder if he knows he's Squall's father/my spermdonor?

Sweet chapter.

...Rinoa. Really. *Point finger at her* BANG!

Oh come on, someone kill Rinoa NOW! Wait, I'm his mother, I want Squally to be happy. DIE RINOA DIE!

Rinny *throws crumbled pieces of paper*...go away. YTEYYAAGAHA!

And let Quisty and Squally be happy! He's my son, but I think I already told you that.