Screw all those who wrote negative comments. I think it's well written and sweet. Not in the slightest cliché

It is short, but it does explain alot about her i loved it. I think you should write more, maybe write from her point of view, but i love it.

An interesting idea that Commodus could have ever loved anyone as much as his sister, although this is hard to believe.

Your illustration of events is quite unreal - this sort of thing would not really happen. I agree with Academia

- how would Commodus become involved with a Jewish maid? Would he have ever been so 'nice' as to take anyone food and ride horses with her?

For any sort of sweeping gestures like this you need to back up your facts and flesh out your characters.

Why was Commodus involved with a Jewish girl? Seriously, Sarah is a Jewish name. Unless you're going to explain how Commodus would come into contact with a poor Jewish girl...

Just do your damn research before writing.

Very nice. I just seen Gladiator for the first time 2 weeks ago and loved it. But I felt so sorry for Commudous, all he wanted was for someone to love him :(

This was just great.

ugh. i hate mary-sues.

cliche.

not-too-badly written.

can't sense the character in the center of the story.